


Blended

by Layla Z (1D_Fan)



Series: Blended [1]
Category: GOT7, K-pop
Genre: Actor Park Jinyoung, Alternate Universe, Anxiety, Blended family, Bullying, Director Im Jaebum, Im Jaebum is Whipped, M/M, Multi, OT7, Other, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Panic Attacks, jjparents, kid got7, most likely not but just in case, possible triggers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-07
Updated: 2018-12-10
Packaged: 2019-06-06 22:16:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 51,933
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15204626
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/1D_Fan/pseuds/Layla%20Z
Summary: For years it was just Jinyoung and his two kids, then there was Jaebum with his own trio of miracles. Jinyoung and Jaebum decide to get married and while the kids say they're happy for their parents the reality of having your world flipped upside down doesn't pan out the way they'd all hoped.When two families become one, there's bound to be a few growing pains.Or, Jaebum and Jinyoung get married and have to figure out how to parent five children.





	1. You and Me

“Alright guys, we have something we want to tell you.”

 

Jinyoung gathered all five kids in his living room sitting them on the couch.

 

They had been running around the backyard blowing bubbles and terrorizing the neighbors dog with the mini vac Jinyoung thought he’d hidden from them months ago. But after lunch and a few popsicles they were all in need of a little break before going back for more.

 

Though the couch was meant for three, they made it work with Bambam sat on Jackson’s lap on one end and Yugyeom sat on Mark’s on the other, Youngjae inbetween them getting popsicle juice all over his pants.

 

Jaebum came in with a roll of paper towels patting Youngjae down. Though he was left with a giant red stain on his thigh at least he wouldn’t be whining later about how sticky he was. Jaebum gave Mark one as well just in case, even though his popsicle was nearly finished. And Yugyeom just because if didn’t get one they’d have to deal with a temper tantrum.

 

And they really couldn’t handle that before the real storm settled over them.

 

When Jaebum sat next to him on the ottoman, Jinyoung thought he would’ve calmed down but seeing all the faces looking over at him, waiting for the reason they were being withheld from their playdate (or chill time as Jackson was beginning to call it) had his heartbeat rising dangerously high in his chest.

 

Jinyoung didn’t know why he was so nervous, he’d never felt the telltale butterflies in his stomach or constriction in his throat before. Not since middle school when he started performing full time and got desensitized to audiences.

 

His last play, featured an audience of almost five thousand and Jinyoung didn’t break a sweat. But sitting infront of five kids with his boyfriend was like standing before a judge awaiting sentencing, and Jinyoung hoped they would all have mercy.

 

“Is it a guessing game?” Yugyeom asked, bouncing. He gripped the paper towel in his hands so tight his finger nails started to tear little holes through it.

 

Jinyoung made a note to clip them later. “Nope.”

 

“Remember what I told you guys about last night?” Jaebum said with a smile.

 

Jinyoung looked over at him wide eyed,  _You didn’t tell them yet did you?_

 

Jaebum gave him a pat on the knee,  _Of course not._

 

Youngjae having finished his popsicle began sucking on the wooden stick, somehow he wasn’t content with just getting the juice on his brand new pants but he’d also gotten it on his cheeks turning them a rosy color that made Jinyoung want to squeeze them more than ever.

 

“You said Mr.Park had a surprise for us. ”

 

Bambam and Jackson looked at Jinyoung, clearly confused.

 

Jinyoung spoke up before they could start with the theatrics, “I didn’t tell you guys about it, because you’d keep bugging me to tell you before the other boys.”

 

“We would not.” Jackson defended.

 

“Yeah, they always get to know everything first anyway.” Bambam said with a pout.

 

Jinyoung reached over to tuck his distended lip back into place, “I’m sorry, it’s just Jb has a problem keeping secrets.”

 

Jaebum rubbed the back of his neck, “Do I?”

 

Jinyoung rolled his eyes.

 

Jaebum was absolutely horrible at keeping secrets. If it wasn’t for him trying to squeeze in an extra few seconds at the door when they went out on date night a few weeks ago Bambam wouldn’t still be asking him what kissing was.

 

Luckily the seven year old was easily put off with a lollipop or a tv show but Jackson just kept asking why Jinyoung was making out with his boss prompting Bambam to ask what making out was and leaving Jinyoung to buy them both new games for their playstation out of guilt.

 

But Jinyoung also wouldn’t be the happiest he’d ever been in his life it wasn’t for Jaebum so he let the guy have a pass more often than not.

 

Yugyeom spoke up next, “We do not, you got to see my dad’s new play first.”

 

“Nuh-uh.” Bambam said.

 

“Nuh-huh.”

 

“Nuh-uh.”

 

“Boys.” Jaebum cautioned.

 

They both quieted immediately and Jinyoung wanted to plant a kiss on Jaebum’s cheek for his disciplinary skills. He was strictly against hitting children and his voice was enough to have Mark, Youngjae and Yugyeom immediately apologizing and listening to his advisory. Bambam and Jackson were still a hit or miss with Jackson sometimes ignoring him entirely. When they did listen Jinyoung was thankful he wouldn’t have to start doling out punishments.

 

Mark peaked out from behind Yugyeom’s shoulder to say quietly, “Dad I have a project I have to finish before school tomorrow.”

 

“This will only take a second okay?” Jaebum reassured him.

 

Something about how Jaebum could calm Mark in the same beat as he’d shut down a potential argument had Jinyoung more certain than ever that he was about to do the right thing.

 

He breathed in deeply and joined his hand with Jaebum’s, the gaps between his fingers accommodated Jinyoung’s perfectly and his warm palm was like a shot of dopamine.

 

“You ready?” Jaebum asked with a smile.

 

Jinyoung nodded, “Okay. You know how Jb and I have been spending a lot of time together?” he addressed Bambam and Jackson.

 

“For the play?” Bambam asked.

 

“Yes for the play, but also because I like to be around him.”

 

“Because you’re best friends?” Yugyeom had been fixated on the idea of best friendship for a while which baffled Jinyoung, but he shook his head nonetheless.

 

“We’re more than that kiddo.”

 

Jaebum looked over to him with a soft smile, “A lot more.”

 

Jinyoung felt his heart fluttering, “We’re dating…we have been for quite some time.”

 

The boys all nodded.

 

Jinyoung didn’t expect many surprises there, he’d introduced a few boyfriends to his own kids. More than he wished he’d let into their lives but they sat through a few dating announcements not to mention Jb had been around most of their lives off and on so they’d gotten accustomed to his presence. Jinyoung wasn’t sure what the deal was with Jaebum’s children but he thought they were used to the director dating a few of his actors here or there.

 

Either way Jinyoung was glad that part didn’t cause too much trouble.

 

“But there’s more,” he continued.

 

Jaebum took over then, “We’re not just dating…we’re engaged.”

 

Mark shifted farther back in the chair.

 

Jinyoung took in the four confused faces and decided to clarify, “That means what exactly Jaebum?”

 

“It means…we’re getting married.” He smiled pulling Jinyoung closer to him.

 

Jinyoung let himself get caught up in the words for a while. They’d been discussing it for months, telling a few of the other cast members so no one would be shocked when they came in one day with rings but that was nothing compared to the euphoria of telling your kids. When he looked over to the shockingly quiet group, Jinyoung felt his happiness dry up like a summer puddle.

 

Bambam detached himself from Jackson his whole body shaking as he spoke, “Does that mean…?”

 

“Yep,” Jaebum added, “I’m gonna be your new dad.”

 

And then,

 

All hell broke loose.

* * *

 

“You’re a liar. I hate you, I hate you, I hate you.” Bambam said through the bathroom door.

 

Jinyoung sat at the top of the stairwell trying to remember they were just words and Bambam didn’t mean them. But while Bambam had locked himself in the bathroom only an hour ago after crying for an even longer amount of time. Jackson had been in the basement playing his music so loud the floor was thumping and hadn’t said a word to Jinyoung at all.

 

“Bammie please, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings.”

 

“You lied to me. You lied to me and I hate you. I’ll hate you forever and ever and ever…”

 

He kept going, his voice shaking. Jinyoung wanted to bust down the door more than anything and take the boy in his arms and tell him he really was lying in regards to Jaebum. But he had to allow Bambam to let all his frustrations out even if they were hurtful, he did drop a bomb on the poor kid.

 

On the bright side though,

 

He’d probably sleep better.

 

“…until you die then I’ll keep hating you because you’re the biggest liar on planet earth.”

 

“I didn’t mean to lie to you Bambam I’m sorry.”

 

Suddenly the door swung open and there was the trembling figure curled up next to the cabinets, “You said…”

 

Jinyoung moved forward, testing whether or not Bambam would shut him out once again. When the door remained open he inched all the way in until he was wedged in the frame. “I know what I said.”

 

“But…but you lied. You made a promise and you broke it dad.”

 

“How many times do you want me to say sorry Bambam? I know I should have told you sooner but I didn’t break my promise and I didn’t lie.”

 

“Then why are you getting married?”

 

“Because...because it’s hard to explain but I love Jb…a lot. I thought you’d be happy for me Bammie.”

 

Bambam shook his head, “I am. Jb buys us toys, and good food, and when he baby sits he lets us stay up late…”

 

Jinyoung wasn’t surprised, Jackson and Bambam were both zombified the day after Jaebum babysat. Jaebum said it was because they had so much fun but Jinyoung knew his boys like the back of his hand.

 

He was however confused, if Bambam was happy and he liked Jb why was he still so upset? Jinyoung asked him as much, hoping the question wasn’t too hard for Bambam to answer. Then he’d get frustrated and slam the door all over again.

 

“You broke your promise. You say all the time we’re men so we have to stick to our word but you didn’t.”

 

Jinyoung didn’t know how to make Bambam understand so he judged by the way his eyes kept drooping and the lack of bite to his words that he was nearing the end of his energy supply and Jinyoung bundled his son up in his arms, “I’m sorry I made you so worked up sweetheart.”

 

Bambam sniffled tucking his face into Jinyoung’s neck, “I like Jb but he’s not-“

 

“I know Bam.” Jinyoung heard a creak on the stairs and saw Jackson not so slyly attempting to sneak away, “And where do you think you’re going?”

 

Jackson stood awkwardly on the landing, stuck between going up the stairs and back down them. But when Jinyoung opened one of his arms the eleven year old wasted no time cuddling into Jinyoung’s side and resting his head on Bambam’s shoulder.

 

“I like Jb too.”

 

“But?”

 

“No buts…I want you to be happy dad.”

 

Jinyoung struggled against Bambam’s arms around his neck but once he was able to, he looked at Jackson, the kid’s eyes trying so hard to shut. “I am happy buddy.”

 

With his arms full of the people he loved most in the world, so close he could feel their chests rise and fall with their breaths. His nose full of Bambam’s peach shampoo and Jackson’s hair gel, all he could see were twin heads full of dark hair. Jinyoung thought he really did mean those words.

 

Even if Bambam definitely poured all his vitamins in the toilet while Jinyoung left him alone in the bathroom the little fruit shaped gummies were all over the floor. Even though Jackson had been spraying that god awful cologne once again.

 

He was happy.

 

And Jinyoung was certain, that with the love of his life by his side there was no other way to go but up.


	2. Me and You

Jaebum was used to being outnumbered.

 

In middle school it was the kids that constantly made fun of his slanted eyes, in high school the girls that he found himself turning down for reasons he wouldn’t realize until much later and in college it was his roommates making it their mission every weekend to try and drag him away from his studies.

 

But all that had nothing on a screaming six year old.

 

“You’re my dad, why do I have to share?” Yugyeom screamed pounding the table with his fists.

 

Jaebum had thought Yugyeom would have calmed down by then, it was nearing his bed time and the poor kid had been screaming himself into a headache since two o’clock that afternoon. Jaebum had tried calming him down with those little pizza bites he liked but Yugyeom just shoved them to the floor and kept on yelling.

 

Before he could smack his cup of apple juice to floor Mark caught his fist and moved the cup safely out of arms reach, “I have to share  _everything_ , it’s not fair.”

 

“Dad what color is the front door?” Youngjae asked sorting through his crayons for a fitting shade to fill in his picture of what Jaebum assumed was their house, though he couldn’t recall when they’d gotten a driveway.

 

Jaebum handed him a brown crayon, “It’s looking good bud.”

 

“I’ll have to share my room and my toys and  _my_ dad.” Yugyeom whined.

 

If it was any other day Jaebum would have shushed Yugyeom immediately or had him sit in timeout for his tantrum, but he had every right to be upset. It wasn’t everyday he learned he’d be getting two new siblings, a new dad and a new house.

 

Jaebum had let it slip they’d all be moving in with Jinyoung on the drive home and the whole car had erupted into chaos. While Mark and Youngjae had calmed down, Youngjae probably forgot about the issue and once the shock wore off Mark was back to shutting Jaebum out leaving Yugyeom to yell and complain until his face turned a bright shade of red.

 

“You’re just so mean.” He slumped forward on the table dialing up the theatrics.

 

Jaebum found it more cute than anything but he decided to take Yugyeom seriously, “It’s not just you that has to share Gyeomie, Bambam and Jackson have to share too.”

 

“But I don’t  _want_ to.”

 

“We have to do things we don’t want to sometimes okay?”

 

Yugyeom just yelled kicking at his seat so hard the whole kitchen felt like it was rattling, “Not if it’s mine.”

 

Jaebum ran his hands down his face trying not to let out his frustrations. It wasn’t Yugyeom’s fault things were changing, it wasn’t his fault that Jaebum couldn’t stay single for more than five minutes and it most certainly wasn’t his fault that the man Jaebum fell for happened to have his own children Yugyeom would have to share Jaebum’s attention with.

 

“You share with Mark and Youngjae all the time how is this any different?”

 

“ _Because_.”

 

“Because what?”

 

“Because it is.” He huffed.

 

“Yugyeom, pick your head up off the table.”

 

Yugyeom did as he was told but his eyes were turning red as if the tears he’d been fighting all evening were ready to fall.

 

Jaebum had never known Yugyeom to be much of a crier, even as a baby he would simply look around in confusion staring up at Jaebum with wide eyes like he was trying to figure out what was happening. If he was being driven to tears, the news must really have hit him hard.

 

Instead of pushing the issue any farther Jaebum decided to change the subject entirely, “How’s the project coming along Mark?”

 

“Fine.” He said avoiding eye contact, “May I be excused?”

 

“Can I be scused too?” Youngjae asked.

 

Jaebum nodded even though he needed some time to talk to the two of them before bed, there were only so many things he could handle at once.

 

Mark cleared the table pushing his chair in the way Jaebum taught him to so it wouldn’t scrape up the linoleum.

 

Youngjae gathered his crayons, holding his picture up for Jaebum to see, “Can you make a story?”

 

Jaebum gave him a kiss on the forehead, those chubby cheeks were so hard to deny sometimes but he still had work tomorrow and with the day being so tiring already, Jaebum doubted he could come up with anything satisfactory for Youngjae before bed time.

 

“Not tonight kid.”

 

“What about bath time?”

 

Jaebum shook his head once more, “I don’t think Gyeomie wants to have bath time today.”

 

As if to prove his point Yugyeom let out another scream-kick combo that would’ve sent dishes clattering to the floor if it wasn’t for Mark saving them.

 

“But…you check monsters right?”

 

Youngjae was still having problems with his speech and while Jaebum should have corrected him he found it so adorable he just had to give Youngjae another peck, “Of course, ask Markie pooh to help you get washed up okay?”

 

He nodded vigorously, his feet hitting the floor awkwardly as he ran up the stairs after his older brother.

 

Jaebum took a deep breath preparing himself to deal with hurricane Yugyeom.

* * *

 

 

Jaebum stood at Mark’s door an hour later, his fist poised for a knock.

 

Youngjae had fallen asleep easily, just a quick monster check and he was good to go, Yugyeom tired himself out from screaming and went to bed with a sore throat. Jaebum thought he would’ve been denied his goodnight kiss but when he turned to leave Yugyeom made a pouting sound and Jaebum couldn’t live with himself if he didn’t tickle it away.

 

After the giggles died down and Yugyeom was even more tired than before Jaebum stole a kiss to his nose, turning on his flower shaped nightlight. When he got to Mark’s room he expected his eldest to be asleep as well but the light leaking out from under his door told Jaebum that was not the case.

 

He kept raising his fist to knock but every time he got close he thought better of it and dropped his hand at his side. Jaebum shook his head turning on his heal when the hinges creaked and Mark poked his head out his long fringe hanging in his eyes.

 

Jaebum cleared his throat knowing he’d been caught, “Hey buddy what’re working on in there?”

 

Instead of answering Mark stepped aside and nodded toward his desk where his math textbook was spread out among a set of graphing paper and a large poster board.

 

Jaebum moved past him into the room where he saw the source of the light, the lava lamp one of Jaebum’s exes had gotten, Jaebum never knew why Mark was so fascinated with it. He’d come in sometimes and find him just staring at the colorful blobs floating around.

 

He sat at the end of the bed taking in the neatness of it all, everything had a proper place.

 

Shoes in the closet, heels out.

 

Backpack next to the desk.

 

Freshly washed clothes folded neatly on top of the dresser.

 

It was a stark contrast from Youngjae and Yugyeom’s room where Jaebum was constantly putting things back in order. He really had to count his blessings sometimes, if Jaebum had to field three sets of tantrums all the time he might have been bald already.

 

Mark sat in his desk chair twiddling his thumbs, “Uh dad?”

 

“Hm?” Jaebum ducked his head to find the pair of brown eyes he knew were hidden under the long hair.

 

“Is Mr.Park nice to you?”

 

“Of course he is kiddo.”

 

Mark shook his head, “No…is he  _nice_ to you?”

 

“Yes he’s very nice to me, he’s nice to you too isn’t he?” Jaebum wasn’t sure where the line of questioning was coming from but he’d take any opportunity he could to get a glimpse into how Mark was feeling about the whole thing.

 

“Yeah…”

 

“But?”

 

He sucked in a breath then let it out along with a flurry of other words, “What if he’s only nice now because you’re working on the play together then when it’s over he’ll be mean like Mr.Holiday.”

 

“Well…” Jaebum squirmed, leave it to Mark to ask the hard questions.

 

“Does Mr.Park hurt you too?”

 

Jaebum wasted no time shaking his head, “Absolutely not Mr.Park has been very nice to me so far.”

 

“But not when the play is over?”

 

“I can’t tell you what will happen when the play is finished, but I can tell you Jinyoung has been nothing but kind to me and to us and he’s just…” Jaebum nodded to himself, “he’s just what I think I need right now…what we need.”

 

“Okay, but-“

 

“Mark look at me.” When he refused Jaebum took the wobbling chin his hands tilting it up to catch Mark’s eye, “Jinyoung is a good man. I would never have let you meet him if I didn’t think so. I know I made some mistakes in the past and I can’t promise you anything but he won’t hurt me, I won’t let him.”

 

“But what if he does?”

 

Jaebum shook his head, “Then we’ll beat him up. You, me, Yugyeom and Youngjae he won’t stand a chance.”

 

Mark shook out of his hold appearing unconvinced. He went back to his desk and Jaebum knew he was being shut out once again.

 

He didn’t know if it was the beginning of the terrible teens and Mark was about to start locking his door and hating him or if it wasn’t a sign of anything at all and Mark was just being Mark. He’d never been one to let out his emotions so easily.

 

Jaebum leaned down to give him a kiss on the forehead, “Don’t stay up too late we have somewhere to be tomorrow. Goodnight.”

 

Mark mumbled a goodnight in response.

 

Jaebum watched him a little longer before shutting the door.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise there will be kid fluff next chapter instead of all the whining the rugrats just needed to let off some steam first.
> 
> I also won't be posting for a while because I've decided to focus on quality over quantity and it's not fair that I don't post my best work, while I do write for myself I post for the readers and you guys don't deserve a lazy publisher.  
> That being said comments are always appreciated and thank you for reading.


	3. Both of Us

Jinyoung had always been told if he was ever to be wed, it would never be for his cooking skills. He was good at taking care of people and putting others ahead of himself. While he was still easily annoyed and too serious sometimes, with the right person, he’d make a great husband.

 

But definitely not because of his cooking.

 

Looking down at the charred pancake on the stove Jinyoung realized just how true that was.

 

Jaebum had come over with the boys late last night and Jinyoung wanted to surprise them with their favorites, Bambam and Yugyeom liked pancakes, Youngjae and Jackson liked oatmeal and Mark didn’t seem to have a preference for one thing over another. The oatmeal was simple enough, just add water and stir but somehow Jinyoung left the fire up too high and the bottom ended up burnt while the top didn’t cook at all. He moved onto pancakes hoping for a different result but the batter came out so chunky it cooked unevenly and one half was completely blackened.

 

“Dad,” Jackson whined. He stomped in holding his shirt up over his nose with one hand and using the other to take the pan over to the sink and run cold water over it so a wall of steam rose. “You’re supposed to add flour  _before_ you put it in the pan.”

 

“I try to do something nice and you scold me?”

 

Jackson rolled his eyes squeezing out a healthy amount of dish soap, “I was really excited for pancakes.”

 

“Since when did you like sweet things?”

 

“Since they started tasting so good.”

 

Jinyoung couldn’t help but laugh and give Jackson’s hair a ruffle. He scraped the oatmeal into the trash and bought out the cereal, fruity pebbles, cheerios and frosted flakes.

 

While Jackson got out bowls Youngjae came running in and Jinyoung had to snatch him up before he could crash into Jackson’s knees and send all the dishes flying, “Good morning.” He settled Youngjae on his hip. Though he was already nine, Youngjae still couldn’t seem to put on the proper weight and even Yugyeom was passing him in size. But Jinyoung didn’t mind, he got to keep one baby just a little longer.

 

“I had dream about power rangers.” Youngjae said excitedly pulling on the neckline of Jinyoung’s shirt for attention.

 

“You had a dream about power rangers?”

 

Jackson got out the gallon of two percent milk and a quart of lactose free. “I bet I was the red ranger.”

 

“No my dad was red ranger.”

 

“Is that so?” Jinyoung asked setting Youngjae down so he could go grab Bambam stumbling all over the living room in his tired state.

 

Bambam whined but let Jinyoung pick him up regardless. He’d grown out of being carried rather quickly and at first Jinyoung was glad his back would have a rest but he missed having his arms full of fussy kids, he knew times likes this were coming to an end and he did his best not to think about it as he settled Bambam next to where he planned on having Yugyeom sit.

 

“And I was yellow ranger.” Youngjae dug into his frosted flakes talking with his mouth full, “Yellow ranger cool.”

 

“Yellow ranger _is_ cool.” Jackson said pouring Bambam fruity pebbles, he tried to pour his milk too but Bambam just pushed him away and began eating it dry.

 

Jinyoung went to the fridge to get out the fruit bowl, if he couldn’t make something satisfactory for the kids he could at least make sure they had something healthy along with their bowls of sugar.

 

He almost ran straight into Mark when the preteen suddenly appeared at the seat directly behind him. “Four down two more to go.” He mumbled handing Jackson the bowl so he could start passing it around.

 

Jinyoung leaned against the stove watching the boys interact.

 

Youngjae was still talking about power rangers, Jackson listened intently correcting him every time he forgot a word, Mark sopping up the milk that kept sloshing out of Youngjae’s bowl with the sleeve of his pajama shirt. Bambam was in his own world, humming to himself while he munched cereal from his hands.

 

Jinyoung decided to go get Yugyeom before all the other boys finished so he wouldn’t be eating alone.

 

He took the stairs two at a time and seeing the door to Bambam’s room was still open from when it’s owner left earlier Jinyoung assumed it was safe to walk in.

 

He was met with Yugyeom sat on the floor next to the bed with his knees pulled up to his chest. He plucked at the carpet, having created a nice pile of threads at feet. Before he could do anymore damage Jinyoung cleared his throat and Yugyeom’s head whipped around so fast Jinyoung was taken aback.

 

“I’m not hungry.” He mumbled, crawling further away.

 

Right on time his stomach grumbled and Jinyoung stifled a laugh as he stepped into the room, sitting down next to the small body, “Really?”

 

He nodded picking at the hole at the top of his sock.

 

“Because I know someone who likes fruity pebbles that needs a friend.”

 

“Bambam said I’m annoying.”

 

Jinyoung felt his brows pinching, “When did he say that?”

 

“After bedtime. He doesn’t like my nightlight.”

 

“That wasn’t very nice of Bambam.” Jinyoung knew Bambam had a diva side when he was tired but he never thought he’d be so blatantly rude to Yugyeom. They usually bounced off each other well, whatever Bambam did Yugyeom followed right behind him. It was a rare occurrence that Jinyoung saw one without the other.

 

“No.”

 

“How about this, I talk to Bambam later and right now you go eat something so your dad won’t be mad at me.”

 

Yugyeom shook his head quickly, standing up arrow straight, “You can’t tell Bambam. I’ll eat I promise.” He walked swiftly out the door leaving Jinyoung more confused than ever.

 

Jinyoung swiped imaginary dust off his jeans following after the dark-haired boy.

 

Yugyeom had done just as he said, waiting patiently for Jackson to finish pouring his milk. Jinyoung admired the five of them. Even in the morning, when everyone was cranky and needed their breakfast, they were still so unbelievably familiar with each other. Jackson loud as ever talking with Youngjae, Bambam and Yugyeom mixing their cereal together to create a mashup that had them both giggling and Mark jumped between the two pairs cleaning up spills and nodding along.

 

It was almost complete except…

 

“Daddy,” Youngjae pushed out from the table running to Jaebum who was still rubbing sleep from his eyes.

 

Jaebum caught him instanty, his parent reflexes kicking in quickly. He shifted Youngjae onto his shoulders, saying ‘mhm’ as Youngjae’s mouth went a mile a minute about his power ranger dream. Jaebum stopped beside Jinyoung to give him a kiss on the cheek (keeping it PG) then off to the stove to gawk at the burned remnants of pancake.

 

“I smelled something burning.”

 

“So you decided to stay in bed?”

 

Jaebum nodded shamelessly.

 

Jinyoung caught himself staring at the way Jaebum so easily nodded along with Youngjae and gave Yugyeom a tickle behind the ear.

 

Jackson casually knocked his bowl to the floor so it made a loud clattering sound and the entire room collectively jumped, “Sorry.”

 

“Don’t worry I’ll clean it, wouldn’t want you to cut yourself.” Jaebum passed Youngjae off to Jinyoung getting the broom and dustpan from where they were wedged between the fridge and the counter.

 

Jinyoung gave Youngjae a few more bounces before letting him down to finish eating. “So, the plan for today is to just clean. I want to make sure everything’s straightened up before you guys go back to school tomorrow. Jackson and Bambam I want you to clean your rooms.”

 

“I just did for when Hoseok came over.“

 

“If I go down there and that same sock is sitting in that same place Jackson I swear to god-“

 

Before he could finish the sentence Jackson had darted off to the basement, taking the vacuum along with him.

 

“Any complaints from you Bam?”

 

“Can Gyeomie help?” He asked, gripping the younger boy’s hand.

 

Jinyoung still had a few things he wanted to talk about with Bambam before he let him off alone with Yugyeom but the six-year-old seemed to have no issue and held Bambam’s hand just as tight, “If that’s what Gyeomie wants?”

 

When he nodded, Bambam wasted no time yanking him along as he bounded up the stairs.

 

“If you could clean out the linen closet and the bathroom that’d be awesome.” Jinyoung said to Mark who just nodded and grabbed some cleaning supplies from under the kitchen sink before heading off.

 

Youngjae came over attaching himself to Jinyoung’s knees, “What can I do?”

 

Jinyoung smiled down at him before picking him up to rest on his hip, “You get the most important job, you get to help me make brownies.”

 

“I love brownies.”

 

“I know you do.” Jinyoung gave him a kiss on the nose looking up to see Jaebum with the goofiest grin on his face watching them both instead of clearing the table. “What?”

 

“I’m just looking.”

 

Jinyoung rolled his eyes, “Go clean the living room, we got this. Don’t we Youngjae?”

 

“Ah so bossy, you give them a ring and all of sudden…”Jaebum mumbled just loud enough for Jinyoung to hear as he passed by, earning himself a smack to the behind.

 

“Brat.”

 

* * *

 

Cooking had always been Jinyoung’s favorite pastime when it came to Youngjae.

 

He loved all the kids equally but, they had their specialties. Jackson and Mark liked sports or anything physical, Bambam liked shopping and Yugyeom was at his best when he was outside whether it was the cramped backyard or the wide expanse of the beach he didn’t seem to mind, as long as there was space for him to run wild.

 

But Youngjae was his cooking mate for life.

 

All Jinyoung had to do was pass him something, say where it went and he was off, then back again to repeat the process. Jinyoung had him whisking oil, water and brownie mix in a large bowl he got some splattered over the table that had just been wiped down but Jinyoung found the concentration on his face while he stirred so cute he couldn’t bring himself to tell Youngjae to slow down. Before they added the eggs Jinyoung scooped out a nice amount for Youngjae to taste.

 

“Chocolately.” He smiled.

 

Jinyoung wound up rubbing some off his cheeks as well because Youngjae couldn’t seem to ever keep them clean.

 

Yugyeom and Bambam had finished their task early and were sat on the floor watching a movie with Jaebum dividing his attention between them and organizing the photo albums.

 

The clock had just barely slipped past one but Jinyoung felt his energy draining by the second looking at the laid out casually on the floor, completely absorbed in the television.

 

“Now once I add the eggs you can’t have anymore until they’re done okay?”

 

“One more?” he asked with that voice Jinyoung struggled to deny but if he broke down this time he’d start himself on a habit.

 

“Just a little longer.”

 

“Do the pictures of the kids go before or after your graduation?” Jaebum called.

 

“Jackson’s go before, Bambam’s go after.”

 

Jinyoung gave the mixture one last stir then poured it in the pan Youngjae had expertly buttered then it was in the oven for forty minutes. As soon as the oven door closed Youngjae started the timer, he bought his hands together under his chin staring at the dial tick.

 

“I’m gonna check on Jackson he’s probably called the police for child abuse again.”

 

“That’s not even funny I almost got arrested.” Jaebum said, though he couldn’t completely hide his smile.

 

Downstairs Jackson was spread out on his bed tapping out the beat to a song coming through his headphones.

 

Jinyoung gazed around the room, checking for signs of improvement.

 

His clothes were still haphazardly thrown on hangers, shoes kicked into the bottom of the closet in no order whatsoever, his desk covered in a splattering of papers. But the floor was vacuumed and that god forsaken sock was off the window sill.

 

“You’re too young to be angsting in here.”

 

Jackson sighed dramatically, he tossed his headphones into the pillows and sat up, “My back hurts.”

 

“Should have thought about that before you let this place get so messy.” Jinyoung pointed to pile of laundry peaking out from underneath the bed. “And don’t think you’re even close to getting off the hook yet.”

 

“You’re cruel.” He flopped back down with an ‘oof’

 

“Oh I’m the cruel one, how do you think Mark feels sleeping in this pig sty.”

 

“I don’t know. He’s been so weird today.”

 

Jinyoung moved to sit on the edge of the bed, “How so?”

 

“Well last night he didn’t want to play games and he didn’t argue for the bed then at the table he kept avoiding me and when I wanted to help clean he was like,” Jackson raised his voice an octave, “Leave me alone.”

 

“Did you have a fight?”

 

Arguments had become regular between the two of them for a while. As the oldest Mark was always in charge and Jackson complained about it no end.

 

But when he shook his head Jinyoung was left confused once again, “I think everybody might be a little off today.”

 

“You’re still getting married?”

 

“Yep.”

 

“What if he starts to be like that all the time…would that still make him my…my brother?”

 

Jinyoung nodded moving to pull Jackson closer so his head rested on Jinyoung’s thigh. “You guys fought when you were friends, you’ll probably still fight when you’re family.”

 

“But I like Mark, I don’t want to fight with him.”

 

“Don’t worry about it too much kid, you’ll make up. You always do.”

 

Jackson turned to look up at Jinyoung before asking timidly, “Does that make my mom his too?”

 

“Nope,” Jinyoung gave him a kiss on the forehead that he didn’t wipe off for the first time in years, “Mom is just for you and Bam.”

 

“Okay.”

 

“Now come on, clean this closet up. I want everything on one side.”

 

Jackson groaned, “But I just worked so  _hard_.”

 

“Since when did I teach you to be so lazy? You’re insulting my parenting skills.”

 

“This is cruel and unusual punishment.” Jackson whined, turning to bury his face in the mattress.

 

“Oh I’ll show you cruel and unusual.” Jinyoung went straight for the almighty kiss attack ignoring all of Jackson’s protests in favor of ruffling his hair and laying wet ones on his cheeks.

* * *

 

The day seemed to pass slowly after that.

 

Jinyoung left the brownies out to cool while he went to check on Mark who’d been even more quiet than usual and found him very carefully folding sheets and replacing them in the linen closet. Jinyoung would’ve bought up what happened last night while he had him alone but sometimes kids just had to figure out their own problems and Jinyoung had learned while Jackson opened up with a simple question, Mark just seemed to shrink into himself.

 

When he went back down to cut the brownies into squares there was a nice finger sized dent and a six year old with crumbs on his lip claiming he had no idea what happened but Jinyoung just shook his head and gave him a piece to snack on regardless.

 

He stretched out over the couch half paying attention to the movie playing half listening to Jackson grumble and complain downstairs.

 

Jaebum was still doing a bit of dusting but mostly he seemed to be interested in the pictures Jinyoung had sitting on the coffee table. It was a nice mixture of school photos and cast pictures but there were a few that Jinyoung had held onto from when he and Jaebum were semi dating in college and Jaebum gave him a nicely sized stack of photos he had taken for a class.

 

Most of them ended up being burned to a crisp when they broke up but the few that remained were yellowed around the edges and Jinyoung never seemed to be able to throw them away, so there they sat proudly among a picture of Bambam’s pre-k graduation and Jackson’s first fencing lesson.

 

Jinyoung gave Jaebum a flick to the back of his head, “Stop staring.”

 

“I just can’t believe you kept these.”

 

“Did you not say I could have them.”

 

“I just thought…” he looked down then shook his head quickly.

 

“You know I didn’t get a kiss this morning.”

 

“Liar.”

 

“Okay how about I didn’t get a proper kiss this morning.”

 

Youngjae somehow managed to wedge his way between the two of them looking up to Jaebum with his lips puckered.

 

Jaebum wasted no time in obliging him with a kiss to his forehead.

 

“Hey where’s mine.” Yugyeom got to his feet hanging off Jaebum’s shoulder.

 

Jaebum just groaned falling back on to the floor, “Look what you started.”

 

Jinyoung reached over him and grab Bambam ignoring the complaint, “Why don’t you want a kiss?”

 

“That’s for babies.” Bambam said without looking back, moving closer to the tv screen and out of Jinyoung’s touch.

 

Yugyeom jumped up suddenly, detaching himself from his victim, “Yeah babies.” He walked back over to his spot on the floor sitting with his arms crossed.

 

Youngjae went next mumbling something about how he was definitely  _not_ a baby and going to play with the timer that had captured his interest for the last half hour.

 

Jinyoung and Jaebum shared a look that left them both pressing their lips together to hold back giggles.

 >>>

 

Over the years Mark had spent so many nights over Jinyoung’s house that he began to consider it his second home.

 

He had his winter clothes stuffed in a storage bin at the bottom of Jackson’s closet and his own box of cereal on top of the fridge that had his name written on it in black sharpie. He even had his skateboard in the garage along with his snowboard and a few other things he could reliably count on being there when he got around to using them.

 

There was a roll of blankets and pillows Jackson had in a vacuum sealed bag under his bed that Mark used whenever the younger was being extra difficult and decided to take up the whole bed. They traded clothes and grabbed socks from the giant tub full Jinyoung had sitting in the living room and ran off to the bus stop together.

 

But for some reason Mark found himself with his arms around his ankles pressed up against the wall while Jackson snored and mumbled gibberish in his sleep.

 

Jackson had made every effort to share the bed or sleep on the floor himself but Mark just wanted to go home. Yeah Jackson had a drawer full of clothes in his room and baby pictures all over the walls but it was still  _his_ house.

 

The bed was still his and it didn’t smell like axe. There were boxes and boxes full of things he had been supposedly unpacking since he moved out of his grandmother’s house years ago. There were his pictures on the coffee table and all his favorite shows on the DVR.

 

It wasn’t that Jinyoung’s house was foreign, it just wasn’t his.

 

Mark found himself getting off the floor and walking out into the hall where the washer was still going, a load of school clothes that Jinyoung had put in and asked Mark to please look after if he was awake long enough.

 

Mark didn’t think he had much of a choice being that he had school tomorrow and if he didn’t wear his uniform he’d be getting a call home and not one but two angry dads on his tail.

 

He noted the cycle had a few more minutes left then went upstairs to find Jaebum sitting at the kitchen table with his laptop and a brownie. Jaebum looked over his glasses then behind himself at the stove clock and back over to Mark.

 

“Couldn’t sleep?”

 

He shook his head.

 

“Did you want to help me work on this script?”

 

He nodded going over to sit right next to his dad, there was just something about his scent that made Mark feel better. He breathed in deeply.

 

“Did Jackson kick you off the bed again?”

 

“No.”

 

“Hm.”

 

Mark took a piece of brownie taking a few bites while he read over the script.

 

The scene was about a group of friends arguing over who should pay for karaoke and Jaebum seemed stuck on who should be the winner of a deciding game of rock paper scissors.

 

“Is Jinyoung nice to you?”

 

Jaebum gave him a little smile, “Yep.”

 

“Then why aren’t you sleeping?”

 

“I couldn’t fall asleep, who do you think you got it from?”

 

Mark shrugged. “But it’s not because Jinyoung is mean to you?”

 

“No, he’s very nice to me.”

 

“But what if he’s not?”

 

Jaebum rubbed his eyes over his glasses letting out a long sigh, “We had this conversation already.”

 

“…I know.”

 

“But?”

 

“But what if it’s different now? What if he was nice before because he had to be but now he’s not and everything will get bad again.”

 

“Should I make an appointment with Doctor Kim?”

 

“No.” Mark said, a little too quickly. Doctor Kim was nice and all but he had a son Mark’s age that always looked at Mark like he knew something he shouldn’t.

 

“Okay.” Jaebum said slowly, “Have you been doing your breathing exercises.”

 

“Yes. I just…I was just asking it’s not that big of a deal.” He crossed his arms turning away slightly.

 

“Mhm.”

 

“It was. Why do you have to take things so seriously all the time.” Mark ate the last of his brownie standing up to lift his chair then set it back down under the table, careful to leave no streaks on the floor. He stomped off toward the stairs, huffing.

 

Before he got far though Jaebum was clearing his throat and tapping his foot. “You forgot something.”

 

Mark grumbled but went back to give him a kiss on the cheek, “Goodnight.”

 

* * *

 

The next morning was business as usual.

 

Fight with Jackson over who got to shower first.

 

Mark winning because he was older.

 

Calling out bye and waking up the rest of the house when he slammed the door.

 

Then on the bus all the way in the back seat.

 

Mark wasted no time in making himself seem as unapproachable as possible though Jackson sat next to him regardless, which wasn’t out of the ordinary but with Hoseok sitting in front of them without his brother, Mark fully expected Jackson to abandon him.

 

Hoseok peered over the top of his seat smiling so bright Mark wished he had sunglasses, “I found the best game of all time.”

 

“Okay elaborate.” Jackson said giving Mark a nudge just to see if he was paying attention.

 

“It’s called…grand theft auto.” He ducked behind the seat but popped up a second later with the case that he passed over to Jackson. “It’s so fun.”

 

“No way my dad would never let me play this, it’s rated M.” he passed the box over to Mark.

 

“Jin said no, but my other dad said I could.”

 

There was a picture of bikini clad woman, big muscled guys with guns and fancy cars. Mark bit his lip wondering if it was worth bringing it up to his own father. “Maybe my dad will let us play it?”

 

Jackson shook his head, “Even if he does, if mine catches us we’re dead.”

 

“So then don’t let him catch us.”

 

“Right like that’s so easy.”

 

Hoseok returned the game to his backpack, “Just come over my house, I got Joon’s schedule memorized. Plus he took Yoongi somewhere so he’ll be extra late.”

 

It was Mark’s turn to shake his head then, “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

 

“Why?” Jackson asked as the bus stopped and there was a halt in conversation as they all unloaded.

 

Hoseok seemed to have even more energy once the sun hit his face and he was practically vibrating with excitement, “You really don’t want to miss this.” He bought his voice down to a whisper, “There’s strippers in it.”

 

Jackson grabbed him by the shoulders, “You’re kidding.”

 

“Nope, tops only though.”

 

“Come on Mark, we’ve been over there a bunch of times we won’t get in trouble?”

 

“Just drop it.” He walked up a few feet ahead feeling his face heat up.

 

Jackson caught up to him quickly, doing his best to keep up with Mark’s brisk pace, “What’s up with you?”

 

“Nothing. Leave me alone.”

 

“Who are you trying to fool you’ve been weird since yesterday.”

 

“I said it was nothing.”

 

“It’s clearly not nothing.” Jackson stopped planting his hands firmly on Mark’s shoulders to keep him in place, “Is it about-“

 

“It’s nothing like I just said so leave me alone.” Mark could tell his anger was rising but felt himself losing the fight to keep it down.

 

“You don’t mean that.”

 

“Yes. I do. So get the hell away from me.” He shoved Jackson so hard the younger ended up falling into the lockers behind him and drawing a few sets of eyes. “Don’t follow me.” He stormed off leaving a trail of stunned faces in his wake.

>>>

 

As soon as the house shook with Mark’s departure Youngjae started screaming and Jinyoung groaned snaking out from underneath Jaebum to go check on him.

 

Youngjae held his hands over his ears squeezing his eyes shut so tight Jinyoung thought they might rip, he gave Youngjae a kiss on the forehead sitting at the end of his bed. “It’s okay, it was just a noise.”

 

Youngjae slowly bought his hands down listening to be sure and only when he was absolutely certain there would be no more slamming doors he went to sit in Jinyoung’s lap wrapping his arms around his middle. “I hate loud.”

 

“You hate loud what?”

 

He squinted trying to think of the word. “Things?”

 

“No, c’mon Youngjae you know this one. It starts with an S.”

 

Youngjae jumped up, the hint being all he needed, “Sounds. I hate loud sounds.”

 

“That’s right you do, but it helps me get you out of bed.”

 

He whined going back under the covers, “Sleep more.”

 

Jinyoung decided fighting with a nine year old was not his top priority that morning so instead he went to check on the younger two. When he went to wake them though they were both already up playing with action figures.

 

“Oh no we have to save the lady.” Yugyeom said with a policeman that had all the paint wiped off his face, leaving a yellow shell of pupil-less eyes.

 

“I can do it. I’m super strong.” Bambam dropped his voice as low as possible. He bought out a figure with bulging muscles and oversized hands.

 

Jinyoung wanted to let himself get caught up in the pair but he had to get everyone ready before Jaebum got up so all he’d have to do is drive them all to school. “Wanna know who’s stronger?”

 

Bambam shook his head, “I’m the strongest person ever.” He attempted flexing his muscles but his face crinkled up in such a cute expression Jinyoung just had to scoop him up and give him a quick kiss attack.

 

“You. Are. So. Cute.”

 

Yugyeom ran over to tug on his pant leg, “I want kisses too.”

 

Jinyoung let Bambam down to give Yugyeom a few pecks to his forehead, “Happy?”

 

He shook his head, “One here too.” He pointed to his lips.

 

Jinyoung gave in easily, “Want to do something really exciting?”

 

“No. I just want to play.” Bambam said.

 

“You can play later, now is bath time.”

 

Yugyeom clapped feverishly, “That means I can go to school and be with my friends.”

 

Bambam grumbled, “Can I take a bath by myself. Only babies have bath time.”

 

Jinyoung sighed. Of course Bambam was well within his right to grow up and stop wanting to share his baths with two other people but it’d be so much easier to get it out of the way in one go rather than two…or three if Yugyeom said what Jinyoung dreaded he would say next.

 

“Yeah. I’m not a baby either.” Yugyeom wiggled until he was put down mirroring Bambam’s crossed arm pose.

 

“Why do you two want to fight with me today?”

 

Once Jinyoung had the boys eating microwave pancakes and sliced apples that he may or may not have cut his finger making. He went back upstairs to wake Jaebum but found him already up watching the news with his glasses on but still puffy faced.

 

“When did I get a sixth kid?”

 

“I didn’t wake up to be sassed thank you.”

 

Jinyoung rolled his eyes going sit on Jaebum’s lap, blocking out the view of the tv. “I didn’t get a kiss.”

 

“I have morning breath.”

 

“Like that ever stopped you before.” He poked out his lip leaning forward to rest his chin on his fiancé’s chest. “Please?”

 

Jaebum groaned but gave him a gentle touch, nothing more than pressure and breath. “Happy?”

 

“No I definitely need another.”Jaebum sighed in a way that said he was more annoyed at Jinyoung’s shameless attempt at pulling out his softer side so early in the morning rather than the actual kissing part. It left Jinyoung smiling up at him, flooded with fondness.  “We’re really getting married?”

 

“It seems we are.” He held up his left hand to show off the gold band on his ring finger.

 

Jinyoung looked down at his own matching band though his had a section of little white diamonds, “I can’t get over it yet. New rule, remind me every morning I’m marrying the same guy that cheated on me at least thirty times-“

 

“That was in high school-“

 

“And college.”

 

“Fair.”

 

“Crashed my parents car in a Domino’s.”

 

“That was not my fault it was dark.”

 

“Headlights.”

 

“Fair.”

 

“Stole my first kiss.”

 

“You said-“

 

“Jaebum.”

 

“Okay fair, what are you getting at? I know I’ve been kind of awful to you in the past.”

 

“Kind of?”

 

“You know what.” He leaned forward to pin Jinyoung against the mattress, he bought Jinyoung’s wrists together above his head in a hold just loose enough so that he could still slip out if he wanted to. Jaebum ducked down to give him a real kiss. One where Jinyoung’s lips were between his and he could taste the apple left on his tongue from the few bites he had taken earlier.

 

When they broke apart Jinyoung let out a little grumble at the loss of contact, “No, come back.” He pulled his wrist free, yanking Jaebum back down for another kiss. That one lasting a second shorter than the one previous when Jaebum broke apart to say,

 

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry for all the stupid things I did before. I forgot to appreciate you then but…” he gave Jinyoung yet another kiss between the eyebrows, “I won’t make that mistake again.”

 

“You better not.” Two quick kisses to his bottom lip, “Pabo.”

 

They separated grudgingly when the boys started getting louder downstairs and Jinyoung heard the dishes clattering. “Why do we have to be dads today?”

 

Jaebum tugged him along in response. All the way down the stairs where Yugyeom and Bambam were hitting the table to see how loud a sound they could make and Youngjae was poking holes in his pancake with the handle of his fork.

 

While Jaebum went to give his good mornings, Jinyoung gathered backpacks and checked to make sure notebooks and pencils were in order then hook the straps around shoulders when one by one the kids filed out.

 

Bambam got the Captain America themed one, Yugyeom got Mark’s old spiderman backpack and Youngjae’s was a bright green hulk design that nearly dwarfed him with its size. Jaebum got a smile and,

 

“Drive like you have someone to come home to.”

 

“Don’t I always.”

>>>

As a child Jaebum had always assumed he would be a singer.

 

Someone that captivated audiences with a smooth voice and over the top visuals. His face would be on magazines and the walls of teenage girls everywhere and he’d travel the world like all the cool celebrities he saw on tv.

 

That dream died tragically around the same time his parents gave him his first camera for Christmas one year.

 

It was a hand-me-down from his grandfather and chipped in so many places Jaebum thought it wouldn’t be good for anything other than collecting dust. For the first month he had the hunk of plastic, it sat untouched in the hastily torn cardboard box it came in. But then Jinyoung got a hold of the thing when he was going through his vintage phase and while Jinyoung got tired of it after a week, Jaebum kind of just started taking pictures of everything.

 

Of his room when it was dark so the laces on his sneakers would glow, of the backyard in the winter covered in a thick layer of snow, of his friends trying to sneakily eat tater tots in class.

 

Of Jinyoung.

 

He wished he hadn’t chucked the old thing in the lake not far from his house in a fit of rage. There were pictures of his then best friend eating one of those giant carnival lollipops, next to the monkey exhibit from the class field trip they took to the zoo in third grade, trying and failing to straighten his hair with hot pink flat irons he borrowed from his sister.

 

Though Jaebum realized he couldn’t have a full career of his hobby alone he took a few classes in college and wound up doing wedding photography for easy money, photography turned into videography that turned into filming university plays that turned into directing them and eventually writing. Jaebum was still working his way up that ladder but,

 

“Okay everybody from the top.”

 

He was enjoying the ride.

 

The lead was a broad-shouldered man with bright pink hair and long limbs named Jin, he stepped out onto the stage that had remained dark save for a lone spotlight following him across the expanse. He held something tight to his chest, running quickly across the area, checking over his shoulder.

 

An imposing figure appeared before him out of the darkness in a baseball cap that obscured his face. “Do you want to know who you are?”

 

Jin’s eyes went wide as dish bowls, “Wh-who I am?”

 

“Follow me.” The man walked off stage left.

 

Jin seemed to be in a struggle between going back the way he came and going after the mysterious man. He inched backward but something off in the wings made him sprint off after the unknown.

 

Jaebum nodded waiting for the set to change over, they switched to a suburban setting. It was supposed to be outside but they hadn’t finished painting anything other than a simple grass shade in the background.

 

Jin walked out once again, before he got far Jaebum was calling out cut and the cast collectively groaned from behind the curtains.

 

“What is it now?” he complained.

 

Jaebum hopped up onto the stage pointing to one of the red x’s marked on the floor, “You come out, stop here, say your line then Seungcheol does his piece.” He beckoned the latter over, “And I don’t know if it’s just this hat or if the actual prop hat is gonna do this, but I could see the bill sticking out when you walked off so,” he flipped the cap backwards, “Be mindful of that.”

 

“Sir yes sir.”

 

“Cool, run it again.”

 

“Can we do lunch first? I’m starving.” Jin questioned.

 

“You were eating nature valley’s the entire time backstage are you kidding me?” Ken walked out carrying an empty box of the aforementioned snack, “These were supposed to last a week.”

 

Jin shamelessly went down to the auditorium to grab his backpack from one of the seats, “I’m stress eating okay, you know today’s the day Yoongi is getting his tonsils removed.”

 

“Tough.” Seongcheol dropped down to sit beside him, “I remember when Soonyoung got his taken out.”

 

As the conversation continued Jaebum just sighed, “Okay I guess we’re on lunch.”

 

A few others grumbled but it was mostly cheers as lunch bags were unzipped and a small group departed to pick up McDonald’s.

 

Jaebum couldn’t help his eyes from flickering over to the dark-haired man that had joined Seongcheol and Jin eating cold ramen.

 

Jinyoung nodded along with the conversation though Jaebum could tell he knew someone was watching by the lift in his ear and the way he rolled his ring around his finger. Almost like a warning sign.

 

Jaebum had his own container of cold noodles waiting for him but he decided it was a good time to talk to Sungjae about whether he’d be needing an understudy since he had a few other shows he was working on simultaneously.

 

Plus, there was only so long he could be so close to Jinyoung without wanting to be right up next to him and making everyone uncomfortable. If they couldn’t have cuddle time with their significant others during work hours, it was only fair he shouldn’t either.

 

“Hey director.” Seongcheol called abandoning his lunch. “Can I talk to you about something.”

 

Jaebum sat on the stage apron patting the spot beside him.

 

“Not…not here, it’s kinda private.”

 

Jinyoung looked up abruptly but shook his head just as fast and went back to chattering with Jin.

 

“Okay…what’s it about though?”

 

“It’s really private.”

 

Jaebum caught Jinyoung’s twitch, “You can’t tell me anything general about it?”

 

“Uh well…you know Jeonghan hasn’t been feeling well recently.”

 

“Mhm, made you miss two rehearsals.”

 

“Right, but we recently found out why and he’s been a bit worried about that reason.”

 

“I’m so confused.”

 

Jin huffed loudly, “You guys are pregnant again?”

 

“Dammit.” Seongcheol darkened noticeably.

 

“No way is this number eight?” Ken asked.

 

“Eight? Pfft, I bet it’s twins.” Jin said.

 

Seongcheol just sighed, “Yeah he’s pregnant, and he’s worried I’ll be so busy with the play I won’t be able to help him with the kids and the…twins.”

 

“I knew it.”

 

Jaebum tried not to smile. He had a bet going on with Jinyoung that Seongcheol would end up with another kid by the end of the play and Jinyoung had been adamant that he wouldn’t be so careless during crunch time.

 

Someone owed him a backrub.

 

“We can talk about this later, I don’t know if I can find anyone to cover for you if you don’t know when you’ll be in or out.”

 

Seongcheol nodded slowly, “Yeah, sorry to just spring it on you like this.”

 

“Oh don’t worry.” Jaebum got to his feet, “I think we all saw it coming.”

>>>

Youngjae usually liked school lunch.

 

Everything was all plastic and styrofoam and the portion sizes were always a bit larger than Youngjae could finish, but it was nice to sit with his brother and sometimes Bambam if the first graders stuck around long enough. They would eat what Youngjae couldn’t finish and sneak in those cool little race cars that zoomed across the table if you rolled them back far enough.

 

That day in particular neither the kindergarteners nor the first graders had been around for the later lunch periods so it was just Youngjae’s class and the fifth graders.

 

Their chaperone had stepped out to have her own lunch and left the small group in the care of the lunch attendant but even he was too busy stopping a potential fight and checking bathroom passes. While the rest of the room chattered happily, Youngjae chewed his bottom lip and hummed so he wouldn’t have to hear the flurry of words being thrown at him by his classmate.

 

“That’s not how you hold a fork you’re so dumb.” The girl took his utensil and tossed it to the floor crushing it with her sandal, “Now you can just use your hands.”

 

Youngjae hummed louder, he hadn’t planned on eating much with her around. She said he ate so much like a pig he might as well turn into one so her parents could chop him up and turn him to bacon. Youngjae couldn’t figure out why hearing those things made him feel like pushing his food away, why it made his chest feel tight and his eyes water.

 

Jaebum had constantly told Youngjae it wasn’t his fault his body didn’t listen to him and that he shouldn’t be so hard on himself but every time he tried to take a bite of something it was like invisible strings yanking his hands and mouth in opposite directions. Like no matter how hard he concentrated, things wouldn’t go where they were supposed to.

 

He tried telling Hana that, he tried explaining to her all the things Jaebum had explained to him even though he didn’t fully understand he knew some things just weren’t his fault and he’d have to work hard to correct them.

 

Only, Hana hadn’t changed one bit. She still told Youngjae he was stupid for forgetting so many words when he spoke, that he talked to much about things nobody cared about and all the moles splattered over his skin looked like dead ants. 

 

Jaebum had told him his moles were just little bits of sugar god forgot to mix in but when Youngjae told Hana that she just laughed in his face because, ‘You’re such a loser, you believe everything your dad says’

 

He drank his milk quietly even avoiding Taehyung when they caught each other’s eyes across the table.

 

Once he finished, Youngjae collected his leftovers getting up to dump them in the trashcan but just before he took his first step he went crashing to the ground and all the macaroni and cheese he hadn’t eaten was splattered over his bright red t-shirt.

 

Youngjae had thought it was just his body being useless again but when he looked up there was Hana pointing and laughing saying ‘oops’ and tucking her shoe under the bench.

 

“That was mean.” He said.

 

“What’re you gonna do? Tell your daddy?” She casually opened the spout of her apple juice and poured it all over the lap of Youngjae’s shorts, “If you tell, I’ll make my dad beat your dad up then you won’t be able to tell anybody.”

 

Youngjae quieted. He thought for a long time, Jaebum was the best and no one could hurt him. He let Youngjae sit on his shoulders and gave the best tickles. He was big and strong and Youngjae could depend on him.

 

He thought that for so long…but it wasn’t true.

 

Not entirely.

 

So, Youngjae wiped off as much as he could with the little napkin that came with his fork, gathered his fallen tray and walked it over to the garbage.

>>>

Jackson had planned on going home with Mark to see if he’d cooled down from his outburst earlier. The prospect of running down virtual pedestrians and eating Doritos with Hoseok was attractive. But Jackson couldn’t seem to concentrate all day in his classes, he even zoned out completely in math and would probably be stuck to his textbook all night. There was no way he’d be able to keep up with Hoseok.

 

Jackson ended up walking down to the theatre to see if Jinyoung hadn’t left yet and maybe they could pick up the little ones and have some alone time to talk.

 

He expected most of the other actors to be gone when he got in, rehearsals ended an hour or so before school let out. Jackson had always assumed it was because Jinyoung just needed extra help or something like tutoring. He didn’t fully understand why until he dropped the engagement bomb. It made Jackson have seconds thoughts about going over since he really couldn’t stomach it if he saw his dad kissing Jb.

 

But when he walked in, there was still a full house and they were all sat in a circle on stage playing some kind of hand game. When Jackson noticed Jinyoung absent among the group he sighed and went to sit next to Jaebum completely absorbed in a stack of papers that might have been the script or the cure to cancer for all Jackson cared.

 

He threw himself in the fold up chair sighing loudly.

 

Jaebum remained focused on his work, mumbling something about dinner plans to himself.

 

Jackson breathed in deeply then sighed even louder his breath causing a few papers to blow across the table.

 

“He’s not here. He went to pick up the boys.” Jaebum said reaching out to return order to his controlled chaos. “Or did you want something else?”

 

“I had a bad day at school.”

 

“Why is that?” he looked down at Jackson curiously, his previous work forgotten.

 

Jackson squirmed under the look. He talked to Jaebum often enough, it was almost tradition for Jackson to roll out of bed late at night in search of the bathroom and find Jaebum deep in his work. Jackson would abandon his previous mission entirely, sitting next to the director and talking about anything and everything until he fell asleep on his shoulder and woke up the next morning tucked snuggly into bed.

 

Sometimes Jackson helped Jb write songs or drew on his arm with the cool multicolor pen he stole from someone in his geometry class. Sometimes Mark would be there and they’d make up rap songs or shake the kitchen trying out some of the martial arts moves they were learning. Meanwhile, Jb would look up and smile or tell them to be a little quieter.

 

He couldn’t figure out why talking to Jb then was any different. But he looked down at his hands and tugged at one of the little earrings he had recently began wearing.

 

“I think I’m being bullied.”

 

“By who?”

 

“…will you get mad?”

 

Jaebum furrowed his brows, “Why would I be mad if someone was bullying you?”

 

“Because you like them better than me.”

 

“It’s Mark isn’t it.” He sighed.

 

Jackson continued destroying his jeans.

 

“I do not like Mark more than you, I don’t know where you got that from.”

 

“But he’s your son and I’m…not.”

 

“Not yet.”

 

Jackson stole a glance up at him. The corner of his mouth was pulled upward and his eyes were soft around the edges instead of their usual sharp borders. “Do you want me to be your son? Or do you just have to because you like my dad.”

 

Jaebum chuckled, “Yeah I like your dad. But you and Bambam are another bonus, in fact I don’t think I’d be marrying him if it wasn’t for you two.”

 

“Really?” Jackson scooted closer until he was right up under Jaebum’s nose.

 

“Mhm. He’s too naggy.”

 

“And serious.” Jackson set his lips in a line, “Did you do your homework?”

 

To his surprise Jaebum joined in with him, “Did you clean the dishes?”

 

“Did you turn off the fan before you went to bed?”

 

“Did you eat the last of the ramen.”

 

“And for the love of god-“

 

“Would you please-“

 

“Cover your mouth.” They said together, erupting in a fit of laughter so loud the cast halted their game to fix the pair with a curious look.

 

Jin jumped down to the hardwood, tapping his foot to get their attention.

 

Jackson wasted no time in throwing his arms around the man squeezing so tight Jin looked to Jaebum for help detaching the preteen from him. “Hello to you too.”

 

“Is Joon here?” Jackson bounced on his heels, peaking over Jin’s shoulder.

 

Jin shook his head with a smile, “Not for a while. What you don’t miss your Uncle Jinnie?”

 

“I do but I miss Joon more.”

 

“I’ll let him know you were looking out for him okay?”

 

Jackson nodded, forgetting about what he had been discussing with Jb to accompany Jin on stage. He joined in on the ice breaker game sat between Seongcheol and Ken basking in the attention they smothered him in.

 

All in all the day had been pretty great.

>>>

 

Jinyoung watched Youngjae quietly slurp ramen from his bowl, a pair of Mickey Mouse Ears on each handle of his chopsticks.

 

Jinyoung left rehearsal early to pick the kids up from school after Youngjae had an accident at lunch and the spare pants in his backpack were too large. Instead of leaving Jaebum to pick up the younger two Jinyoung decided it was their lucky day and let them off early in the backyard to run themselves into exhaustion. Maybe just end the day with homework and dinner if Jackson got back in time.

 

When the drama king of the house was absent upon Jinyoung’s arrival he thought the preteen was visiting Hoseok from what Mark told him before he disappeared in the basement and awful rap music started vibrating through the floorboards. But then Jaebum texted him that they were stopping for groceries and Jinyoung wiped imaginary sweat off his forehead because Jackson and Hoseok alone in a house was a recipe for trouble.

 

That left Jinyoung one less thing to worry about and as Youngjae pushed his still half full bowl away he was ever thankful for the little breaks he was provided.

 

“Are you ready to talk now?” Jinyoung dabbed at the drops of broth that didn’t make it into Younjae’s mouth with one of the wet wipes he kept stashed in his pocket for that exact cause.

 

“It was an accident. I’m sorry.” He swung his legs back and forth avoiding eye contact completely, save for a peak out the corner of his eye when he thought Jinyoung wasn’t looking.

 

“If you have to go to the bathroom and there’s nobody around for you to ask, just get up and go. We talked about this Youngjae.”

 

“I know.”

 

When the four of them got home Yugyeom and Bambam tossed their backpacks on the couch and ran straight for the minivac while the usually exuberant Youngjae dragged himself to the kitchen table. Jinyoung thought he might have needed a little snack before he was ready to open up, and while he wasn’t Jaebum who could probably make something decent with the limited amount of time before the house was full again. He was still a dad and ramen was still ready in four minutes or less in the microwave.

 

“Then why didn’t you go?”

 

“I don’t know.”

 

“If I can’t get off work early, no one can come bring you clean clothes and then you’ll be sticky for the rest of the day. Is that what you want?”

 

“No.”

 

“No what?”

 

“No, not what I want.”

 

There was more to the story, Jinyoung could tell. Youngjae never lied, Jinyoung wasn’t sure he even understood the concept of lying. But Youngjae had always been one to answer a question bluntly and if Jinyoung didn’t know what to ask he would never get down to the bottom of things.

 

He heard the car door slam outside and decided to let Jaebum handle the rest, they both had a habit of not being very upfront about their emotions.

 

All the Im boys did actually.

 

“I want you to go to your room and wait for your dad to come talk to you okay?”

 

“In trouble.” His eyes grew two sizes and the tip of his nose was reddening.

 

Jinyoung had to physically restrain himself from giving it a kiss and saying all was forgiven, “You’re not in trouble, I just think you should have some to think. Do you understand Youngjae? I’m not angry with you.”

 

He slid out of his chair going to give Jinyoung a kiss on the cheek before heading to the stairs.

 

Just as one door closed another one opened and there was Jackson carrying so many grocery bags he could barely walk, he would’ve knocked right into Jinyoung’s lamp if it wasn’t for Jaebum behind him holding him steady.

 

“We got lunchables.” He cheered, shuffling in with two bags full of the little packages. “And chocolate.”

 

“That’s what he wanted.” Jaebum held his hands up in defense ducking out of Jinyoung’s reach before he could get a well deserved pluck to the back of the neck.

 

“And you just bought it. Did you seriously get talked into stocking my refrigerator full of lunchables, by and eleven year old?”

 

“Um…yes?”

 

Jinyoung breathed in deeply, there were more pressing matters to attend to than his fiancé’s inability to discipline his son.

 

He helped Jackson put away all the groceries save for the only real food that managed to make it in. Chicken and vegetables that Jaebum thought he would use for stir fry.

 

As he got the cutting board out and a suitable pan, Bambam ran in with Yugyeom close behind. They slammed the door shut and ran straight up the stairs tracking dirt all over the carpet. It reminded Jinyoung there was another little one patiently waiting for his talking to and Jinyoung thought it was best to get it over with before homework time.

 

“Hyung.” he sang knowing the phrase would gather Jaebum's attention quickly, “Do you think you could go talk to Youngjae?”

 

“Oooh what’d he do?” Jackson came up behind him already chowing down on a snickers bar and spoiling his dinner.

 

“None of your business rascal.”

 

“Yeah I think I know what this is about, finish chopping for me?”

 

“You’re gonna let him chop? He might burn it.”

 

“Jackson Wang Park you have three seconds to get out of my sight before I send you to live with the dogs.”

 

“That’s not fair.” He whined.

 

“1.”

 

“But I didn’t-“

 

“2.”

 

“It was just a-“

 

“3.”

 

And he was gone.

* * *

 

 

The day ended the same way it started, except instead of sending kids off with backpacks it was with kisses.

 

Youngjae especially.

 

Jinyoung could tell he was still feeling guilty after being reprimanded but being a dad wasn’t all about the fun things and as much as Jinyoung hated it sometimes he just had to be the bad guy.

 

After everyone was safely in bed, (or quietly playing videos games and sneaking lunchables to their room) Jinyoung crumbled under his blankets snuggling into the warm body beside him.

 

“Long day?” Jaebum was still scrolling through emails on his phone, but by the way he kept rubbing his eyes Jinyoung was sure he’d be out for the count soon enough.

 

“The longest. Did you know there was this guy trying to get my fiancé alone to ‘talk’,” he held up his fingers in a bunny ear positions, causing Jaebum’s lips to quirk upward. “Can you believe the nerve?”

 

“Maybe he just didn’t want to be teased for being fond of-“

 

“Not using condoms.”

 

“Jinyoung.”

 

“Did I say that out loud?” he bat his eyelashes when Jaebum trained him with a death stare.

 

It was no secret Jinyoung wasn’t completely over the past he shared with Jaebum. He didn’t think he ever would be, underneath all the jokes and teasing there was still hurt and Jaebum did his best to quell Jinyoung’s fear in whatever way he could.

 

Jinyoung was thankful he wasn’t being told to simply get over it and keep going, that Jaebum was finally listening to him. It cushioned the blow a little more every time he thought of all those people Jaebum had been with that weren’t him.

 

He seemed to sense the shift in mood and laid his phone on the bedside table to lean over and wrap Jinyoung up in his arms, “You know I love you right?”

 

“Nah, I don’t think so.”

 

“I do.”

 

“You’re not supposed to be saying that for another…three weeks is it?”

 

“Why do you do this to me.”

 

He chuckled giving the final kiss of the night to the same person who took the first one he ever gave, “Love you too.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These will be some longer end notes so feel free to skip, see you in the next chapter.
> 
> Otherwise, THANKS FOR READING I really don't think I can say this enough. Kudos and comments mean ALOT, like reading the comments is always uplifting because I get to see who's actually behind the numbers and it's a real kick in the butt to edit. But it still feels good to know people at least gave my story a shot even if they didn't like it.  
> I know I said the next chapter wouldn't be for a while but I got a particular comment on this story specifically that really made me want to try harder to finish this out a little quicker, I'm not 100% happy with it but I don't think I ever will be and if I kept staring at it I'd get too scared to post and end up deleting the whole thing.  
> I legit have no life so there definitely will not be months between uploads but it won't be every other day as I originally planned.
> 
> Sometimes I wish the internet hadn't ruined the innocence of the word 'daddy' I think it's so cute when kids say that but it felt weird when Youngjae did it.  
> I know there's a lot of kisses being given around this chapter but I'm sorry I couldn't help it.  
> As for Jeonghan being able to get pregnant he is still male through and through but I know people might take issue with that because Jeonghan is feminized a lot and I'm not trying to do that by any stretch I just didn't feel like having them use a surrogate because I feel like that would need to much explanation.  
> Maybe?  
> I don't know.  
> This is not an mpreg fic. Jeonghan just has the right equipment for the job, we'll say that. The rest of the kids were born the old fashioned way, just wanted to mix it up a bit. 
> 
>  
> 
> I wanted to keep this mostly pg because at its heart it's a family story but I slipped up a little this chapter so for anyone bothered by it, I'm really sorry but that's just what ended up happening.  
> And I know I mentioned it in one of the other parts (which are not very kid friendly if you catch my drift) that this is an american setting but the dads grew up in korean households so they have picked up quite a few words that they use from time to time. 
> 
>  
> 
> Minor spoiler here but...
> 
> Jinyoung and Jaebum do have a looooong past that I was thinking of doing a completely different story for not just putting it in the blended one shots, if that's something you'd like to see just let me know and I'll start working on it as soon as I finish up with this one.  
> I have also just finished writing the wedding scene and I was seconds away from getting diabetes, it was that bad.
> 
>  
> 
> Anyway I know this was a complete mess so I’m sorry I just couldn’t figure out how to organize what I wanted to say. I'm still working hard on edits and rewrites so please be patient with me. And don't forget to leave me some comments, they're really nice to wake up to.


	4. Work Together

Jinyoung shot upright clutching at his chest.

 

He felt the layer of sweat blanketing his body and heard his breaths coming out fast and haggard.

 

He blinked a few times so his eyes adjusted to the darkness able to make out the glare from the tv and the yellow glow from the bathroom out in the hallway. On his left side Jaebum snored loud as ever, completely oblivious to the waking world and the air conditioner was letting out a low hum that would’ve lulled Jinyoung back to sleep if wasn’t for the flash of white light that temporarily illuminated the rest of the room.

 

For a second, Jinyoung thought he saw a tall ghostly figure standing at the foot of the bed, long black hair hanging like a curtain in their eyes.

 

He blinked once more and there was just the dresser, one of the drawers still crooked from when Jaebum rooted through it in search of something to sleep in.

 

At the same time he heard the door open downstairs he heard the rain crashing into the window with such a force he wondered how he’d slept through so much of the storm already. He dropped his feet down to the floor thankful for the carpet that masked the sound of him tip toeing through the hallway to find Youngjae’s door open just enough for him to get a peak at the sleeping figure on the bed.

 

Youngjae had one pillow under his head and another held tight to his chest, there was a good amount of slobber running down the green case and Jinyoung sighed knowing it would be in need of a wash tomorrow on top of everything else he had to get ready. There were still toys and clothes laying out on the floor that Jinyoung had been trying to get him to clean up for the longest time, but between all the madness of moving out and moving in Jinyoung thought he’d let it slide a little longer as he backed out into the hall.

 

Next, he went to Bambam’s room where Yugyeom was absently patting around the bed for a body that wasn’t there. Jinyoung watched him a while to make sure he wouldn’t wake. But as the lightning struck and brightened the room showing off the picture frame Bambam kept on the window sill empty, Jinyoung thought he’d stalled long enough.

 

Downstairs the living room was just as they’d left it the night before, toys all over the couch, old DVD’s spread out over the coffee table. Shoes and backpacks thrown hastily in the closet. It smelled faintly of the kimchi stew Jaebum made for dinner the night before, the seven of them ate happily while watching a baking program that Jackson swore was ‘the best show since the history of everything’ and they all had to admit there was something about watching someone cry over curdled cake that was absolutely riveting.

 

Jinyoung yelped when he stepped on a lone race car on his way to the front door.

 

He turned the knob slowly jolting when a particularly loud clap of thunder sounded from what felt like right in his front yard. He stepped out onto the porch feeling the damp wood beneath his bare feet and the electric air making his fingers tingle.

 

On one side there were evergreens he had been trying to get rid of since he moved in, these big potted plants that died a long time ago, good for nothing other than collecting dust. And on the other there was a bench that held a quaking seven year old.

 

Jinyoung wasted no time scooping Bambam up and held the boy in his lap while the rain beat the roof of the porch and the storm continued to pass overhead. Bambam stuttered something too jumbled for him to make out, clinging to him for dear life.

 

Jinyoung didn’t say a word for a long time.

 

The only sound was rain, thunder and the occasional trash can that rolled down the street with the wind. If it were any of the other kids a few pats to the back and whispered reassurances would have been enough. Tell them it was just a storm and when it was gone there’d be rainbows, warm air and puddles to play in.

 

But it wasn’t any of the other kids,

 

It was Bambam.

 

Laid protectively against Jinyoung’s chest, even his long legs were tucked up against himself.  

 

He gazed down at the picture in his hands of a woman that looked much like him, same full lips and big eyes she smiled tiredly at the bundle in her arms and Jinyoung leaned in to rest his arm around her shoulder sharing an equally exhausted yet proud smile.

 

“Dad.” Bambam cried, his fingers bunched in Jinyoung’s shirt.

 

Jinyoung rubbed circles into his side, “Shh it's okay.” He rocked back and forth just enough so that the chair wouldn’t hit the wall. “It’s okay.”

 

“No, you’re gonna leave. You can’t leave, you have to stay.”

 

“I’m right here Bam, you’re okay just go to sleep for me.”

 

He shook his head, drawing impossibly closer. “You have to stay.”

 

“I will. I’ll be right here when you wake up.”

 

“No you won’t, you’ll leave. Please don’t leave me.”

 

His voice was so small, like he wasn’t trying to be the big kid he thought he had to be and the seven year old hidden underneath all that bravado was finally pushing their way out. He couldn’t seem to stop shaking, his muscles in a permanent contracted state.

 

Jinyoung did his best to calm him down but he knew when Bambam got like that there was only so much he could do other than let the kid ride it out.

 

“I’ll miss you if you leave, and Jackson will miss you and-and…and you have to stay here. Stay with me.”

 

“I’m not going anywhere. I promise.”

 

The rain kept falling but it lost most of its power and with it went the loud booms of thunder. Jinyoung hummed a song he remembered hearing so long ago he forgot most of the lyrics, breathing shallowly into Bambam’s hair.

 

_When I’m getting used to this meaningless day,_

 

_Just when I’m about to get tired,_

 

_I close my eyes and think of you,_

 

_I can feel my heart beating louder._

 

Bambam sniffed but for the most part his tears had dried up and all that was left where hiccups and whimpers. “You won’t leave me right?”

 

Jinyoung shook his head. “I’m right here sweetheart.”

 

The name always seemed to ease his nerves just a bit more and it was no different then as finally Bambam’s narrow shoulders relaxed against Jinyoung and his grip on the photo loosened so it was just barely between his thumb and forefinger.

 

The sun wouldn’t be up for a few hours. Jinyoung could still slide back into to bed and get some shut eye before it was time to start the day, he had a rehearsal scheduled and yet another fitting for his tux, not to mention the five little people that depended on him for just about everything. But the rain had died down to a drizzle and the night looked hazy through the after-storm mist.

 

“I’m right here.”

 

* * *

 

When morning finally came Jinyoung found himself sleeping on the couch with two kids instead of one since Jackson had somehow squeezed his way in, half his body dangling off the edge.

 

There was just barely enough light streaming in through the windows for Jinyoung to make out Jaebum’s hazy figure at the stove and Yugyeom laid out over the table with his head in his arms.

 

He sat up slowly with Bambam still curled up on his chest, swinging one leg over Jackson then the other so he was standing awkwardly in a ‘u’ shape before straightening then placed Bambam in the spot he formerly occupied, Jackson scooting closer until the pair were right beside each other and Jinyoung struggled not to run for his camera, it had been so long since he last saw the two of them sleeping so peacefully together.

 

Instead he gave them each a kiss on the forehead, Jackson tiredly batting at the air. Then went to check on Jaebum’s progress.

 

“You’re up early.” He said stopping to place a hand on Yugyeom’s sweaty forehead. It was a bit warmer than usual and the helpless whimper the boy let out was enough to have Jinyoung picking him up to rest on his shoulder.

 

“I thought I’d do breakfast today.” He scooped a pan full of eggs onto a plate with ham slices already on one side, “Toast?”

 

“You got it.” Jinyoung snatched up the loaf of bread one handed from the top of the refrigerator, throwing a few stale slices in the trash because for some reason no matter how many times he tied the bag, it always ended up getting left open to dry.

 

“You mind staying home with Yugyeom today? I think he’s coming down with something.” Jaebum asked. Though why, Jinyoung didn’t know. He couldn’t fathom going to work while Yugyeom struggled through a cold.

 

He nodded, wordlessly passing Yugyeom over when the six-year-old reached out for his dad and took over Jaebum’s former task while Jaebum went to buttering toast, giving Yugyeom a dry piece to nibble on.

 

“Don’t forget we’re going out with the Kims tomorrow night.”

 

Jaebum dropped a slice on each of the plates he had spread out on the counter, “I thought it was Jeonghan and Seungcheol?”

 

“Maybe both?”

 

They shared a shrug. They were still adjusting to having more married friends, neither one of them being too keen on making any new ones. But Jeonghan was nice enough when he wasn’t pregnant and moody and Jinyoung still couldn’t decide what to make of Seungcheol while he’d been friends with Jin since high school and Namjoon by default since he became friends with Jaebum.

 

Jin, being the most social of the six of them had been trying to get them all together for the longest but with so many kids between them there was barely a moment to breathe, let alone put in all the work to find a babysitter, pick a place everyone would like, Jinyoung’s ever present jealousy when Jaebum was out of his line of sight for more than five minutes.

 

It was all enough to give Jinyoung a headache and he sighed going to fill each plate with a portion fitting the kid he planned on giving it to.

 

Slowly, drawn in by the same scent that awoke Jinyoung the kids walked in still zombified, taking a plate  with a mumbled good morning or in Youngjae’s case a recollection of his dream about flying race cars.

 

They ate quickly their sounds of contentment was enough to have Jaebum beaming despite no one uttering a single word of thanks. After the speedy breakfast there was the daily fight for the bathrooms and Youngjae fell asleep in the tub while Yugyeom transferred from shoulder to shoulder, neither Jaebum nor Jinyoung willing to put him down out of fear that his fever would increase.

 

 Jinyoung had him balanced on his hip while he waved Jackson and Mark off, then Jaebum and the younger boys wishing them all a good day. He even gave Jaebum a smack on the butt when he teased him for acting so much like a housewife.

 

“I’ll bring back some medicine on my break, he probably just needs cuddle therapy but I think a little Nyquil won’t hurt.”

 

“See you then director.” He gave an overly official salute causing Jaebum to crack a smile and whisper something that sent a shiver down his spine. “There are kids around.”

 

“You’re no fun.” Jaebum rolled his eyes turning to follow after Bambam and Youngjae racing each other to the car.

 

Jinyoung grabbed ahold of his shirt collar pulling him forward so their lips were just barely touching “Oh yeah?”

 

“Yep.” He breathed out a laugh, that turned Jinyoung into putty and if it weren’t for the boy in his arms he thought he might melt, “No fun at all.”

 

“Children.” He said more to himself than to Jaebum leaning forward for a peck before pulling away. “Don’t do anything stupid.”

 

“Wouldn’t dream of it.” He called over his shoulder.

 

“Take care of my babies.”

 

“Back at you.”

 

He looked down at Yugyeom half asleep on his shoulder, “I think we better go get started on those cuddles.” He rubbed circles into his back using a foot to swing the door shut and his free hand to lock it.

 

>>>

 

It had been two days since Mark last talked to Jackson.

 

Two days since he said more than a ‘pass the salt please’ at the dinner table or ‘I’ll sleep on the floor’ at bedtime.

 

Two days of sitting alone on the bus chewing his lip to pieces, listening to Jackson and Hoseok talk about how much fun they had playing video games after school.

 

Hiding his B- math project in his backpack because more than anything he wanted to show it off and say how thankful he was for Jackson dragging him to tutoring all year. Going to taekwondo lessons by himself and teasing Bambam with no one by his side to laugh.

 

Two.

 

Whole.

 

Days.

 

Mark rolled a flattened basketball between his hands sitting on the sidelines while the rest of the gym was full of people screaming and laughing, playing tag or running up and down the court while the coaches graded tests in the bleachers.

 

They were all usually separated by grade level. But with summer break being so close everyone was packed into the gym, given a cart full of sports equipment and told to go nuts. Most times when that happened, on Fridays when the teachers were too tired to care. Mark would be excited because for once he would have his friends around to hang out with instead of sitting and waiting for the whistle to blow.

 

And by friends he meant Jackson and his friends because Mark was incapable of talking to people without his family present. Jaebum said he’d grow out of it eventually but he said a lot of things just so Mark wouldn’t worry and sometimes it was hard to tell how much of it was true.

 

Jackson was over by the basketball hoop playing a one on one game with Hoseok while Yoongi sat against the wall nodding off and Amber cheered next to him, though for whom she couldn’t seem to figure out.

 

Mark looked down at his own pathetic ball still leaking air, he was about to put the thing out of its misery when Hoseok jogged over, all smiles.

 

“You want to play? We need a fourth.”

 

Mark looked over his shoulder to see that Yoongi had joined the game, running circles around Jackson easily leaving the younger spinning. “I think Yoongi’s good enough to be a team by himself.”

 

Hoseok let out a laugh grabbing Mark’s hand and pulling him to his feet, “But I’m so bad it won’t matter how good he is.”

 

Mark decided not to put up much of a struggle. Hoseok looked friendly on the outside but Mark had seen his angrier side when he lost a round on Mario Kart and he’d do anything not to be attacked with a peach ever again his life.

 

Amber dropped her voice low, cupping her hands around her mouth. “Ladies and gentlemen we have the ultimate battle of family vs family, brother vs. brother-“

 

“He’s not my brother.” Mark mumbled.

 

Jackson threw an arm around his shoulder, “It’s just a joke.”

 

“It’s not funny.” Mark shook him off then went to grab the ball from Yoongi giving it a few bounces.

 

Hoseok looked between the two of them curiously but didn’t speak on it. “Okay first team to five points wins.”

 

“Wins what?” Yoongi asked, his voice still hoarse from his recent surgery.

 

Mark heard Jackson and Hoseok talking about it on the bus. Hoseok said Jin was practically begging Yoongi to stay in bed for a few more days but Yoongi being stubborn went ahead anyway and by the pained expression on his face Mark thought he might’ve been regretting that decision.

 

Hoseok mulled over the question coming up with a shrug, “Bragging rights?”

 

“That’s boring, what about I get your Super Mario game?” Jackson offered.

 

Hoseok staggered back, hand to his heart, “Do you want my dad to kill me? He loves Mario more than he loves all his kids…combined.”

 

Yoongi nodded solemnly.

 

“Oh I know.” Amber hopped up, “Whoever wins gets a kiss from me.”

 

At the same time all four of their faces soured, “I don’t want to kiss you.” Jackson said.

 

“Yeah me neither.” Hoseok agreed while Yoongi nodded along.

 

Mark shrug non committedly because truth be told he didn’t have much experience in the kissing department and the thought of doing it with anyone other than his family made him queasy.

 

Amber rolled her eyes going back to sit against the wall. “Whatever.”

 

“How about Mark will make his famous ramen if you win and if we win…you get your ears pierced.” Jackson pointed to Hoseok holding back a laugh when Hoseok’s eyes nearly popped out of his skull.

 

“For a basketball game? No. Not today.”

 

Yoongi rolled his eyes, “Then I’ll get my ears pierced again, can we just play?”

 

“Jin barely let you get your ears pierced the first time now you want more?”

 

“I’ll just ask Joon it’ll be fine, let’s go.” He massaged his throat. Speaking still a bit harsh on his recovering body.

 

Even with Yoongi not at his best and Hoseok’s inability to tell left from right, they’d probably still win since Mark knew next to nothing about basketball other than the ball had to make it into the hoop.

 

The game started simply, Amber still cheered for both teams Yoongi still managed to block every shot Jackson tried to make, Hoseok tripped over his own shoes laces and Mark just tried not to lose the ball. It was toward the end of the game, when the other team had four points already and Yoongi was honestly just toying with them. Mark was sweaty and out of breath and he just wanted to be done.

 

That was exactly where things started to go wrong.

 

Jackson yelled at him to shoot while he had Yoongi blocked but Hoseok swooped in just in time to stop it, so Jackson got angry about how Mark was too slow and Mark got angry because Jackson was yelling at him and they both knew how much Mark hated yelling. Then Amber said it was just a game and they didn’t have to be so serious and Mark told her to shut-up because no one was talking to her and Jackson called Mark a jerk and Mark called Jackson stupid.

 

They were in each other’s faces at that point, Hoseok trying desperately to separate them, “Just chill guys.”

 

“I’m stupid? You couldn’t even pass math without my help.”

 

“At least I don’t have to take medicine every morning because I’m too dumb to concentrate.”

 

Jackson staggered backward his brows drawing together.

 

Mark bit his tongue not to immediately say he was sorry because it really wasn’t Jackson’s fault that he had such a hard time concentrating but it also wasn’t Mark’s fault that he sucked at math.

 

“Take it back.” He yelled, surging forward.

 

Mark shook his head.

 

“I said take it back.” his palms shot forward and Mark stumbled before pushing back with a little more intensity.

 

“Guys-“ Hoseok began.

 

“Why are you so mean all of a sudden? I didn’t do anything wrong to you.” Another shove.

 

“Because I hate you and your stupid dad.”

 

“My dad never did anything to you either, I don’t get it.”

 

“He will.” And then Mark forgets he’s supposed to be sorry, he forgets that it’s Jackson he’s up against.

 

Jackson that that’s his friend.

 

Jackson that makes him laugh and eats all his rice.

 

Jackson that doesn’t fight back.

 

They ended up on the floor Mark throwing most of the punches while Jackson tried to push him off at the same time he asked what in the world was his problem. At some point Mark started crying, and while his fists never carried much strength in the first place they weakened to the point where there wasn’t any force behind them at all, along the way he stopped hitting altogether just sat back on his ankles and tried to breathe through the tears.

 

Because Jinyoung was nice now but he wouldn’t be nice forever. He’d end up just like everyone else and it wasn’t fair.

 

It wasn’t fair at all.

 

 >>>

                                                                     

“Since this is both of their first offenses I don’t feel suspension is necessary and certainly because of the nature of their relationship. I fought with my younger brother quite a bit in my day. But with all that being said I can’t let this go unpunished,” Principal Shin leaned back in his chair with a long sigh, drumming his knuckles against the desk in thought.

 

Jackson looked over to Jinyoung holding a tired Yugyeom in his lap. His jaw was wound tight and eyes trained forward while on the other side of him Mark was still red faced and sniffling.

 

“I think just cleaning up the gymnasium should do. This won’t be going on the record because it’s the end of the year, we’re already working ourselves silly trying to get things in order for next year, this way my office staff has a little less work and you guys will have an easier time applying to high schools everyone’s happy.” He clapped once, nodding as if he’d just solved world hunger.

 

“I think that’s more than generous.” Jinyoung said in a pinched voice sparing Jackson a glare.

 

“My parents got remarried when I was about four or five and I was the youngest you see, so when they got a new baby I was so jealous but you learn to love each other.” He reached over to give Mark’s shoulder a pat, “It gets better. Alright big brother?”

 

When they got out to the car Jackson expected a full on lecture but Jinyoung simply buckled up Yugyeom laying his head protectively in Mark’s lap and drove in complete silence.

 

He couldn’t tell if it was because he was angry or just tired but either way Jackson felt his skin crawl with worry. Mark looked like he was still struggling not to burst out in tears which left Jackson confused since he hadn’t landed a single punch on him. Jackson was the one stuck with a bruise on his cheek and a headache from getting knocked to the floor.

 

The weirdest part of it all was Jackson didn’t even know where any of it came from.

 

One day Mark was fine then the next he was acting so different it gave Jackson whiplash. He knew Mark had a temper and he got rough more than a few times when something didn’t go his way but not with Jackson.

 

He punched a wall or threw a controller. Said something mean or slapped you a little too hard on the chest but he’d never gone off and  _hit_ him.

 

Jackson had forgiven him pretty much the moment he walked away after the incident days before but then Mark acted so angry afterward, keeping his words short and going to bed early. He thought he’d give him space but it seemed like no matter what Mark was just waiting to say all those hurtful things and then cry like he was the one that had someone say I hate you to them.

 

The more he thought about it the angrier he got and Jackson hand to curl his fingers into his palms to release some of the frustration building up.

 

They were told to wait on the couch while Jinyoung went to settle Yugyeom in bed.

 

They looked anywhere but at each other the tension so thick Jackson was almost glad to see Jinyoung coming back down the stairs.

 

Almost.

 

“Explain to me why I have to pick you two up not only for fighting but for fighting  _each other_.” He crossed his arms standing before them like the very pissed off dad he was.

 

Jackson looked down at his hands because that was a question he’d like answered himself. He thought they’d be in for a while since Jinyoung probably wouldn’t budge until he got a satisfactory answer but to his surprise Mark spoke up first.

 

“Jackson didn’t start the fight…it was me.”

 

“I know,” he turned to Jackson with a softer expression, “I know you’d never hit anyone, but what I’m confused about is how it escalated so far in the first place.”

 

Mark quieted, his face still splotchy.

 

“I called him names.” Jackson said because he knew how sensitive Mark was about his math skills and it wasn’t right for him to make fun of them.

 

“I called you names too.”

 

“But I called you slow and a jerk and I pushed you first.”

 

“But I pushed you harder.”

 

Jackson rubbed at the lump forming on the back of his head, “You did.”

 

Jinyoung sighed disappearing into the kitchen before reappearing with a ziplock bag full of ice that he passed over to Jackson and he pressed it tenderly to the bump, feeling the coolness shoot through him.

 

He didn’t get another word out before the door was slamming open and Jaebum appeared, his jaw jutted forward in the telltale sign of anger. “What happened?”

 

Jinyoung went to close the door behind him taking the grocery bag out of his arms and giving him a kiss on the cheek, “Go easy on them.”

 

Jaebum breathed out slowly and Jackson swore he saw steam coming out of his nostrils.

 

“Please?”

 

He closed his eyes nodding and Jinyoung went for the stairs throwing them one last look as he ascended a door clicking shut shortly after.

 

Jackson was afraid of…a lot of things actually. Spiders, large mammals, spicy food.

 

But none of that held a candle to Jaebum when he was angry.

 

Like Mark, it wasn’t often for that anger to be turned on him but that one year during thanksgiving when both families decided to spend it together instead of with their respective grandparents (which honestly should have been Jackson’s first clue things weren’t exactly kosher between Jb and his dad) but Jaebum was working on mashing potatoes and Mark just happened to be the unlucky soul playing the blind man during a game of blind man’s tag and ran straight into Jaebum causing him to drop the bowl and shards of glass ended up on the ground along with lumpy potatoes.

 

That day, after Jaebum had such a long talk with him that Mark ended up crying Jackson promised himself he’d never do anything warranting that anger ever in his life.

 

Too bad he broke it.

 

“Your brother is sick and you’ve got Jinyoung taking him all the way across town just so he can pick you two up because you don’t know how to solve your problems with words. What sense does that make?” his voice was at a normal volume but it carried an edge that made Jackson want to melt into the couch cushions.

 

“How many times have I told you, you can’t just hit things when you’re angry Mark? How many times have I said to you, use your words?”

 

“I tried.”

 

“You tried? This is the second fight you’ve picked with Jackson this week and you want to tell me you tried.”

 

Mark looked over at him, betrayal clearly written on his face and Jackson had to avert his eyes because of the guilt bubbling in his stomach, “…I did…”

 

“Go to your room.”

 

He mumbled something inaudible as he walked away dragging his backpack along behind him.

 

“As for you.”

 

Jackson gulped.

 

“I know he can be hard to deal with sometimes,” Jaebum dropped into the seat next to him and Jackson found that he wasn’t so scary anymore, “But he’s going through a lot right now and…we just have to be there for him, okay?”

 

“He said he hated me. Does he mean that?”

 

Mark was always there, unlike everyone else that left at the end of the day. Even Jinyoung who was really only a call away. Mark was right beside him.

 

He was there when they stayed up too late and ate too much of the candy they had stashed under the bed, waking up with belly aches but satisfied with their debauchery nonetheless. When it was cold outside and he moved just a little bit closer so they could share each other’s heat.

 

He was even there last night when Jackson woke up crying in the thunder storm and Mark just hugged him until he fell asleep. The memory so foggy in his then sleep clouded mind that he wouldn’t put it past himself to have imagined it all.

 

Jaebum closed his eyes, shaking his head at the same time he gave Jackson’s hair a ruffle, “Just be patient with him, he’ll come around.”

 

Would he?

>>>

 

Jinyoung hadn’t realized how late it had gotten until Bambam was climbing into bed next to him, already washed up and dressed in his pajamas. Yugyeom still lay to his right though he was very much awake, reading one of the books they had began collecting from boxes of cheerios. His eyes were still drooping a bit too much for Jinyoung to consider him cured but they were more open then, than they had been all day and Jinyoung had to count it as a positive.

 

“How you feeling Brownie?”

 

Yugyeom perked up at the nickname staring up at Jinyoung like it was his first time really seeing him that day, “My tummy hurts.”

 

Jinyoung rubbed circles into his stomach giving him a small kiss to the affected area and hoping it would do the trick. He peaked over his shoulder at Bambam gazing down at his framed picture, his mouth curved downward. He’d chosen a simple pair of gray sweatpants and a Flintstones themed t-shirt to sleep in though the pants rode a little high around the ankles thanks to his legs growing faster than the rest of him.

 

“How was school today?” he turned to face Bambam fully. His hair was still damp from the bath, flushed cheeks and minty breath. Jinyoung didn’t know which he wanted to be more, proud that Bambam was able to get ready for bed all by himself or shocked with just how fast he was growing up.

 

“I learned about fractions and whole numbers and decimals,” he stumbled over the word, mouth still getting used to the feel of the letters on his tongue. “I can’t use them yet. I have to wait until second grade but I really want to learn.”

 

“We can work on it over the summer, how does that sound?”

 

He nodded, his frown finally melting away. “Is Gyeomie okay?”

 

“Hm, how about we check on him.” Jinyoung turned to lay flat on his back so Bambam could crawl over. “His tummy still hurts.”

 

He stared over at Yugyeom for a while before leaning over to kiss the same spot Jinyoung had minutes before. “Now you’ll get better really quick. Right?” he looked over to Jinyoung with such a curious expression it would have been criminal not to give his cheek a squeeze.

 

Yugyeom settled his book on the nightstand. His eyes were already shut when he turned over and Jinyoung’s heart broke for him, the Nyquil had done well for his headache but the poor thing couldn’t stay awake for more than a few minutes at a time.

 

Bambam shifted to lay next to him and started talking about fractions in more detail. He stated his surprise at how one sixteenth of a pizza was smaller than one eighth of a pizza and Yugyeom snorted in disbelief.

 

Jinyoung would’ve gotten comfortable and fallen asleep with them but Bambam had a habit of kicking in his sleep and while the bed could definitely accommodate the three of them he’d rather give Yugyeom as much space as possible so he wouldn’t be so cramped up and just maybe next time he woke up he’d be back to his usual self.

 

Jinyoung replaced Bambam’s photo on the window sill, gave them each their good night kiss and closed the door gently behind him.

 

In his bedroom the tv was still on, playing CNN as usual, Jaebum propped up against the headboard typing. He kept glancing between the keyboard and the little notepad he had laid on the nightstand completely oblivious to Jinyoung’s presence until he cleared his throat a little louder than necessary.

 

Jaebum refixed his glasses on his nose squinting despite the corrective eyewear to see Jinyoung clearly, “Is that my shirt?”

 

He looked down at the plain white t-shirt and sure enough the neckline hung past his collarbones, and the sleeves were a bit looser than usual, “I was tired okay.” He went to the dresser to pluck out a shirt of his own but suddenly he felt one of Jaebum’s arms snake around his waist.

 

“Don’t worry about it, it’s been a long day. Is everything okay with Yugyeom?”

 

Jinyoung hummed in response. Despite having slept most of the day, for some reason his brain still felt muddled and all he wanted to do was crawl into bed.

 

“Thanks for taking care of him.”

 

“Thanks for not yelling.”

 

Jaebum leaned forward to rest his chin on Jinyoung’s shoulder, “Sorry Mark’s being such a headache. I think I might set him up for another appointment with Namjoon.”

 

“You’re sure it’s not just hormones?”

 

“I wish I knew the answer to that.”

 

Jinyoung turned around to face him. They were almost eye level if it wasn’t for that half a centimeter Jaebum had on him that Jinyoung had almost forgotten about. He closed his eyes and leaned forward, all his weight pressing into Jaebum. “Carry me.”

 

“Now I know where Jackson gets the theatrics from.” He chuckled but obliged because that’s just what Im Jaebum did when it came to Park Jinyoung.

 

They settled on the bed chest to chest, “He’s alright isn’t he? I didn’t get a chance to talk to him about the fight.”

 

“You worry too much.”

 

“With these kids, can you blame?” He asked incredulously.

 

Jaebum laughed once again, “Not one bit.”

 

>>>

 

“Heechul I swear to god if I come back here and another one of my kids has holes in their ears-“ Jinyoung warned clinging to the doorframe despite Jaebum’s desperate attempts to pull him out before they ended up being late.

 

“Chillax, I left the piercing gun at home.” He flipped his hair casually, it had grown out to shoulder length and if his hands weren’t in it he was turning his head a little harder than necessary or smacking someone in the face with it.

 

“I want them all in bed by nine thirty, you hear me  _all_ of them.”

 

Jaebum went to peeling his fingers away from the wood, “I think he’s got it.” He successfully removed his right hand but the left was being a bit more stubborn.

 

“Yeah, yeah I got it. Help Bambam in the bath make sure I read Mark to sleep.”

 

“Youngjae. You help Youngjae in the bath and read to Yugyeom before bed. Oh my god did you read my text?”

 

“Uh no it was like a whole essay.”

 

Jackson walked in from the kitchen tucking his bag of gummy worms under one arm so he could help Jaebum. “Dad, we’ll be fine.”

 

“No, no last time you said that I had to explain to the neighbors why they had the police knocking on their front door. And Heechul if you don’t get your hands off my mom’s plates you’re dead.”

 

It took another five minutes and an angry call from Jin asking where the hell they were but eventually Jinyoung finally relaxed long enough for Jaebum to half carry him out to the car while he yelled at Heechul to make sure Mark didn’t stay up too late and to call every hour.

 

He was still screaming out the car window as they pulled off.

 

* * *

 

 

 

The first thing Jin did was give Jaebum a smack upside the head for letting Heechul babysit then gave Jinyoung a hug understanding more than anyone how untrustworthy Heechul could be.

 

Namjoon offered him a shrug as an apology because once Jin got angry there was no controlling him and Jaebum nodded in understanding. Jeonghan and Seungcheol smiled politely, but Jaebum could sense their underlying annoyance.

 

When the dust settled and Jin had stopped glaring daggers at him, Jaebum put in their drink orders and thanked everyone for coming.

 

“Anything to get me out of that house.” Jeonghan began, “Mingyu and Seokmin have been driving me crazy, I mean I love all of them but if I have to change another diaper I’m gonna scream. Then these two have just been kicking up a storm.” he rubbed his growing belly the flower printed dress shirt he wore pulling tight across the area.

 

Seungcheol placed a hand over top of his, “We’re not talking about the kids tonight remember?”

 

“I just need food, who ate all the bread?”

 

Jin swallowed thickly, mumbling an excuse me as he went off in search of the bathroom.

 

Namjoon hid a laugh behind his fist.

 

“So, you guys looked at the menu yet?” Jaebum offered as a change of subject. He opened his own menu flipping through it mindlessly. Over the years they’d been to Monty’s enough times that Jaebum had the menu practically lasered into his brain but he needed something to do with his hands and resting them in Jinyoung’s lap was a bit too much PDA for his liking.

 

“There’s so many spicy things.” Seungcheol crinkled his nose up in disgust.

 

Jinyoung gasped, his eyes bulging out of their sockets, “Jackson hates spicy foods too, did I tell Heechul that? Maybe I should call-“

 

Jaebum grabbed his wrist before he could pull his phone out. “Jinyoung.” He peered at him over top of his glasses. If they were alone he would’ve kissed the worry lines away but settled for rubbing his thumb across Jinyoung’s knuckles instead. “Everything is fine.”

 

“What if he forgets to check under Youngjae’s bed for monsters, he won’t be able to sleep and Jackson will stay up all night and he’ll be too tired to go tux shopping in the morning.”

 

Jaebum moved his hand from his wrist down to his fingers interlocking them in a gesture that had Jinyoung’s shoulders dropping down from his ears. “Mark will look after Youngjae and Jackson’s got enough energy for a football team, he’ll be fine Jagi.”

 

 Jaebum conjured as much reassurance as he had into the look he gave Jinyoung, restraining himself from leaning in to kiss his slightly pouted lips.

 

Jinyoung closed his eyes then opened them, giving Jaebum a short nod. “Don’t be greasy.”

 

“How’s the wedding planning going?” Seungcheol asked, his eyes flickered between Jaebum’s fingers interlocked with Jinyoung’s and his own hand, tapping impatiently on the table.

 

Jinyoung having been essentially doing the wedding planner’s job for her in the last six months was quick to respond, “We’re still running late on a few things but I’d say it’s going as well as you can expect.”

 

“I still can’t believe you didn’t have a bachelor party, that was my favorite part.”

 

Jaebum shared a look with Jinyoung, “We just thought we’d be better off without it.” He said slowly.

 

Jin returned with another bread basket that Jeonghan immediately claimed, shoving three in his mouth in one go and making noises of satisfaction as he chewed.

 

Namjoon jumped into the conversation with his own two cents, “Oh yeah Jinyoung would get way too jealous plus-“

 

“More bread honey?” Jin didn’t wait for answer in favor of a shoving a roll in Namjoon’s mouth sparing Jaebum a sympathetic look. “Speaking of bread, you guys ready to order?”

 

They all ordered varying shades of the same noodle and meat dish while Jin and Jeonghan polished off another two bread baskets, getting amused looks from their respective mates and Jaebum was free to stare at Jinyoung while he asked Jin about how he was getting along with his understudy.

 

So far the night was going well.

 

>>>

 

Jackson pulled the towel tighter around his shoulders when he felt a glob of product drip down his back. “Is it supposed to burn?” he asked, trying desperately not to run to the sink and duck his head under the faucet.

 

“Yeah, yeah that just means it’s working.” Heechul said dismissively.

 

Heechul had claimed he was only planning on dying his own hair when he disappeared into the bathroom halfway through a game of monopoly but Jackson, having lost all his properties to Bambam and his puppy dog eyes followed after him to see at least ten boxes of dye crammed into his backpack. 

 

He found a particularly nice shade of blonde that he mentioned to Heechul he wouldn’t mind having while the older rinsed out red dye. Ten minutes later Heechul had one of the decorative towels wrapped around his dripping hair and was slathering a bowl full of blue liquid throughout Jackson’s scalp.

 

He’d been at it for almost half an hour and the entire bathroom smelled exactly like the carcinogens it contained and with Heechul’s haphazard application abilities most of the product was getting on the towel instead of Jackson’s hair, leaving a nice amount of blue streaks all over the creamy white.

 

“Did your dad get any more of those pizza rolls?” Heechul asked, scooping the last bit of chemical onto Jackson’s roots.

 

“My dad doesn’t buy pizza rolls, Jaebum does.”

 

“Don’t be funny they’re both your dads, did he get pizza rolls or not?”

 

Jackson squirmed under the slight burn from his scalp and the looming reality of Heechul’s words. Even if Mark hated him, they’d still be brothers pretty soon and the only advice he’d been given was to be patient. “Yeah. Tostito’s.”

 

“Sweet. We should wash this out first.” He dialed up the faucet to warm and Jackson gratefully leaned down to let the bleach rinse out, “Keep your eyes closed and try not to breathe in too deeply.”

 

Jackson did as he was told. He couldn’t help but feel excited thinking about how cool he would look with blonde hair, Hoseok would probably brag to half to school about him, Amber would beg for his secret, even Yoongi might have given him a little nod.

 

“We’re gonna need loads of toner but I think it looks great. Heechul Kim professional hair stylist.” He ruffled Jackson hair with the towel then went to his bag to begin mixing up the toner.

 

Jackson squeezed out a bit more of the extra water before opening his eyes to check his reflection.

 

His hair was no longer the plain limp brown that he had grown up with but a nearly white blonde that reminded him of the lightning that had robbed him of a good night’s sleep. The roots were still a bit too brassy to be considered finished but Jackson had to admit,

 

He looked pretty good.

 

“Do you like or do you love?” Heechul returned with a fresh applicator brush, going straight to work lathering on the toner.

 

“I love it, it’s great, my friends are gonna be so jealous. I can’t wait ‘till they see it.” He smiled a nearly face spitting smile imagining their reactions, “I have to tell…Mark.” The name came out sour on his tongue.

 

“Doesn’t sound like you _want_ to tell Mark.” Heechul commented.

 

“No…I guess I don’t.”

 

“Alright,” He turned Jackson to face him. Half to see the front of his hair better, half to look him in the eye, “What’s up between you brats, don’t think I didn’t notice you haven’t said anything to each other all night.”

 

“It’s not  _my_ fault,” Jackson huffed, “He’s just gotten so mean lately.”

 

“And you didn’t do anything?”

 

“Nothing. He said he hated me and he hated my…my dad. But we didn’t do anything wrong I swear.”

 

“That little jerk.” Heechul mumbled in disbelief.

 

Jackson still couldn’t believe it, how Mark so easily spat out such cruel things like they weren’t supposed to be best friends. For once, he didn’t even jokingly offer Mark the bed. Just grabbed his sleeping bag and went upstairs to clear a spot for himself on Youngjae’s floor and got cozy amongst the piles of toys.

 

He made sure he was up before Jinyoung but he swore Jaebum caught him sneaking back downstairs and he hoped the secret would stay between them.

 

“And you didn’t do anything to him?”

 

“Nope.”

 

“This reminds me of when your dad started dating again and you hated every single one of the guys he introduced you to.”

 

Jackson looked up curiously.

 

He raised his voice a bit higher, though Jackson could hear him just fine, “Yep, you thought your dad would get hurt if he kept letting so many different people in.”

 

Jackson glared up at him, “I had to make sure they were good enough.”

 

“As any good son would do. I think eventually you realized, if your dad makes a decision…sometimes he really does know what he’s doing and you just have to trust him.”

 

“What does this have to do with anything?”

 

He spared a look over his shoulder, “That’s just what this reminded me of.”

 

Jackson peered into the hallway, brightened by the tv still playing in the living room. He saw the shadows dancing on the walls and his shirt tossed on the floor to keep it from getting destroyed by the bleach, “What were you looking at?”

 

“Oh nothing, come on let’s finish this up before your hair turns purple.”

 

Jackson shrugged simply.

 

>>> 

 

Mark liked Heechul well enough, he was cool in a laid back sort of way and said things the way they were without the easy to swallow sugary coating over his words. He was willing to talk about almost anything, only topic that was off limits was why he walked with a limp on his left side that Mark barely noticed anymore.

 

But as cool as Heechul could be he was too busy with Jackson in the bathroom downstairs to bother helping the younger kids get ready for bed leaving Mark to sit on the lid of the toilet seat watching suds form out of the strawberry scented bubble bath Jinyoung had stacked on the shelf while Yugyeom and Youngjae waited patiently on the ledge for when Mark deemed the temperature safe for them to hop in.

 

Bambam was sat on the floor sorting out which clothes he planned on wearing to bed looking up every now and again to ask Mark what he thought of a certain color combination before running back to his room to pull out something he thought might work better. He claimed to be able to get himself washed up but Mark thought he’d ask Jackson to watch over him just in case.

 

He'd rather not get yet another lecture that week.

 

Mark dipped his hand into the water with a nod, “Okay it’s ready.”

 

Youngjae and Yugyeom wasted no time jumping in, sending a wave down Mark’s way that ended up soaking the front of his shirt.

 

“I like red and yellow.” Bambam held up a Transformers themed shirt and Avengers pants.

 

Mark shook his head.

 

“What goes with red?”

 

“Blue.” Yugyeom said while he scooped up a handful of bubbles to blow Youngjae’s way and they both giggled happily.

 

“Nuh-uh.”

 

“Nuh-huh.”

 

“Blue is a primary color, primary colors don’t go together.”

 

“But I thought your favorite color was blue.”

 

“That doesn’t mean it matches with everything.”

 

“I like red.” Youngjae cheered.

 

Mark grabbed bath sponges off the back of the tub. Pink for Yugyeom, red for Youngjae, there was another red one for Bambam but he’d switched over to green thinking it a more manly color.

 

Mark dropped the sponges in and they took it as a signal to begin the actual washing up process. Yugyeom started with behind his ears as Jinyoung had told him while Youngjae struggled to get a proper hold on the sponge. Mark had to just sit back and let him figure it out or he’d get frustrated and have a tantrum.

 

It was when he finally gave in and asked for help that Mark rolled his sleeves up to start scrubbing his back.

 

“Why does he always need help at bath time?” Bambam asked having settled on a yellow top and black bottoms.

 

Mark could see Youngjae’s red cheeks from over his shoulder, he used to not care so much when Bambam asked questions like that, why Youngjae was so clumsy, why he was so small even though he was older. Yugyeom having grown up with him just accepted it but Bambam’s questions only seemed to increase as did Youngjae’s embarrassment.

 

Mark wasn’t the best with words so instead of answering he sent a spray of bubbles in Bambam’s direction and the younger glared going to do the same, only somehow he ended up hitting Yugyeom instead.

 

“Hey.” Yugyeom whined, he went to throw a handful of bubbles that caught Bambam cutely on the nose and Mark didn’t even try to hold back his laughter.

 

Youngjae laughed along with him, clapping his hands in a way that got even more soap all over the place.

 

Bambam, not one to be outdone, scooped up and armload of bubbles waving his hands in any direction so even the walls were covered. “Beat that.”

 

Pretty soon instead of the tub being full of bubbles they were all over the floor, the sink, Bambam’s formerly fresh clothes, even out in the hallway. Mark’s hair ended up drenched, hanging in his eyes and dripping onto his nose.

 

He abandoned his position to get the towels that had been thankfully spared from the assault holding one open for Yugyeom to jump into then the other for Youngjae.

 

He noticed the bruises on Youngjae’s knees but decided not to comment, he probably fell playing and bringing it up would just make him feel even more embarrassed.

 

The two of them scurried off to their bedrooms to get dressed, since Jinyoung had thankfully left clothes out for them to change into while Mark added more soap for Bambam. He straightened, getting ready to leave Bambam to his privacy but surprisingly he gripped Mark’s hand shyly.

 

“Can you stay here?” he kept his eyes trained on the tile, picking at the threads of his shorts. “I don’t like it when it rains.”

 

Mark was about to tell him it was fine but sure enough as soon as he opened his mouth he heard the familiar pitter patter coming from outside and Bambam flinched, drawing ever so slightly closer.

 

“Please?”

 

“It’s just rain, nothing bad is gonna happen.”

 

“I don’t like it.”

 

“Well…do you want me to help you wash up.”

 

He shook his head quickly, “I can do it. You just stay here…and turn around.”

 

Mark did as he was told with a smile, even the all mighty Bambam had his faults.

 

>>>

 

“I’m not drunk.” Jaebum proclaimed, leaning heavily on Jinyoung’s shoulder.

 

Jin had long since passed coherence and was running up and down the street asking Namjoon to dance with him even though Namjoon himself had yet to get off the bus stop bench he was positioned on.

 

Seungcheol and Jeonghan were the only pair completely unfazed by the alcohol because as soon as the beer came out Jeonghan adamantly stated he wasn’t carrying anyone’s drunk ass home.

 

Jaebum swayed on his feet laughing along to a joke only he could hear while Jinyoung tried to get the keys out of his pocket. “Nyoungie, why aren’t we home I wanna see the kids.”

 

At that Namjoon let out a loud sigh, “I forgot about the kids, can you believe that? I forgot about my own damn kids.”

 

“Mine are with me everywhere I go, couldn’t forget them if I tried.” Jeonghan adjusted so he was laid on his side and Seungcheol rubbed weak circles into his back whispering about how they’d be home soon.

 

“There is no way in hell I’m letting the kids see you like this. Now will you stay still.” Jinyoung did his best to hold him steady but Jaebum had always been the stronger of the two and he easily moved to pin Jinyoung against the light post, caging him in with his body.

 

“Does this remind you of something?” he smiled devilishly.

 

Jinyoung knew the exact moment in history Jaebum was referring to, wondering how he remembered so many years later in his drunken state when he could barely remember their anniversary when he was sober. “We are not doing that again.”

 

“Jagi.” He whined, moving in closer.

 

Before things could go further however, Seungcheol was thankfully pulling him back and Jinyoung was finally able to swipe the keys from his back pocket.

 

“Namjoon, where’s Kookie?” Jin yelled suddenly, running back down the street so fast there was a burst of wind rolling in behind him. “Oh my god did we lose him again? Kookie!” He screamed into the sky, “We have to go, we have to go find him.”

 

“Uh…see you guys on Saturday.” Namjoon said as he was pulled to the parking lot by a frantic Seokjin.

 

“Good luck.” Jinyoung muttered.

 

His fingers shook with the cold night air and Seungcheol had to momentarily release Jaebum to help steady Jinyoung’s hands long enough for him to unlock the car doors. He helped get Jaebum into the passenger’s seat with minimal bruises, buckling him in while he kept blinking like maybe the alcohol was starting to wear off just a little bit.

 

“Thanks.” Jinyoung said awkwardly.

 

He never had anything against Seungcheol, he was just a lead on his husband’s play and as such spent more time with him some days than Jinyoung himself did and unlike Jin who may or may not have secretly despised Jaebum, Seungcheol only ever spoke highly of him and for some reason it never sat right with Jinyoung.

Seungcheol gave him a smile and a nod before going to Jeonghan, “Have a safe trip.”

 

Jinyoung nodded meekly then started up the car and pulled off.

 

It couldn’t have been more than five minutes later when Jaebum was laughing about something in his seat and Jinyoung tried not to pull over a chuck him into the ocean.

 

“You wanna know how much I love you?” Jaebum said, dragging out the o. “To the moon and back.”

 

“That’s not very far.” Jinyoung teased.

 

“To Saturn.”

 

“Try again.”

 

“Uranus.”

 

“Funny.”

 

“Neptune.”

 

Jinyoung spared him a pout through the mirror, “I’m beginning to think you don’t love me very much at all.”

 

Jaebum leaned over, giving him a dark look that made Jinyoung want to pull over for an entirely different reason. “Brat.”

 

Jinyoung held back his smirk driving for an even smaller amount of time before Jaebum was talking once again, though his words had devolved into gibberish about how Jinyoung’s feet would be cold when they got in bed later and he definitely wouldn’t be sober enough to get a job at the bakery. Jinyoung half listened, fearing that if he blocked Jaebum out completely his anxiety over leaving his children in the care of a man known for his unpredictability. Jinyoung could honestly say he trusted Kim Heechul with their lives, but helping raise them was a completely different story.

 

“Y’know when we first met I told my parents I was gonna marry you one day.”

 

Jinyoung, suddenly interested in Jaebum’s musings stole a glance at his slumped figure out the corner of his eyes.

 

“Remember when I was at that talent show and I sang and everyone told me I was good, you were the only one that told me honestly I sucked.”

 

Jinyoung bit his lip to keep from laughing, Jaebum was a great singer. So much so that when he sang at the kid’s birthdays or to the radio while they drove people often wondered why he didn’t pursue a career in it. However, it wasn’t always like that.

 

“I went home and cried so hard my mom got scared I’d never stop.”

 

“Get to the part where you say good things about me.”

 

“Oh so you are listening?”

 

Jinyoung rolled his eyes.

 

“I knew they were all lying but…it still hurt to have someone be so blunt. Then I realized you were the only person in my life that told the truth, no matter how much it hurt.” he laughed breathily,”…you still are.”

 

He quieted for a while as Jinyoung turned into the driveway seeing the house thankfully darkened save for the faint glow coming from Bambam’s window thanks to Yugyeom’s nightlight.

 

He switched the car off, taking the key from the ignition.

 

“I can’t remember what I said exactly but…I was right.” Jaebum smiled, the crinkly eyed kind that made Jinyoung have to duck in and give him a kiss to the lips, he pulled away quickly since the taste of alcohol was still heavy on Jaebum’s tongue but his faith in Im Jaebum was growing like a weed, and Jinyoung was in no rush to stop it.

 

In the thirty seconds from the car to the door Jaebum had gone from reminiscing to falling asleep on Jinyoung’s shoulder and it was a struggle to hold him up while at the same time unlocking the door.

 

When they stepped inside, Jinyoung prepared himself for a couch full of children in varying stages of sleep but was met with Heechul flipping through channels with a tray full of pizza rolls in his lap. He barely acknowledged their arrival and Jinyoung did the same in regards to his change of hair color.

 

He helped Jaebum up the steps and into bed, tossing his shoes to the floor as well as removing his tie completely. He did a quick check on the younger boys and finding them all, soundly asleep and in fresh pj’s he went back downstairs.

 

“I’m not paying you.”

 

“ _You_ paying _me_ for watching _your_ kids, wouldn’t dream of it.” He tossed the last of the pizza rolls in his mouth then stood, shouldering his slightly less full bag, “How’d dinner go?”

 

“Fine.”

 

“I thought so, The Choi’s are good people. You should spend more time with Seungcheol, I’m sure you two would get along great.”

 

“Maybe.”

 

They stood in silence for a while before Heechul blurted out, “Okay I get it, you want me to leave.”

 

Jinyoung nodded going to open the door to emphasize his point. “Thanks, for once you didn’t destroy my house.”

 

Heechul mumbled something about the bathroom but shook his head when Jinyoung asked him to clarify, “See you next time Mr.Park.”

 

Jinyoung closed the door behind him then went through his nightly routine of locking doors and closing curtains. He went down to the basement to check on Mark and Jackson, his nose tingling with a strange sensation.

 

He pushed open the door and a wall of chemical scent hit him at the same time he noticed where there should have been a brown head of hair peaking out from underneath the blankets there was blonde.

 

And not just any blonde.

 

Bleach.

 

Bleach. Blonde. Hair. On his eleven year old son.

 

Jinyoung couldn’t help but let out an exasperated scream,

 

“ _Heechul!_ ”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only 90’s kids remember when this was only supposed to be thirty thousand words.  
> This chapter went through so many variations, I really hope you guys like this one.  
> I tried to give each of the boys an equal amount of attention this time around but I feel like Yugyeom and Youngjae kinda got left out so they will certainly get some love next chapter.  
> I started work on the jjp prequel and it’s kinda on the darker side but I couldn’t help myself and ended up dropping a ton of hints in this story for things that will be explained in that one, see if you can catch ‘em all.  
> If you feel like it leave me some comments they’ve really been keeping me motivated.  
>   
> Psst expect a one shot coming later this week, I’ll give you a hint.  
> Snow in August.


	5. And Hopefully

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So I haven't taken chinese in probably the last five years but from what i remember 
> 
> Yima-Mother's sister (Aunt)  
> Ganga-Awkward
> 
> I know next to nothing about korean but I think Jagiya can also be used in reference to a male. 
> 
> If this is wrong please correct me, thanks for reading.

“Batch number two coming up.” Jinyoung announced opening the oven door to a wall of sappy sweet scent.

 

He folded up a dish cloth using it the absence of oven mitts that truth be told he’d never bought to grab the baking tray and placed it on top of the stove setting the timer for two minutes while they cooled then over to the little cake pan he’d filled with the last few cookies that couldn’t fit in the other two batches.

 

Jackson and Mark were still at taekwondo while Yugyeom and Bambam were completely absorbed in an episode of teenage mutant ninja turtles leaving Youngjae as his only companion to help decorate the cookies for Yoongi’s graduation party.

 

Jinyoung had planned on getting something store bought if Jaebum wasn’t around to make something decent but it was just one of those Sundays when he had too much energy to sleep the day away but not enough to get around to anything productive.

 

The day before was spent practically dragging Jackson around the mall to see if there was a way to get all the bleach out of his hair without cutting it and failing miserably then tux shopping then around town to check on wedding plans until his feet were sore from the awful combination of driving and walking.

 

Youngjae was at the table leaning in so close to a heart shaped sugar cookie that his nose was dotted in just the smallest amount of green icing. He held a yellow tube of icing tightly in his too small hands squeezing out just enough to make a little pinprick then over to the other side to repeat the process and a short curved line at the bottom. When he deemed the creation finished he nodded to himself dropping it on one of the many plates already filled with smiley faced treats.

 

“Why don’t we try something different.” Jinyoung suggested grabbing a blue tube and a star shaped cookie.

 

Youngjae shrugged, “Don’t know how.”

 

“Come here.” He reached over, easily scooping Youngjae up to settle in his lap. “Let’s see if we can write your name, does that sound fun?”

 

Youngjae nodded eagerly and Jinyoung took a moment to dip in for a kiss to his icing spotted nose smiling before he placed the tube carefully in Youngjae’s hand wrapping his own protectively around it.

 

“Now put just a little bit of pressure on it for me.”

 

Youngjae did as he was told and Jinyoung made a circular motion with their hands, “Very good Youngjae.”

 

They made another small circle then a backwards looking ‘f’ shape. Youngjae looked up quizzically, though before he had time to ask the question clear on his face Jinyoung was already answering, “It’s hangul.”

 

“Hang gool?” the word stumbled off his lips and Youngjae scrunched his nose up in confusion, “What’s that?”

 

Jinyoung reached for a red tube at the same time he gingerly took the blue one from Youngjae’s hands, “It’s how people write in Korea.”

 

Youngjae nodded seeming to understand.

 

They finished the next character much quicker with it looking similar to an elongated ‘H’ and Jinyoung had to give himself an imaginary pat in the back for remembering the writing style he hadn’t used since elementary school.

 

He moved the cookie over to one of the drying plates and Youngjae grabbed for another blank one, though before he could start decorating the timer went off and Jinyoung had to get the semi cooled cookies off the baking sheet before they got stuck. He attempted to stand but Youngjae only clung tighter to him and Jinyoung did little to hide his smile while he shifted the boy on to his hip and used the spatula to scrape the sheet clean one handed.

 

“Are they done yet?” Yugyeom said having been drawn in by the smell. He peered over Jinyoung’s arm with wide eyes.

 

After his first feverish night he’d recovered quickly, the only trace of his cold being a sniffle here and a cough there. One of the downsides however, to sleeping all day was he hadn’t slept a wink since and if he wasn’t glued to the tv he was glued to Jinyoung.

 

“Only people who help decorate get to eat. Isn’t that right Youngjae?”

 

He shook his head “Gyeomie special.” Youngjae leaned down to take a cookie from the plate then handed it to Yugyeom who made sounds of happiness as he took a large bite.

 

Youngjae wiggled to be let down and Jinyoung set him on the floor watching as he lead Yugyeom to the table where he got a napkin for him to eat over.

 

“Thank you.” Yugyeom said gratefully. He smiled around a mouthful of cookie and Youngjae gave him a small pat on the head.

 

Jinyoung knew he was smiling like an idiot watching the two of them. He’d almost forgotten with how small Youngjae was that Yugyeom was still his little brother and as such he’d probably be getting babied for the rest of his life by one sibling or another.

 

“Can we make Gyeomie hang gool too?” Youngjae asked his fingers already wrapped around another cookie.

 

“In a minute Sunshine.”

 

Jinyoung peaked over the couch to see Bambam sprawled out over the cushions looking more bored than Jinyoung thought humanly possible. He threw one last glance at the pair in the kitchen to see Youngjae had taken to showing off his collection of smiley faced cookies then went to check on his baby in denial.

 

“Well don’t you look excited.” Jinyoung commented, moving one of Bambam’s ever growing legs to the side so he could sit.

 

Bambam spared him a glance, “Can we do something fun today?”

 

“What’s wrong with baking?”

 

“You only like it when Youngjae helps you.” He said with a pout.

 

Jinyoung shook his head, “Or maybe you always critique my decorating skills when I let you help.”

 

Bambam opened his mouth to protest but Jinyoung simply waited for his defense, smiling when none came. “How about when Jb gets back we can go shopping?”

 

“Clothes shopping?”

 

Jinyoung almost burst out laughing at how quickly Bambam’s furrowed brows and crinkled nose turned into wide eyes and an open mouth.

 

“Among other things-“ was all he could get out before Bambam was throwing himself in his lap, wrapping his thin arms as tightly as he could around Jinyoung’s middle.

 

“You’re the best dad ever.”

 

Jinyoung smiled down at him once again whispering so low he was sure Bambam hadn’t heard, “You’ll have two of those soon.”

* * *

 

 

Jinyoung rested his chin on his palm supported by the shopping cart he’d pushed along for that exact purpose. He took Bambam shopping just as he said but the second they passed a Gymboree Bambam was yanking on his sweater to go inside. Rather than arguing Jinyoung simply followed behind him, looking at the price tags of the shirts Bambam haphazardly threw in the cart.

 

Around the twentieth minute Jinyoung semi regretted his decision but the look of pure joy on Bambam’s face when he found something he claimed was absolutely essential to his wardrobe was enough for him to nod and give a thumbs up when the kid added yet another item of clothing to the growing stack.

 

He’d left Jaebum to deal with the rest of the kids and finish cookie decorating and cleaning the house and making dinner maybe even getting them all ready for bed if he felt mean enough. Jinyoung didn’t think it was punishment enough for his alcohol abuse but it would have to do.

 

For now anyway.

 

“That’s a little too big for you don’t you think?” Jinyoung asked when Bambam dropped a sixty dollar sweatshirt in the basket that he was certainly not buying.

 

“It’s for Mark.” Bambam said thumbing through a section of equally over sized pairs of pants.

 

“Why are we picking out clothes for Mark?” It wasn’t that Jinyoung was against buying clothes for the preteen he just didn’t think he had the energy to handle shopping for two. Besides the fact that he was still grounded and Jaebum likely considered new clothes off limits for the time being.

 

Bambam just shrugged but before he got far Jinyoung had grabbed him around the waist, “You have ten seconds to explain before I start tickling.”

 

Bambam looked up at him with pinched brows, “It’s just cause.”

 

Jinyoung crooked his fingers underneath Bambam’s spindly arms, poised for a merciless attack, “Is that your final answer.”

 

Bambam shook his head.

 

“Why are we picking out clothes for Mark?”

 

He mumbled something inaudible and Jinyoung ran spider fingers under his arms leaving Bambam to press his lips together to hold back a laugh. “What was that?”

 

“It was raining and he didn’t leave.”

 

Jinyoung felt his hands going slack.

 

“I asked him not to.” Bambam took the opportunity to free himself from Jinyoung’s hold. “But he was still mean to Jackson so I didn’t say thank you.” He picked at the hem of his shirt looking down at his shoes.

 

Jinyoung had been so wrapped up with dinner that night he’d completely forgotten to check on the kids when it started drizzling. Jackson was usually fine if the rain was light enough, but Bambam was always on edge when there was even the slightest bit of moisture in the air. Sometimes having full on panic attacks when it was foggy outside.

 

It was like stepping into a time machine and just like before there the kids were cleaning up the mess Jinyoung made.

 

“You said we have to say thank you when someone does something nice for us.” Bambam continued. “But I don’t want to  _say_ it.”

 

Jinyoung picked up the sweatshirt, feeling the material in his hands. It wasn’t high enough quality for him to fork over sixty bucks but it was soft and probably wouldn’t shrink too much in the dryer. “You think he’ll like it?”

 

“It’s polyester, all he wears is polyester.”

 

“Well…” Jinyoung nodded, “polyester it is.”

  

>>>

 

Jaebum could honestly say he hadn’t slept a full night since he was a kid.

 

If it wasn’t Jinyoung knocking on his window it was screaming babies or police lights flashing around his bedroom.

 

Now however, it’s Jinyoung’s cold toes and a bad habit.

 

 Instead of lying in bed wishing the noise away like he used to or waiting for the three knock combo Jinyoung had claimed as his ‘we need to talk signal’ he wrote.

 

It used to be songs but after he gave up on the whole becoming a singer dream he wrote the little dialogues he had with himself and those kept growing until he had full on stories and so on and so forth leaving him at the kitchen table at god knows what o’clock in the morning working on a play he planned on pitching as soon as they finished up with the melodrama they were pushing this season, he was so focused on his work the coffee Jinyoung had graciously left in the microwave for him had gone cold and his eyes were starting to burn from being trained on the computer screen.

 

What he did notice though were the timid footsteps on the staircase, they were too light to be Jackson’s and too quick to be Jinyoung leaving Mark as the only logical conclusion and when the preteen poked his head around the corner Jaebum had to hold back his smile.

 

He looked over the rim of his glasses at Mark’s lanky form. Sure he was getting a little taller and his voice had started to lower but he was still just a kid searching the floor and shifting from foot to foot, still unsure of himself and shy.

 

“Come on over kid.” He pulled out the chair next him and Mark quickly went to sit beside him, leaning his head against his dad. He was too short to get it onto Jaebum’s shoulder but it was a far cry from where he used to be able to curl up in his lap.

 

“Ready to talk?” Jaebum asked.

 

Mark shook his head and Jaebum couldn’t say he was surprised.

 

He went back to typing out the last of the scene he had envisioned, the group of friends had gathered to play a prank on one of the younger members and Jaebum was just about finished with it save for one character that he couldn’t seem to figure out what they should say so he simply elected to have them smile and laugh.

 

It was when he heard Mark’s breathing start to pick up that he decided to call it quits for the night.

 

“Alright, how about you listen then?”

 

He nodded and Jaebum bought him closer and gave his shoulders a squeeze.

 

“I thought I’d tell you how proud I was that you helped get the little ones to bed.”

 

Mark had essentially been blocking him out all weekend since he was grounded until ‘he could figure out how to use his words’ as Jaebum put it or until Jaebum could figure out how to apologize for his mistakes that made Mark feel like he had to lash out while at the same time letting him know there was no excuse for letting his anger take over.

 

Mark’s avoidance had gotten so bad he hadn’t seen him at all Friday and much of Saturday morning mostly due to the fact that he couldn’t handle hangovers nearly as well as he could back in his college days and Jinyoung proclaimed his job ended when Jaebum didn’t wake up in a pool of his own vomit.

 

Saturday night had been nothing but work and wedding stuff leaving Jaebum feeling a little guilty that he hadn’t had more than a few minutes to talk to the kids. If it wasn’t for Jinyoung rushing out with Bambam after giving him a quick kiss Jaebum was pretty sure he’d have gone straight to bed when he got back last night.

 

He had been kicking himself when it came to Mark in particular since their last interaction was sitting on the couch folding up laundry and watching ESPN before he had to go sort out a problem at the bakery. 

 

“You’re doing a really good job with your brothers, I mean you always have but…I’m very thankful for you.”

 

Mark looked up at him like he was just becoming aware of the fact.

 

Jaebum tried to make it a point to tell all the boys how much he appreciated them and all they did, of course he still wasn’t happy with Mark for getting physical but he was a kid after all and knowing him, he probably felt worse than he was letting on especially with Jackson going out of his way to avoid him as well which Jaebum couldn’t blame Jackson for either. They just had to work it out on their own to some degree.

 

“I was thinking, after everything that’s been going on this week you might want to talk to somebody...”

 

“No.” Mark said quickly.

 

Jaebum let out a long sigh, ”Why are you so against the idea, you don’t even know what I was going to say?”

 

“You said all I had to do was listen.”

 

“For now yes but just think about it okay? Can you do that for me.” He felt Mark nod into his side and breathe in just a little deeper. “Thank you.”

 

Jaebum mumbled here and there about how the play was going and that Jin had really missed seeing Mark come by after school, that Jackson was monopolizing all the attention but he could tell his listener had drifted off to sleep long before he got to the part about Namjoon saying there was always a three p.m spot open if Mark ever needed him.

 

Jaebum slowly separated so he could loop one arm around Mark’s shoulders then the other one under his knees, carrying him to the basement where Jackson was still not sleeping and the bed was still rumpled in the same way it had been for nearly a week.

 

He laid Mark gingerly in the center covering him with one of the lighter blankets shoved to the foot of the bed since it had been getting warmer recently.

 

He switched on the nightlight Mark certainly didn’t need anymore but Jaebum kind of did, just as a reminder that at some point Mark; just as Yugyeom was now couldn’t sleep without that soft glow coming from the corner of the room.

 

He threw one last look over his shoulder before he slowly closed the door.

 

>>>

 

Youngjae didn’t like recess.

 

“Hey stupid you’re supposed to kick the ball, not stare at it.”

 

Scratch that Youngjae  _really_ didn’t like recess.

 

He could answer math equations off the top of his head and ace a spelling test without breaking a sweat but recess was a whole new brand of evil that Youngjae had yet to conquer.

 

The year was taking its sweet old time ending and the teachers had basically given up on presenting any new material, which left Youngjae to sit outside for hours at a time getting sunburned and sweaty. He tried reading for a while but could never find anything to keep his attention long enough to get through more than a few pages, he thought he might play tag with Taehyung and Jimin but he kept tripping when he ran and getting tagged or Jimin would feel so bad for him that he ran extra slow and Taehyung complained it wasn’t fun anymore so Youngjae claimed his ankle hurt.

 

 (“You’re just saying that so you don’t have to play.”)

 

(“I’m serious Minnie, really hurts.")

 

(“Fine, I’ll check on you before we go in.”)

 

That left him to sit in the basketball court scribbling the cool little symbols Jinyoung had showed him the day before on the asphalt.

 

The lines weren’t as smooth without Jinyoung’s guidance and Youngjae was still trying to figure out how anyone could understand the strange collection of shapes but it kept him in the shade and he could probably spend hours perfecting his technique.

 

He was halfway through making the second set of characters when a stray basketball rolled into his shoe.

 

“Did you hear me?”

 

He looked up to find the source of the voice and saw Hana standing with one of the other fifth graders. Her hands were on her hips and cocked sharply to the left in a way that made her look cartoonish. The boy beside her was tall and slender fixing Youngjae with a curious look but saying nothing.

 

Youngjae nodded.

 

“So kick it back over here dummy.” She elbowed the boy in the side and he looked down at her disapprovingly.

 

Instead of kicking the ball he struggled to pick it up, his hands lacking the dexterity to close tight enough around the oversized sphere. He ended up dropping it a few times before securing it under his arm then walked it over to Hana since Jinyoung had told him it wasn’t polite to kick things at people.

 

Youngjae expected her to snatch it out of his hands without a thank you.

 

Only polite people said thank you.

 

And Hana certainly was not polite.

 

He expected her to say she didn’t want it because his ‘piggy’ hands had touched it or something else equally rude.

 

What Youngjae did not expect was for her to smack the ball right out of his arms and he watched it bounce all the way until it hit the gate encircling them, the metal making a clinking sound at the disturbance.

 

“Now go get it.” She sneered.

 

“Come on that was harsh.” The boy said.

 

“He should’ve kicked it like I told him to. Now go get it tiny.”

 

“I’m not tiny.” Youngjae said though his voice came out more of a whisper and he wasn’t sure if anyone heard it all.

 

“Tiny. Midget. Gnome. Shrimp. Take your pick.”

 

Youngjae shook his head. “That’s not my name.”

 

He wanted to run away.

 

Run back to the classroom where it was cool and his clothes didn’t stick to him so unnaturally.

 

Run back over to where Taehyung was ripping out hand fulls of grass and putting it into the hood of Jimin’s sweater while he was counting the rocks he’d collected at the edge of the lawn.

 

Run back to the corner and finish his drawing.

 

But his legs wouldn’t move and he felt more frustrated than ever with his body.

 

“Oh right, would you prefer piggy?” she snickered.

 

“Seriously Hana that’s enough, look at him he’s about to cry.”

 

Youngjae rubbed at his reddening face self consciously. He didn’t know when the tears started to build behind his eyes but his vision was beginning to blur and he looked down at his hands to keep from bursting into tears, just like he knew Hana would want.

 

“Fine whatever.” She gave Youngjae a shove, so hard he fell to the ground and a rock dug painfully into his palm. “Stupid.”

 

The boy gave Youngjae a sympathetic look but didn’t move to help him up, choosing instead to follow behind Hana when she went to the jump rope section ignoring her ball completely in the process.

 

Youngjae remained on the ground for a long time.

 

He looked out at the rest of class playing happily. A few other kids playing basketball, some playing hopscotch or at the lunch tables on the little handheld games they weren’t allowed to bring to school. All of them seemed so… _normal_.

 

 Like tapping the little buttons was the easiest thing in the world or running down the court without falling flat on their faces was a piece of cake. Things Youngjae couldn’t manage on his best day, they made look so simple.

 

He wanted to cry so bad he had to bite his lip to keep the sobs from escaping. Closing his eyes so the tears wouldn’t fall.

 

Why did he have to be so useless?

 

>>>

 

“Mr.Park is there something out in the hall you’d like to share with the rest of the class?”

 

Jackson glanced between the janitor scrubbing the word ‘juicy’ off one of lockers outside the door and his science teacher, Ms.Song taping her pen against a clipboard that looked way too small for her chubby hands in Jackson’s opinion.

 

“Huh?” Jackson asked, because he wasn’t going to pretend he was even half listening. If she was calling him out in front of the entire class she must have already known he’d zoned out long ago.

 

“I said is there something you’d like to show us in the hallway?”

 

He turned back to the janitor who had stopped to squeeze the excess water out of his cloth.

 

“Do you think lockers are juicy Ms.Song?”

 

The rest of the class held giggles behind their binders, except Hoseok probably the only person in the room who knew Jackson was being serious.

 

“I think,” she stepped forward to take the blank sheet of paper Jackson had scribbled his name on and not much else, holding it up for the rest of the class to see, “You need to pay more attention.”

 

Jackson looked down at his hands, running his thumbs over each other, “Yes ma’am.” He nodded.

 

She placed the sheet back on his desk, ”Just because it’s the end of the year doesn’t mean you all can start slacking off. Take this as an example.”

 

Of course she had to make Jackson the example.

 

Even with school being just a few weeks from ending she couldn’t resist making Jackson look even more like an idiot to his classmates.

 

“Are lockers juicy? You’re hilarious dude.” The boy sat behind him, Justin. Gave Jackson a slap on the shoulder and Jackson shared a short laugh with him before Ms.Song was fixing him with another look and Jackson forced himself to pick up his pencil.

 

He mumbled a ‘thanks’ when Hoseok passed over his notes, writing so fast his hands had started to cramp up.

 

 It wasn’t like Jackson was bad in science if you asked him, he just found it harder than most classes to pay attention to. He didn’t know if it was the fact that Ms. Song was actually the devil or that mixing math with funny looking glasses and baking soda bombs was probably his personal idea of hell. But regardless Jackson found himself struggling day in and day out so even though he’d only copied down maybe half of the two pages of notes Hoseok handed him by time the final bell rang he was satisfied,

 

It was better than nothing.

 

“Don’t forget your projects are due next class, no extensions.” She looked pointedly at Jackson who just nodded and tried not to let it get to him.

 

He shoved his books in his backpack, checking the old flip phone Jinyoung gave him with the explicit purpose of emergencies to see he’d gotten a text from Hoseok despite never having seen him pull out his own phone.

 

_Need 2 tlk_

 

“You know I can’t use my phone in class.” Jackson said with a roll of his eyes.

 

“I forgot your dad dropped you in the stone ages.”

 

Jackson rolled his eyes, slinging his backpack over his shoulder.

 

He made his way to the hall, giving out a few high fives and ‘see you tomorrow’s’ though his mind was already racing with all the catch up work he’d have to do to get his project done on time, not to mention all the other forgotten homework piled up in his notebooks.

 

“What did we need to talk about?” Jackson said when he saw Hoseok typing away on his phone where he didn’t have to press a button three times just to get the right one.

 

“Soonyoung is having a graduation party.” He said with a smile so wide his eyes were nearly hidden by his cheeks.

 

“Isn’t Yoongi having one too. Where’s your loyalty?” Jackson said even though he wouldn’t be going if his dad hadn’t threatened to take away his game system.

 

“Yeah but _my_   parents are throwing it. Which means macaroni art, stupid kids movies and everybody goes home by six then we have to clean it all up.”

 

Jackson knew what he was getting into when he traded his Thursday night for five hours of boredom, Yoongi himself had said it wasn’t worth coming.

 

“Hey Jackson don’t forget you owe me a race in gym.” Amber called after him while she tossed what might have been a ham sandwich at some point in the trash can stationed beside her locker.

 

“You’re still gonna lose.” Jackson poked his tongue out at her, dodging a history textbook that nearly caught him in the chest.

 

They exited the school building then walked the short distance to the bus, Jackson sitting all the way in the back out of habit, Hoseok leaning over the chair in front of him still typing away.

 

Not long after that Jackson could see Mark climbing the steps with a frown on his face. He gave Jackson a quick look before sitting in the frontmost seat which wasn’t that unusual as of the past few days. If they both kept it up Jackson was pretty sure they could avoid each other until the end of time.

 

He watched a girl from his Chinese class sit next to him, smiling when they made eye contact. The girl waved though she somehow ended up bumping Mark and Jackson could see him go rigid. He bit his lip to hold back a giggle knowing how awkward Mark was around girls.

 

“What’s got you smiling so hard? You better not like Katie.” Hoseok said, suddenly not all that interested in typing.

 

Jackson waved his hand dismissively, “What’s up with the party am I invited or not?”

 

“Well yeah, I wouldn’t just tell you about a party and not invite you.”

 

“Awesome, I can’t wait to show everyone my hair.” He ran his fingers through it, thanks to Jinyoung, a plastic cap and a bottle of conditioner it had lost the straw feeling it had right after Heechul had dyed it.

 

Hoseok rolled his eyes.

 

“You have to admit it looks cool.”

 

He shook his head, “A little.”

 

The bus slowed to a stop and Hoseok gave Jackson the party details before he departed with a salute, giving Mark a pat on the shoulder on his way out. Mark looked over at him but other than his lips moving and Hoseok smiling he couldn’t tell what was going on.

 

He made conversation with a kid reading a book he thought had a cool cover, managing to make her laugh at least once or twice before she was getting off. A few turns and another stop later they were at the house though Mark remained seated Jackson shuffled forward.

 

He was about to get off but all Mark had to do was catch his eye for half a second and Jackson’s resolve to out ignore him broke right there, “Where are you going?” he asked simply.

 

Mark shrugged, “Taekwondo.”

 

“We have a class today?”

 

He shook his head.

 

“Oh.”

 

“I’d like to finish my route before the end of the year.” The driver said. He gave Jackson a look that said he would be pulling off with or without him and Jackson really didn’t want to explain to Jinyoung why he was late.

 

“See you when you get home then.”

 

“Yeah. See you.”

 

_Just be patient with him, he’ll come around._

 

Jackson sighed, jumping down the steps two at a time.

 

>>> 

 

Jaebum watched carefully as one by one Bambam, Yugyeom and Youngjae filed out of the school building. Their backpacks smacked against the backs of their legs when they ran (or walked in Youngjae’s case) and their shirts were splattered in one substance or another. Probably milk if Jaebum remembered correctly when Jinyoung was doing laundry a few nights ago.

 

“Hey dad.” Yugyeom said his face flushed a bright shade of red as he climbed into the backseat beside Bambam.

 

Jaebum placed a hand against his forehead, it felt warm and sweat slick but it didn’t carry the clammy feeling he got before so Jaebum chalked it up to the weather.

 

Yugyeom buckled his seatbelt then placed his backpack in front of him just as Jinyoung had instructed them all to do, something about his paranoia about airbags crushing them. “We got to play outside _all_   day.” He said with a smile as Jaebum pulled off once he checked to make sure everyone was buckled.

 

“That’s good to hear kiddo, you have fun?”

 

“It was great! I mean Seokmin cheated when we were playing hide and seek but it was okay because guess what?”

 

He turned onto the highway starting the twenty mile stretch with a smile on his face, “What?”

 

“Then we got to play tag and Seokmin had to be it because cheaters never win.”

 

“That’s right Gyeomie.” He reached back to give his cheek a squeeze accidentally getting a pinky up the poor kid’s nose but Yugyeom just laughed and guided his hand to the right place sharing a smile in the rearview mirror.

 

“What about you Bambam? Anything interesting today?”

 

Bambam started with an eye roll and a sigh, “I can’t tell you, you don’t know the backstory.”

 

“Backstory…?”

 

“It’s about Jeongyeon and Jimin, I tell my dad about them all the time but you don’t have the backstory so you won’t get it.” He crossed his arms with an even louder sigh.

 

Jaebum had heard snippets of the conversation from when Jinyoung would give him the run down when he got back home. Though Jaebum barely had enough time to listen before his lap was full of kids. He couldn’t pass up the opportunity however, to get a little bonding time with Bambam so he nodded anyway hoping he wouldn’t catch on.

 

“I know a bit.”

 

Bambam squinted as if he didn’t believe the words for a second but the moment he opened his mouth Jaebum could tell it had probably been killing to keep quiet for so long and he had to bite his lip to keep from laughing because as Bambam had prefaced his story with,

 

This was serious.

 

“So Lisa heard from one of the third graders that she can’t say the name of that Jennie who’s a fourth grader and that matters because we don’t talk to the fourth graders so this might not be true. But Jennie heard some kids gossiping at lunch that said they heard that Momo saw Jeongyeon kiss Jimin on the lips. On the _lips._ ”

 

“Oh that must have been nice.” Jaebum knew Jimin was a friendly kid from all the times he’d been over the house.

 

He was always doting over the younger boys while at the same time keeping Taehyung tight to his side and Jin would always gush about how thankful he was Jimin was so responsible.

 

He’d probably be excited to hear this.

 

“Oh my god _no_.” Bambam threw his hands up, “See you don’t know the story. I can’t tell you anymore.”

 

“What was it not nice?”

 

Bambam shook his head, “I’ve already said too much.”

 

Jaebum eyed him through the mirror he could tell by the way he leaned over and drummed his fingers against the backpack sat in his lap it wouldn’t be long before he was spouting off again.

 

“Is that so?” Jaebum asked.

 

“But,” he held up a finger, ”I will say Jimin pushed Jeongyeon off the swing set three days ago and they got into fight but Momo broke them up so they wouldn’t get in trouble which means Momo is a reliable source because everyone _knows_ that happened.  So they probably kissed.”

 

Jaebum blinked a few times wondering what any of this information meant but pleasantly surprised with Bambam journalism skills. The kid had a career ahead of him.

 

“But you can’t tell Uncle Jinnie anything…or Joon because then Jimin will get in trouble and if that happens Momo is going to think it’s Jennie because she’s a loud mouth and Jennie is going to think it was Lisa and Lisa is going to _know_   it was me.” He counted the names off his fingers, finishing with his index finger which he used to point at Jaebum,

“This is top secret.”

 

Jaebum would have held a hand to is heart if he wasn’t driving so instead he spared Bambam a nod in the mirror before he moved into the deceleration lane.

 

He noticed Youngjae had been oddly quiet through it all.

 

He kicked his feet and looked at the ground signaling something was up. Jaebum did a quick visual check to see he was wearing the same khaki shorts as this morning, which meant no accidents but decided not to start up the line of questioning in front of Bambam since his curiosity was starting to make Youngjae squirm no matter how much he tried to hide it.  Jinyoung was much better at getting things out of him than Jaebum was anyway.

 

He reached back once again to give Youngjae’s knee a squeeze, just to let him know he hadn’t forgotten about him.

 

They were only a few minutes away from home when Jaebum’s phone buzzed though he elected to ignore it. It was probably people down at the theatre anyway asking him to help the new kids with the little pet project they’d started up.

 

Jaebum didn’t actually know how he got involved with it, one moment he would give them a few quick pointers on how to set up a stage so the audience would focus on the right things, next they were asking him to be their supervisor and Jaebum didn’t think he could handle that on top of a wedding and five kids.

 

He let out a long sigh in frustration.

 

He slowed to a stop right outside their front door, the kids rushing out the car the moment Jaebum cut the engine and he would be lying if he said he didn’t feel a little slighted when they were so eager to get to the minivac they had become obsessed with.

 

It was then Jaebum finally noted the messages popping up on his phone.

 

**Jagiya**

 

_Dad’s cooking again can you make him stop?_

_3:24p.m_

 

_That was Jackson, I will not stop. I haven’t burned anything yet._

_3:27 p.m_

 

_He burned the pasta._

_3:30 p.m_

 

_That was also Jackson_

_3:35 p.m_

 

_Can you please get some lunchables on your way back?_

_3:36 p.m_

 

_Do not get lunchables Jackson just wanted lunchables._

_3:38 p.m_

 

_But can pick up some pasta while you’re out, y’know the type your mother always makes?_

_3:45 p.m_

 

 

Jaebum simply turned the key in the ignition and started off for the grocery store.

 

>>> 

 

If someone had asked Park Jinyoung what he thought he’d be doing Monday afternoon after having essentially fired his wedding planner and completely scrapped the layout for his reception a week and a half before he was supposed to say ‘I do’ he most certainly would not have said standing at the stove scratching at a hardened mess of what had formerly been spaghetti noodles.

 

Jackson sat behind him supposedly doing his homework but at some point he’d taken Jinyoung’s cellphone and began reading off the recipe for spaghetti and meatballs.

 

Jinyoung had thought certainly too much water would make the noodles mushy so he added just enough to cover the top and turned to help Jackson with his Chinese test.

 

During a debacle on whether or not using a textbook was considered cheating all the water boiled out and it was maybe five minutes later that Jackson swore he smelled something burning and Jinyoung simply shushed him saying he was trying to get out of translating the last section of the paragraph he’d been stuck on for the last ten minutes, then Jinyoung saw the dark clouds swirling over his head and that was the end of that.

 

“Can we just get pizza?” Jackson whined his voice muffled through the surgical mask he’d donned per Jinyoung’s request, though he didn’t seem to mind.

 

Jinyoung spared him a glare over his shoulder, “First of all get your feet out of my chair and second no we’re not getting pizza. I said I was making spaghetti so we’re having spaghetti.”

 

“We’re gonna have cancer too.” He mumbled.

 

Mark was at taekwondo since Jaebum thought he might want to work off his recent aggression and probably wouldn’t be home for another hour or two which Jinyoung thought was perfect timing since he’d definitely have dinner ready by then if Jaebum came back with the right noodles.

 

“This is so hard.” Jackson proclaimed. “Why couldn’t I have just taken Korean?”

 

Jinyoung dumped the ashes in the trash can then set the pot in the sink with soap and hot water to soak before peering over Jackson’s shoulder to see he’d only gotten two more words translated.

 

He grabbed the pencil Jackson had thrown across the table and erased the second word since he was pretty sure it didn’t have a direct English translation, “You’re the one that chose this, not me. I’m sure your grandmother would have loved to help you with your Korean.”

 

He shook his head. “I have to learn how to talk to…Yima?”

 

Jinyoung rested his head on top of Jackson’s, “Then quit your complaining and stop using google translate.” He took the phone from his hands pressing a kiss to his forehead.

 

“Dad.” He groaned scrubbing the kiss away with enough force to turn his skin red.

 

When Jinyoung heard the engine idling outside he went over to the door to see Youngjae coming up the steps, he would usually jump into Jinyoung’s arms and recount his day but he went right to the steps without so much as leaving his shoes by the door and there was a trail of dirt following behind him.

 

“…okay…”

 

“Ganga.” Jackson said just loud enough to be heard.

 

He peered out the open front door to see Jaebum sat at the wheel scrolling through the messages he probably hadn’t been able to read while driving then there was Yugyeom and Bambam racing each other up the steps, Bambam winning because Yugyeom decided to stop to wrap his little arms around Jinyoung’s knees.

 

“Good day today?”

 

“The best.” Yugyeom smiled up at him all red cheeked and breathless.

 

He waddled back to the stove to stir the sauce he had boiling with Yugyeom still attached to his knees. Thankfully the sauce had been saved from the same fate as the noodles and Jinyoung remembered the meatballs in the freezer.

 

He could probably stick those in the microwave

 

…right?

 

“Let me see I want to know Chinese too.” Bambam grumbled attempting to climb over the arm Jackson had protectively around his worksheet.

 

“No way I don’t want your sweat on my paper.”

 

“I’m not sweaty. See.” He swiped his hand across his forehead, proving he was indeed sweaty and Jackson groaned.

 

“I can’t work under these conditions.” He slammed his textbook shut, tucking it under one arm and his backpack under the other.

 

“Dinner is at six, if you’re not up here I’m not coming down to get you.” JInyoung called after him as he stomped down the stairs.

 

“You won’t have to we’re getting pizza anyway.”

 

Jinyoung continued to stir.

 

Bambam announced he was going in the backyard, grabbing the minivac from where it was hanging up in the storm room then off he went, Yugyeom unsurprisingly following right behind him.

 

Jinyoung deemed the sauce properly stirred then went to the freezer to excavate the meatballs from where they were buried under piles of frozen vegetables, all the while checking out the window to see Bambam hadn’t tried to scale the fence again.

 

He emptied the bag into a glass bowl and set it in the microwave. Five minutes sounded good so he punched in a few numbers and hit start throwing one last look out the window before going upstairs to see what was up with Youngjae.

 

He could tell by the lack of light pouring into the hall before he got all the way up the steps that the door was closed and Jinyoung had to take a deep breath before he gave a quick knock and poked his head in.

 

“Bad day?” He asked upon seeing Youngjae sat in a pile of toys, he wasn’t even playing with them just sitting and staring like he wasn’t sure what to do.

 

“Am I stupid?” he looked up slowly, hair falling away from his face to reveal his scarcely seen forehead.

 

“No. Of course you’re not stupid what would make you think something like that?” Jinyoung dropped down to a knee, crawling through a section of toy trucks and action figures to rest an arm around Youngjae’s slumped shoulders.

 

“I don’t know.”

 

“You can give me better than that.” Jinyoung leaned to down to try and catch Youngjae’s eye, “Did something happen in school today.”

 

Youngjae pulled his knees up under his chin looking down at the messily tied laces of his shoes. “I’m not stupid.” He said, though it came out as more of a question.

 

“No Youngjae you’re not stupid. Did someone tell you, you were?”

 

He drew closer, practically in Jinyoung’s lap so all Jinyoung had to do was give him a little nudge in the right direction and he wall nestled safely in his arms.

 

Jinyoung leaned down to press a kiss through his hair, “If something happens at school, you can tell me. I won’t tell your dad or your brothers. It’ll be between you and me okay?”

 

“Okay.”

 

“And you are not stupid, you are one of the smartest kids I have ever met. You try your best to do things on your own and you try to keep up with everyone. There’s some people out there that feel like they have to put people like you down just so they can feel better about what’s bothering them but what they say is not true.

 

“You’re my sunshine, don’t let anyone take that away from you.” he planted a kiss on the mole under his eye, thankful that at least one of kids would still let him do so.

 

Youngjae turned to look up at him curiously, “Mr.Park.”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Something burning?”

 

Jinyoung felt his eyes bug out of his head and he scrambled out of the room with Youngjae held tight to one hip, running down the steps so fast he nearly slipped on a sweater that had been tossed on the landing.

 

The first thing he noticed was the microwave was still on, the second being the smoke collecting behind the glass. He sat Youngjae down with the instruction that he held his breath until he got outside and once he was sure the back door was shut he yanked out the plug connecting the microwave to the wall then grabbed a dishcloth to pick up the appliance and speed walked to the front door where he sat the still burning hot metal on the ground daring to open the little door and release the plumes of smoke building behind it.

 

Disaster, sort of averted.

 

“Were those the meatballs?”

 

Jinyoung looked over his shoulder to see Jackson holding his t-shirt over his nose and the house phone in his hand.

 

“So that was two large pepperoni and a side of cinnamon bites?” a voice said over the receiver. “Your total is thirty one, seventy six.”

 

They shared a look. Jackson’s one of genuine curiosity while Jinyoung couldn’t decide how angry to be.

 

They remained in silence for a long time before the voice on the phone repeated the order and asked if anyone was there.

 

“It’s in the bedside table drawer.” Jinyoung said with a sigh referring to his wallet and Jackson nodded before bringing the phone up to his ear to give their address. “Don’t forget to take out something for the tip.”

 

>>> 

 It was an hour and a half later when Jaebum walked through the door, nose tingling with the scent of smoke. He noticed the front door had been shut though the windows remained open and the first thing he saw was Yugyeom staring down a stack of pizza boxes with his lip between his teeth.

 

“So no more spaghetti?” Jaebum asked holding up a bag full of the overly expensive pasta he had to drive all over town to find.

 

Jinyoung turned from the sink where he had been fiercely scrubbing at a pot full of something black. He swiped at the sweat that had formed on his forehead, blowing a short breath upward to dislodge a strand of hair that had fallen into his eye before turning back to the sink.

 

“Okay.” Jaebum said slowly. “You want to help me set the table?”

 

Yugyeom nodded, quickly dashing off to the back room to grab a stool that he placed under the dish cabinet.

 

“Take it two at a time kiddo, we don’t want anymore broken plates.”

 

Bambam ran in from god knows where shouting, “I’m really strong I can help.”

 

“Nuh-uh. I’m stronger that’s why he asked me to help first.” Yugyeom stuck his tongue out, holding a plate nearly the size of his whole body against his chest.

 

“But my dad says I’m strongest _all_   the time.”

 

“So does mine.”

 

Jaebum dropped the grocery bag on the counter next to what might have been a pan of something edible at one point then went to gather Bambam up to sit on his shoulder so he could reach the paper towels on top of the fridge.

 

“You’re both strong in your own way.” He smiled up at Bambam who’d suddenly turned red.

 

“I want up too.” Yugyeom stood on the tips of his toes still holding the same plate.

 

Jaebum would’ve happily held the two of them on his shoulders but it was almost six and Jinyoung had a schedule to keep so he just gave Yugyeom’s hair a ruffle and let Bambam down to start tearing off sections of paper towel to act as place mats.

 

“I think we might have spoiled him with all the carrying recently.” Jaebum commented.

 

Jinyoung didn’t even bother turning around that time, just kept up the scrubbing and ignoring routine.

 

Jaebum wasn’t sure if he was still angry with him for Friday night, which he had every right to be since Jaebum should have thought about his fiance before he went ahead and did something silly like that.

 

But honestly,

 

How much apologizing could a guy do?

 

Mark came up next freshly showered from taekwondo and went straight to helping set the table, with the cheap plastic cups Jinyoung kept buying since it didn’t seem to matter what the cups were made of they always ended up broken into a million pieces and he’d much rather sweep up plastic than spend the night patting the floor down with slices of bread picking up shattered glass.

 

Jaebum went to lean against the counter beside the sink peering beneath the curtain of hair Jinyoung had over his face to see a frown etched into his cheeks. He wanted to dip to kiss it away but of course then Jackson walked in and proclaimed PDA was strictly forbidden in the presence of children.

 

“It’s _gross_.” He pulled Jaebum over to the stove, “You must stay a minimum of four feet away from my dad.”

 

“Hm, like this?” Jaebum scooted closer so he could hook a finger in one of Jinyoung’s belt loops.

 

Jackson rolled his eyes, “That’s even worse.”

 

“How about,” Jinyoung moved away and Jaebum felt his smile falter slightly, “You go tell Youngjae food is ready.”

 

Jackson groaned.

 

“And you,” he didn’t even look Jaebum in the eye just pointed in the direction of the pizza box, “Do something useful.” He went back to scrubbing though Jaebum could see his hands had started to turn red from the temperature of the water.

 

Jaebum dropped his voice down to a whisper, “You can’t be mad at me forever can you?”

 

The last thing Jinyoung could do when it came to Jaebum was hold a grudge. Even in his most explosive states of anger, he’d have probably forgiven him before the first words slipped from his mouth. But Jaebum knew he liked to keep up the façade for a long as possible so he wouldn’t feel like he was giving in too easily.

 

“Can we talk about it later?” Jinyoung nodded toward the boys that had gathered around the table and Yugyeom looking over at them as if he could sense something wrong.

 

“It being Friday?”

 

“It being something I don’t want to talk about right now.” He finally spared Jaebum a look though Jaebum would be lying if he said he wasn’t off put by that fact that it was a glare.

 

He dropped his arms that had found their way around Jinyoung’s waist and cleared his throat, “Okay.”

 

“Okay.”

 

Jaebum busied himself with doing as Jinyoung asked or he’d end up worrying himself sick thinking of all the ways he could possibly convey his apologies.

 

The second the pizza was down Yugyeom and Bambam tore into their respective slices, probably another race of some sort and Jaebum gave each of their ears a tug signaling them to stop before one or both of them ended up choking.

 

Jackson returned a little while after with Youngjae in tow, Jaebum noticing immediately the later of the two was still looking as worn down as he had earlier.

 

“Did you get some time to rest up there?” Jaebum asked once he’d finished with the first box.

 

Youngjae nodded then shook his head looking up as if he wasn’t sure what he was really being asked.

 

“I think he just needs a little food in him and he’ll be fine.” Jinyoung had teleported from the sink to beside Jackson and he pat the seat beside him for Youngjae to sit.

 

“Speaking of food since nobody’s opened it yet-“

 

“Jackson if you touch that pizza you’re losing a finger.”

 

Jackson sat back in his chair, “You didn’t even let me finish.”

 

* * *

 

Dinner ended with cinnamon bites and power rangers then homework and baths so by the time Jinyoung had changed into his night clothes and began untucking the bedsheets, Jaebum had worked himself up to chewing on lip while he sorted all the laundry into piles, sitting cross legged on the floor.

 

“Okay. I think…we should talk.” Jinyoung said flopping on to the freshly unmade bed.

 

Jaebum immediately tossed the pile of Bambam’s clothes that he’d been in the middle of refolding since his hands had started to shake to the floor fully prepared to begin his apology speech. “You go first.”

 

“No I think you should.” He sat up then, still avoiding any form of eye contact.

 

Jaebum took a deep breath, “So about Friday yeah that was stupid of me to drink like that and I shouldn’t have put it on you to take care of everything because I’m an adult and I should know when enough is enough.”

 

Jinyoung sighed eyes trained on the ceiling, “I’m not mad about Friday.”

 

“I know you’re not mad but you deserve an apology.” He sat at the edge of the bed reaching out to take one of Jinyoung’s hands in his own, “I’m sorry.”

 

Jinyoung looked down at where their hands connected, how Jaebum’s fingers traced small patterns into his wrist without thought from their owner, “I’m over that, you realized you were wrong there’s nothing more to say.”

 

“Then what’s up with you today?”

 

He muttered something under his breath and Jaebum could feel Jinyoung’s hand tense beneath his.

 

“Jinyoung.”

 

He took in a breath then repeated himself, voice just high enough for Jaebum to hear him say “I burnt everything.”

 

At first, he remained quiet.

 

Caught between relief that the Friday issue had been effectively solved and shelved and the laugh trying so hard to burst out that Jinyoung had been avoiding him all night because he was embarrassed over burnt spaghetti.

 

Jaebum chose the latter.

 

“It’s not funny.” Jinyoung groaned, “I followed a recipe and everything. I’m awful.”

 

“First of all,” Jaebum managed to say after he calmed down enough to form words, “thank you for trying. And second,” he used his index finger to tip Jinyoung’s chin upward so at last they could look at each other properly, “Don’t talk about my fiance like that.”

 

“I burnt _everything_  Jaebum, you’re marrying an actual fire hazard.”

 

“I accepted that risk when I put a ring on your finger.”

 

“Can you be serious for a second. I try to cook for my family and I can’t even do that right.”

 

“So then this isn’t about burnt spaghetti?”

 

“It’s about burnt spaghetti, Jackson and Mark not talking, Bambam’s mood swings, Yugyeom not standing up for himself and Youngjae…“

 

“What’s up with Youngjae?”

 

Jaebum had noticed how off he’d been all day but he had spent more time worried about Jinyoung than Youngjae. School could tire him out as far as Jaebum knew especially with all the activity they’d been getting up to recently.

 

“Nothing,” he said with closed eyes, “Nothing is wrong with Youngjae, I just thought the boys would be getting along better but they’re not and…I don’t know. I feel like maybe we should pay more attention to them, wedding or not they have to come first.”

 

“I promise you, they’re fine. There’s just some stuff you have to let them work out for themselves.”

 

“I know I know.”

 

“And we can’t force them to talk about what’s going on we just have to wait.”

 

He groaned falling back amongst the pillows, “I’m tired of waiting.”

 

Jaebum ran his fingers along the length of exposed skin between the waistband of Jinyoung’s sweatpants and his night shirt, “Jagi.”

 

“Cut it out.” He swatted at the touch weakly at the same time he tried not to laugh.

 

“Stop worrying.”

 

“I can’t help it, I want a sign we’re doing the right thing here.”

 

“What do you mean?” Jaebum asked though if the tight feeling in his chest was anything to go by he already knew.

 

Jinyoung took one of his fingers between his own to hold it steady and as if that were answer enough Jaebum sighed for probably the thousandth time that day.

 

They didn’t say anything for a while after that, just breathed in the other’s air. It wasn’t until it started to rain that Jinyoung began to move once again.

 

He sat up on his elbows getting ready to go catch up to Bambam before he wound up on the front porch once again. He already had a leg swung off the bed when there was a knock on their door.

 

“It’s open.” He called.

 

The door creaked when it swung open, momentarily drawing Jaebum’s attention to the hinges and away from the two people stood in the frame, hand in hand.

 

“I don’t like the rain.” Bambam said drawing closer to Yugyeom while at the same time squeezing his fingers so hard Jaebum was sure Yugyeom had to be feeling something.

 

“I don’t like sleeping alone.” Yugyeom drew closer to Bambam.

 

Jaebum threw a look behind him at Jinyoung still half sprawled out over the mattress.

 

 _There’s your sign right there._  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Get out your violins because we got a story, 
> 
>  
> 
> So I've been gone for quite some time due to school, depression, family drama and a lot of other things I don't really want to talk about however I'm doing great now so no worries but it was really hard to write when there were so many other things that needed my attention but I did say there would not be months between uploads which I have just barely stuck to.  
> This is probably not up to the standard set by all the other chapters but I really had no idea what to do so I kinda just made it up as I went along and if it doesn't make sense I'll rewrite it but for now this is what I got for you guys.  
> I did say Yugyeom and Youngjae would get more love this chapter and as you can tell I kinda failed on that front so I’ll keep trying to give everyone their own section because this felt way too JJP focused.  
> I sort of accidentally started a chapter starting/ending with JJP trend and with this one being so short that’s alll I was really able to get around to  
> Also I think back in chapter three Jinyoung says 'Jagi' but I've noticed Jaebum says it alot more so I changed that to 'hyung' so if in the future you see that now you know why. There's a few other little lines I've changed or added that don't affect the story up to this point so if you've already read this far there's no need to go back and find them  
> Lastly, I don't have a specific upload schedule because I can't really make one right now but I really don't want to update with a chapter that just says "I'm updating soon" and to stave off comments asking when I'm going to update I've decided to put myself on a very (very) tentative schedule by replying to comments if I get any 3-4 days before an upload so you guys know when you can expect an update because that’s definitely one of my favorite parts of the after-upload stage and I'm not driving myself crazy trying to throw something together.
> 
> Thank you to everyone that has been sticking around or if you’re just joining the crazy random ride of Blended thank you, I’m not usually this much of a downer in my end notes and let me know what you think about this chapter. 
> 
> See you soon...ish. 
> 
> Minor Spoiler:  
> Lullaby was just released as of me writing this and Jaebum in converse and a suit will definitely not a appear in the wedding scene...
> 
>  
> 
> Probably.


	6. We Don't

The first thing Jaebum became aware of when he woke up too late Tuesday morning was Bambam’s arm throw across his face and Yugyeom snuggled up on his chest with the blanket balled up in his fists. Mark sitting at the end of the bed looking up at the tv and Jackson squeezed in next to Youngjae stretched out in the spot where Jinyoung should have been.

 

He distinctly remembered falling asleep with two children in his bed but it wasn’t _that_  uncommon to wake up with five little people crammed into the small space. If Jaebum hadn’t felt so out of sorts he might have been able to enjoy their presence. After all, it wasn’t often he got the chance to have them all together to complete the strange puzzle they were.

 

He blinked rapidly attempting to adjust to the light streaming through the window, too bright for the earliness of the hour. Once his vision cleared he gently placed Bambam’s arm onto the pillow then sat up slowly as not to disturb Yugyeom when he shifted down to his lap making small grumbling sounds with the disturbance. He twisted his head to the left then to the right to work out the knot that had formed from the way he had been propped up against the pillows.

 

Jaebum spent much of the night awake, listening to Jinyoung try to calm Bambam enough to get him to sleep. At first he was a mess of half finished sentences and clung to Jinyoung like a baby in the hardest of the rain but he gradually calmed down with the storm and the last Jaebum remembered Bambam was retelling the story of Jimin and Jeongyeon while Jinyoung pat his back tiredly and hummed every time he was asked if he was listening.

 

Yugyeom seemed to be the only one out of the four of them that was able to get any real sleep. He laid comfortably in the middle of the bed between the warmth of both parents completely unbothered. All he ever needed was cuddles and he was good to go.

 

“School’s cancelled.” Mark said, he took Yugyeom into his own lap after seeing Jaebum’s predicament causing the six year-old to let out a huff. All Mark had to do was pat his head in the right place and he was back to snoring.

 

Jaebum ignored the guilt swirling in the back of his mind at how simple the action seemed for Mark, as if he’d done it a thousand times.

 

He turned his attention to the television seeing the words ‘heat wave’ crawling across the screen with a giant sun sporting glasses and a smile in the corner above the weatherman, smiling, as he relayed all the schools being closed.  

 

When they called the two in particular Jaebum was listening out for, Mark threw another look over his shoulder. “It’s 98 degrees already.” The statement was backed up by the news anchor tugging uncomfortably at the collar of his dress shirt.

 

Jaebum slipped from underneath the covers wondering out loud where Jinyoung had gone.

 

Mark opened his mouth to answer shutting it before he could get a word out when the toilet flushed in the hall bathroom. “He’s been in there all morning.” He said, voice dropped down to a whisper.

 

It was then Jaebum noted the time on the bedside clock, well past when he should be dressed and on his way to work. He could hear the air conditioner rumbling through the floorboards and Youngjae mumbling in his sleep probably contributing factors to his late start. Jinyoung had been stingy about turning it on all summer stating he was protecting the environment.

 

Jaebum held in the sigh trying to fight its way out thinking of the lecture he’d get from his boss, and the cast, and the crew and…

 

He dragged his feet on the way to the bathroom, still not ready to face Jinyoung probably with his own speech prepared. He gave the door a few tentative knocks.

 

When there was no response he pushed it open, just enough so he could peak inside.

 

“Jin-what the hell?” he rushed over to his fiance, the younger man sat on the floor sweating and shivering, hunched over the toilet seat with his arms hugged tightly around his stomach. Jaebum pressed a hand to his forehead only to snatch it back even quicker as if he’d been burned.

 

“School is-“ Jinyoung began, cut off by a dry heave.

 

Jaebum ducked his head in an attempt to catch his eyes, “Cancelled. I know. I’m not worried about that right now.” He propped Jinyoung up against the bath tub with a steadying hand on his stomach, “I’m more worried about you.”

 

There were piles of tissue piled up around them and the night shirt Jinyoung had gone to bed in balled up in the sink, the one he had changed into was damp and sticking to him in a way that had to have been uncomfortable especially considering Jaebum was pretty sure it was another one of his.

 

Jinyoung struggled to open his eyes. He’d get one half up, revealing the whites but it soon fluttered shut and he groaned. Though Jaebum couldn’t tell if it was more out of frustration or pain.

 

While Jaebum could function on a few hours of sleep, Jinyoung was on the complete opposite end of the spectrum and once again Jaebum had to stamp down on the guilt shooting through him when he realized maybe Jinyoung wouldn’t be in such bad shape if Jaebum had taken Bambam and he could have gotten the proper rest.

 

His eyes were sunken in, mouth slightly open desperately trying to take in more air that if Jaebum were to guess by the way his chest rose and fell in such an erratic rhythm, his lungs weren’t taking in.

 

Jaebum pushed the sweat drenched hair away from his face, “What am I gonna do with you?”

 

He caught the corners of Jinyoung’s mouth twitching upward in the smallest ghost of smile and Jaebum wanted to duck in to kiss those lips but while he’d been covered in far worse, having raised three toddlers (five if he was being realistic) he really wasn’t keen on the puke breath.

 

“Is he okay?” Mark asked from the door. He clung to the frame half in, half out.

 

Jinyoung conjured a weak smile to reassure him, he tried saying something that might have been a response as well but couldn’t quite form the words.

 

Jaebum had seen Jinyoung sick before, much sicker than he was then. Even so it never ceased to scare him. How Jinyoung turned an unhealthy color of green, trembling even though the hand grasping weakly at his forearm felt as if it was melting his skin.

 

The last time Jaebum had seen him with more than a cough was when they were in high school and the flu had been going around. Jinyoung, being the genius he was decided it was a great idea to crawl up onto the roof with a blanket around his shoulders and use Jaebum as his personal heating pack so they could watch the thanksgiving parade going on a few streets over. Despite his parents buying him enough chicken soup and cold medicine to stock a CVS for the apocalypse Jinyoung was adamant nothing would do him better than Jaebum’s shoulder and strawberry soda. The next day he wound up in the hospital with IV’s in his arms.

 

Looking down at the man before him Jaebum felt an awful realization that just might end up happening again.

 

He checked to see Mark still standing in the doorway looking down at Jinyoung with his eyes blown wide. “Look at me Mark.” Jaebum said, pushing his own panic to the back of his mind.

 

Mark’s eyes drifted over to him like pulling his gaze away from Jinyoung was physically painful by the brief grimace that flashed across his face.

 

“He’s fine.” It was probably just a version of the cold Yugyeom had come down with and Jaebum was certain the only reason he was getting so worried was because he didn’t want the boys to worry. Not because Jinyoung would never forget to wake him up for work, to pester him about a good morning kiss or pass over the opportunity to cuddle up in bed with the kids no matter how off he felt.

 

Jinyoung offered another attempt at a smile, proving he was indeed lucid.

 

Jaebum didn’t believe the gesture himself and he didn’t have to give Mark a look to know he wasn’t buying it either. “Alright, we’re taking you to the hospital.”  

 

“No.” Jinyoung moaned, batting at the air. Though, when Jaebum went to sweep him up in his arms there was no strength left in his body to fight and Jinyoung all but collapsed in Jaebum’s hold.

 

Jaebum wondered if he squeezed him tight enough maybe he’d start feeling better just as Yugyeom had, though he had a much better cuddle buddy.

 

“I’ll have Jin over in an hour, you think you can handle your brothers until then?” Jaebum shook his head when Mark nodded, not having taken even a second to think about what he was agreeing to, “You don’t have to, I’m asking.”

 

“You have to take care of-“

 

“You. You and the rest of my family,” he spared Jinyoung a soft smile, “If you don’t think you can that’s fine, he’s just a little out of it right now I promise you he’s okay.”

 

Jaebum was certain Mark could handle Yugyeom and Youngjae by himself, he’d ended up having to do just that many more times than Jaebum would have liked to admit to himself but adding Bambam and Jackson (despite how much of an adult the eleven year old swore he was) on top of that was something Mark had never done without at least Heechul around to pretend to watch over them all.

 

Mark glimpsed over his shoulder, probably into the bedroom where Bambam had shifted so he was practically _underneath_  Youngjae and Jackson had began to move around in his sleep. He nodded once again, his attention falling back to Jaebum. “I can handle it.” He set his mouth in a line and for a second he seemed much older than his twelve years would have led one to believe.

 

Jaebum felt his chest swell with pride, surprised with himself for raising such a responsible preteen (he was still having a hard time accepting that Mark was getting so close to the terrible teens. He could raise a toddler but teenagers were a different story) he ducked down to give Mark a kiss to the forehead, “One hour.”

 

He squeezed out the door sideways with Mark still hovering over him, splitting his attention between the stairs and Jinyoung. In that position with his head tucked into Jaebum’s shoulder Jaebum could hear his breath coming out in short puffs.

 

Yugyeom had exhibited much of the same symptoms when he crawled into bed with Jaebum just days before only on a smaller scale to match his small body. Jaebum briefly wondered if he was being over dramatic, Yugyeom was fine after some rest and Nyquil maybe all Jinyoung really needed was a kid free bed.

 

One helpless whimper from Jinyoung was all it took for him to shake the thought away before it even had a chance to take root.

 

Jaebum whispered reassurances into his hair as they made their way through the mine field of shoes, hotwheels and scattered crayons.

 

It was a slow trip out to the car. Jaebum had to stop to slip into his shoes and grab his keys off the hook. Mark following behind him silently like a shadow. Eventually they made it, the sun beaming down on them causing Jinyoung to shiver for some reason.

 

Jaebum got him situated in the passenger’s seat with his head lolling in to the crook between the window and the headrest, then rounded to the driver’s side. He smiled over at Mark standing in the doorway, mustering every last bit of compassion into the expression.

 

Mark held up his pointer finger mouthing the words, “One hour.”

 

“One hour,” Jaebum said even though he was sure Mark wouldn’t be able to hear. He gave one of Jinyoung’s knees a squeeze.

 

“No hospital.” Jinyoung complained, his trembling fingers curled into his palms to try to hold on to some of the heat escaping them.

 

Jaebum gave in to his urges and kissed a sweat slick cheek.

 

He turned the key in the ignition then pulled off, holding Mark’s figure in the rearview mirror for as long as possible before he disappeared.

 

>>>

 

 As soon as the door closed Mark could practically feel his resolve being sucked right out of him.

 

He checked the clock stationed in the living room,

 

Fifty-nine minutes.

 

He could handle fifty-nine minutes.

 

He took in a deep breath then went to the kitchen to find something for everyone to eat. That was always the first thing on their minds after they rolled out of bed. If he was diligent Mark was sure he could make something half as good as Jaebum but that idea was abandoned the second he caught Yugyeom walking in out the corner of his eye just as he reached for the box of pancake mix.

 

“Where’s dad?” Yugyeom came to a stop beside his brother still blinking sleep out of his eyes.

 

Mark grabbed the box of fruity pebbles with one hand then the box of frosted flakes in the other. When Yugyeom pointed to the frosted flakes he got out one of the plastic bowls except, before he could add the cereal Yugyeom reached out for the box to do it himself.

 

“The doctor.” Mark said, not wanting to lie but not really wanting to explain what went on while the rest of the house snoozed away. It made a sick feeling settle in the bottom of his stomach just thinking about it, he could only imagine how it would make the little ones feel.

 

“How come we don’t have school?”

 

Mark tipped the box up before they wound up with cereal all over the floor, answering the question at the same time he replaced the box atop the fridge, “It’s closed because of the heat.”

 

“Oh…okay.” Yugyeom said carrying his bowl over to his usual spot with a spoon that had a picture of a cat printed on the handle. He scooted his chair up to the table while Mark got out the milk.

 

“Hey Mark, can we go outside?”

 

“Maybe, when it cools down.”

 

“Okay.” He shoveled a spoon full of cereal into his mouth once Mark finished pouring and chewed, kicking his feet under the table at the same time in what Jaebum had dubbed as his happy dance. “Best day ever.”

 

Mark breathed out slowly, Yugyeom was easiest to handle in his opinion, only ever needing something to occupy his attention. It was when he got around other people that he turned into a monster.

 

“Why did dad have to go to the doctor?” Yugyeom paused mid bite tilting his head to the left so he could look up at Mark.

 

Before Mark had to make up an excuse Jackson stumbled down the stairs looking around the living room like he wasn’t sure where he was, he looked between Yugyeom and Mark then screamed at the top of his lungs, “Dad?”

 

He ran yanked the front door open, standing on the tips of his toes to see if their cars were still outside. “Dad?” he continued.

 

Yugyeom continued eating.

 

Mark rested his cheek on his fist, waiting patiently for Jackson to put two and two together.

 

“Does this mean we have the house to ourselves? Cause Hoseok finally let me borrow resident evil.” He grabbed the fruit bowl off the top shelf of the refrigerator then set it down in the center of the table with a half eaten bag of gummy worms.

 

Mark lit up at that, Hoseok bought it up a few weeks ago how he guilt tripped Namjoon into buying it for him after he was late picking him up from dance practice. He’d only played it once before giving it to Jackson using the excuse ‘it was boring’ though really if you asked Mark he was too much of a scaredy cat to handle anything above all the super Mario games he had.

 

“And I totally forgot my science project, this is like…the best day ever.” He said with half a worm hanging from his lips.

 

Yugyeom jumped in his seat, “That’s what I said.”

 

Jackson ruffled his hair, a simple action that had just a small amount of jealousy shooting through Mark before he shook it off and swallowed it down with a green worm.

 

“I wanna play.” Bambam yelled from where he was stationed at the top of the steps. He ran down two at a time, his tiredness forgotten for the time being.

 

Jackson rolled his eyes, “You’re gonna have nightmares then dad’s gonna find out then I’ll be grounded forever.”

 

“You never let me play.” Bambam whined, “If you don’t let me play I’m gonna tell dad when he gets back.” He crossed his arms over his chest, setting his face in concentration.

 

Jackson slammed the refrigerator shut, “You’re so annoying.”

 

Bambam shrugged knowing he’d won.

 

“Can I play too?” Yugyeom asked, cheeks full of cereal and milk dribbling down his chin.

 

Mark bit his lip, this was probably the point he should step in and say no one was playing since Jinyoung was adamant about keeping such games out of the house. For good reason as well, Youngjae wouldn’t sleep in his own bed for a week after he saw the opening scene of bioshock.

 

If Mark was being honest however, he wouldn’t mind watching. It was always hilarious seeing Jackson fail a million times and scream whenever he swore his character did something it clearly didn’t. It was even better when they played versus mode and Jackson swore Mark cheated.

 

Mark cracked a smile remembering the time Jackson made him play with his eyes closed and still lost.

 

“I won’t get scared I promise.” Yugyeom held his hand to his heart probably something he picked up from someone else.

 

Jackson looked like he might say no, he drummed his fingers against the counter top with his eyes screwed shut but then he opened them with a tentative, “Fine-but,” he stole a bite of Yugyeom’s cereal. “If you guys have nightmares I’ll deny everything.”

 

They both cheered reminding Mark of Youngjae missing from their group, he was hardly surprised though. The kid could sleep like a rock any day of the week.

 

Mark excused himself after checking to make sure Jackson was helping Bambam fix his bowl then up the stairs he went, finding Youngjae spread out in the center of the bed with the pillows thrown all over the floor and the blanket laying awkwardly over his legs. He snored loud as ever, unbothered by the noise coming from downstairs that Mark wanted nothing to do with.

 

He checked the clock once again.

 

Fifty minutes.

 

He would get Youngjae up, get him breakfast, they’d all play games together then Jin would come and Mark could ride his skateboard around the block until either he got sick of it or Jaebum called him in for dinner.

 

Despite the air pouring through the vents the temperature was still just a little too high and Mark could see the beads of sweat clinging to his forehead when he pulled Youngjae up to a sitting position, patting his chest and whispering ‘wake up’ but after five minutes of that and an exasperated “Move Bambam” from Jackson downstairs he went to the age old technique of grabbing his ankles and pulling him off the bed so he landed on the collection of pillows on the floor with a little grunt.

 

“No, no, no.” he groaned, curling up against a pillow.

 

“Come on you have to get breakfast.”

 

If he didn’t get Youngjae up then, he’d probably be up all night. Then Jaebum would be annoyed and Jinyoung would be annoyed and Mark would be annoyed and Mark _hated_  being annoyed because it usually wasn’t far after that he ended up angry.

 

“ _No_.” Youngjae defended.

 

Mark closed his eyes, counted to the three, then opened them. He was supposed to do the deep breathing thing too but that never worked, it made his chest flutter in such a strange way he wasn’t sure if he was calming down or getting even more upset.

 

“You can take the pillow I just need you to come downstairs.”

 

Youngjae peaked out of the corner of his eye, squinting in suspicion. He sat up fully, clutching the pillow to his chest with both arms, “No school?”

 

Mark shook his head.

 

Jackson ran up the steps cheering when the news came in. He scooped Youngjae up when he stumbled out of his room completely dazed and started singing Queen, not long after that the three of them wound up in bed with Jinyoung when he asked them all to be quiet so he could sleep a little longer before work and Youngjae just crawled onto the mattress and was back to snoring within minutes. Jackson made himself comfortable between Jinyoung’s knees flipping through channels but even he didn’t last long before he fell asleep with his backpack still on his shoulders.

 

Mark would’ve fallen asleep too at the foot of the bed but then he saw Jinyoung rushing to the bathroom and he couldn’t say why but for some reason he couldn’t close his eyes for more than a second without worrying something was wrong. (The constant retching coming from behind the door didn’t help either)

 

Youngjae got to his feet (pillow in hand of course) looking up at Mark expectantly.

 

“I’m not carrying you.” He said.

 

Youngjae didn’t budge.

 

* * *

 

 

“I want a piggy back ride too, that’s not fair.” Yugyeom pouted when Mark entered the kitchen dropping Youngjae and his pillow off beside the sink where Bambam was stuffing mushy cereal down the garbage disposal.

 

“Are you finished eating yet?” he looked down at the unfinished bowl of food with a quirked eyebrow. He refused to break his resolve twice in one morning. If he started picking up Yugyeom then Bambam would want a ride too and the cycle would never end.

 

Youngjae picked an orange out of the fruit bowl and set to work peeling it, though between his blunt nails and chubby fingers Mark knew he’d eventually have to do the real work.

 

Yugyeom glared up at him as if Mark had done something wrong, “You’re not fair.”

 

“Baby.” Bambam said under his breath.

 

“I’m not a baby.” He set his lips in a pout that was very baby-like in Mark’s opinion but he kept his mouth shut.

 

“Sure you aren’t,” Bambam said with a shrug.

 

“I’m not!” Yugyeom went stomping into the living room to watch Jackson set up his game system, throwing himself on the couch with all the force of a teddy bear.

 

Mark counted to three.

 

Forty minutes.

 

“You can’t say that.” Youngjae added.

 

Bambam turned from the sink to say, “I can say whatever I want cause you’re not the boss of me.”

 

“But it’s mean. You can’t be mean.”

 

Mark smiled down at him, his speech had improved so much recently. He felt a strange sense of pride watching his little brother go from barely being able to string two coherent words together to trading comebacks with the resident motor mouth.

 

“I’m not mean, he acts like a baby so he’s a baby.”

 

“No. I’m. Not.” Yugyeom screamed.

 

Jackson threw the tv remote down in frustration, “Will you guys shut-up I can’t focus.”

 

“You can’t tell me what to do!” Bambam reached up to turn the garbage disposal on but most of his attention remained on Jackson.

 

Mark stared between the two of them wondering who’s side to take. Wondering if he should say anything at all or let them yell at each other until it wasn’t his problem anymore.

 

Maybe if he’d said something earlier, when voices started to raise and smiles turned to scowls Bambam would’ve remembered his fingers were still down the drain covered in cereal bits, maybe Mark would have remembered exactly why he and Yugyeom were forbidden from using the garbage disposal, maybe there wouldn’t have been a blood curdling scream as Bambam flicked the switch upward and the grinders turned on.

 >>>

 

_What an idiot_

 

Jinyoung thought as he looked over at Jaebum sitting in one of the uncomfortable metal fold up chairs against the wall. A jacket haphazardly thrown over his chest, head pillowed against the equally uncomfortable wall and his mouth hung open, if Jinyoung squinted he could see drool running down his chin.

 

He smiled to himself, finding the mess before him more attractive than when he spent an hour in the bathroom running gel through his hair and trying to get the perfectly smudged eye liner.

 

_My idiot_

 

There was a tube connected to a needle that was inserted into his inner arm and held down by tape, the whole contraption keeping a steady stream of saline flowing through his veins. His pajamas had been replaced by a thin hospital gown that made him feel much more exposed than he actually was when the air hit him in the wrong spot and his socks were the thick brown kind with the little rubber lines on the bottom.

 

The air carried the trademark hospital smell that made Jinyoung crinkle his nose in disgust, he could see the hallway from his position in bed if he raised his head enough and there was a woman old enough to be his grandmother walking towards his door.

 

“Finally you’re up.” She said, too perky for how subdued Jinyoung felt said as she promptly stuck a thermometer in his mouth, “Still a little high but it’s a lot better than when you came in.”

 

His cheeks heated up when he remembered Jaebum carrying into the emergency room, his brain was still a little fuzzy about the whole incident but he had a feeling those memories were best kept for the dark part of his mind reserved for ever growing list of embarrassing moments with Im Jaebum.

 

Jinyoung watched out of the corner of his eye as the nurse went over to the assortment of machines at his bedside, clicking buttons and humming a tune to herself.

 

“You gave sleepy head over there quite the scare.”

 

His gaze drifted back over to Jaebum, Jinyoung could cough the wrong way and he’d claim it was a sign of the end. He was less surprised with the fact that he was in the hospital Jaebum not having called a funeral director already.

 

“It’s a miracle he’s asleep now, I didn’t think he blinked at first.”

 

Jinyoung tried to respond but his words shriveled up in his throat that felt surprisingly raw.

 

“Stomach acid, not good for the esophagus.” She slid over a tray that held an assortment of multi-color jello, “Take your pick, they all taste the same.”

 

Jinyoung settled for an orange cup that tasted like something so generic he couldn’t describe it if he wanted to. He threw it back in one gulp, the coolness momentarily soothed his burning throat.

 

“Now we can get to the fun stuff. Sir?” she called over to Jaebum causing him to stir.

 

He looked around in confusion before his eyes fell on Jinyoung and he was up in a second, hair clung to one side of his head and sticking up in every direction on the other. Probably from running his hands through it if Jinyoung hand to guess.

 

Jaebum brushed the tubes hanging above him away from his face like he was one of the most delicate things in the world at the same he clutched Jinyoung’s hand like if he let go Jinyoung might shatter.

 

Jinyoung could feel the heat in his face rising with the action but was grateful nonetheless. It was so far away from how they used to be, when Jaebum wouldn’t even let their hands brush without flinching. When Jinyoung was more afraid of giving his boyfriend a kiss on the cheek than the repercussions that came afterward.

 

The nurse chuckled with a shake of her head, “You, my dear friend have a very bad bug floating around inside of you.”

 

“He’ll be okay, right?” Jaebum asked squeezing Jinyoung’s hand just a bit too tight to be comfortable and Jinyoung did his best to squeeze back.

 

She nodded, “Some antibiotics, extra rest, you’ll be good to go in no time. This is honestly a case of someone not taking care of themselves properly.”

 

They both breathed out a sigh of relief, Jinyoung hadn’t realized how worried he was that just maybe he’d pushed his body too far this time.

 

When he felt the pressure from Jaebum’s hand let up, Jinyoung peaked up at him out the corner of eye. That was one of the many reasons he fell for the guy.

 

They both didn’t know when to relax.

 

“You’re lucky, if you hadn’t come in when you did it could have been much worse. There’s only so many fluids you can lose before bad things start happening.” She made sure to look Jinyoung directly in the eye, like she was chastising a bratty child and Jinyoung cowered under the look, “The doctor should be around in about half an hour to make sure you’re all set to head home so sit tight.” She gave one last smile before she was walking out the door yelling for someone to page Dr.Kim.

 

As soon as her figure disappeared down the hall Jaebum attacked Jinyoung with a flurry of kisses that left him trying not to laugh and risk agitating his throat. It ended with a long one to the lips tasting of strawberry and mint.

 

When they broke apart Jaebum was smiling so hard his eyes disappeared and all Jinyoung could see were the little moles peaking out beneath his brow. He yanked Jaebum down by the neck of his t-shirt to press a kiss into them because hell, he could be sappy too if no one was around.

 

“I was worried.”

 

“You don’t say.” Jinyoung said his voice raspy.

 

Jaebum shook his head, “Hold the sass I don’t think your throat can take it.” He held out a red jello cup that Jinyoung downed in one go, “You didn’t see how bad you looked this morning and you heard what she said it could have been worse.”

 

Jinyoung shivered at the thought, he’d been feeling off most of the week but he chalked it up to stress but knowing just how easily things could have gone south if he didn’t have a family full of drama kings made him feel a lot more guilty than he had been that morning when the first wave of sickness passed over him.

 

“I guess…I owe you a thank you or something?”

 

“Or something.” Jaebum said with a wink.

 

Jinyoung rolled his eyes, “What about the kids?”

 

He remembered they were out of school for some reason or another. Last thing Jinyoung could recall clearly they were all in varying stages of sleep, tucked snuggly under the blankets with the news playing in the background that Jaebum might have put on when he woke up briefly.

 

“Jin’s watching them you’ve got nothing to worry about.”

 

Jinyoung breathed out slowly if Jaebum had said Heechul, doctor be damned he’d run all the way home dragging the IV stand and Jaebum along with him.  

 

“Did they see anything?”

 

“Just Mark.”

 

“What?” he tried to sit up but Jaebum was quicker, hands shooting out to hold him steady, “He knows I’m okay right?”

 

“Yes, I sent him a message the moment they had you stabilized. Everything is fine, you just rest.” He shifted the pillows so Jinyoung could lay flat against the bed.

 

Jinyoung nodded.

 

Rest.

 

All he had to do was rest.

 

“But okay, shouldn’t he hear my voice? Cause if it was me I’d want to hear my voice.”

 

Jaebum checked out in the hall, momentarily leaving his fiance’s side to close the door so there was only a tiny sliver of light peaking through, the hustle and bustle of hospital life going on around them quieted for the time being. When he returned, he climbed over the rail, squeezing himself into the tiny space not occupied by tubes or Jinyoung himself. “You got here by worrying about the kids too much and not taking care of yourself.”

 

Despite the pain that accompanied it Jinyoung wasn’t about to let the issue go without a comeback, “That’s not true, if anything I’ve been worried about the wedding.”

 

Jinyoung had to bite his tongue not to blurt out they were out of a wedding planner. It just didn’t seem like the right time with Jaebum already so high strung.

 

“Oh so last night you didn’t stay up with Bambam?”

 

Jinyoung shook his head, “That’s different, he can’t control his anxiety like Mark can.”

 

Not to mention, Jinyoung himself was partially to blame for his son’s condition. If it hadn’t been for him who knew whether Bambam would be in a such position in the first place. It was a miracle Jackson was doing as well as he was, Jinyoung didn’t think he could live with himself if he’d ruined any chance of normalcy for both of them.

 

“Fine then what about waking up extra early every morning to make breakfast for everyone?”

 

“ _You_  do that, I just fail at it until you come to rescue me.”

 

“All those little talks you have with Youngjae?”

 

“What am I not supposed to try to be a good dad?”

 

“Okay, then when you picked Mark and Jackson up from school. You didn’t have to do that you know, the principal offered to put them in detention until I could pick them up.”

 

“I didn’t want you to yell at them. I thought if you had time to cool down first-“

 

“You’re literally proving my point right now.”

 

“Don’t interrupt me.” Jinyoung narrowed his eyes feigning anger.

 

Jaebum half nodded, half sighed. He really couldn’t win with this guy.

 

“Can you just let me be right for once?” he looked down at him with a little pout that Jinyoung leaned up to kiss away.

 

“Pouting is my thing remember?”

 

Jaebum gave him an annoyed glare.

 

It was always like that, Jinyoung forgetting to see the good in himself. Jaebum doing his best to remind him, no matter how exasperating the task.

 

“Fine _hyung_. You can be right…this once.” Jinyoung said with a grimace holding up a finger to emphasize his point.

 

“See now was it that hard?”

 

Jinyoung nodded quickly. “It was so painful on so many levels.”

 

If Jinyoung was being honest with himself, his throat felt like scalding hot knives were being poked through it, despite all the energy pulsing through him talking was still off the table for the time being. If giving Jaebum his way meant he’d get to stop talking for a while, he’d let him have it just this once.

 

“Well I know one way I can make it better,” Jaebum dipped in for a kiss to his lips, only without the nurse around things didn’t end when lips parted and tongues collided.

 

Jinyoung pulled away first his blush deepening, “We are in a hospital.” Jinyoung placed a hand against his chest to keep him from coming closer, there was only so much self control he could exercise with his defenses already so weakened.

 

“Still not the most public place we’ve-“

 

“ _J_ _aebum_.” 

 

“Alright, alright. I’m just saying there’s five kids waiting for us when we get home. This is probably the most time we’ll have to ourselves for who knows how long.”

 

Jinyoung rolled his eyes once again, he really hated it when Jaebum was right.

 

“The doctor will be back in thirty minutes.” He commented as if it were any defense.

 

Jaebum smiled down at him, “That’s all I need.”

  >>>

 

 

Yugyeom sat on the floor with a first aid kit between his legs peeling the paper off band aids and ripping apart cotton swabs, he had a nice pile growing beside him of plastic and fluff (mixed in with a few drops of peroxide before Mark made him put it back.) Half his arm was wrapped up in gauze that Youngjae had written on in the strange style he dubbed hang gool with one of the cool pens Jaebum kept in the coffee table drawer and the ice packs had been stomped to an untimely death beneath his feet.

 

“So loud.” Youngjae whined from the living room where he was surrounded by a spread of coloring books and the markers he wasn’t allowed to have.

 

“He’s dying Youngjae where’s your sympathy.” Jackson held a screaming Bambam in his lap while Mark dabbed at the cuts on his left hand with the cotton swabs Yugyeom had yet to destroy.

 

There were cereal bowls all over the table, milk still sitting out getting too warm and a half eaten apple that had rolled out of sight when Mark bought the first aid kit down and Yugyeom lost interest in it.

 

The first aid kit was usually up in the medicine cabinet with the cool red cross on the front and complicated words Yugyeom didn’t understand. It had always been too high up for Yugyeom to reach even when he stood on the sink and the second Mark turned his back to look after Bambam, Yugyeom claimed it as his victim.

 

“Die quieter.” Youngjae whispered, head cradled against his shoulder to block out some of the noise.

 

“I’m dying?” Bambam continued to scream.

 

Yugyeom screamed right along with him. He thought it was funny seeing who could scream loudest, even though Bambam hadn’t exactly agreed to play.

 

They were supposed to be playing video games until Jin came over but Yugyeom found the wound cleaning process far too intriguing to walk away from. Besides,

 

Mark wasn’t the boss of him.

 

“We’re almost done.” Jackson bounced Bambam in his lap doing his best to calm him down.

 

Mark grumbled when he spilled alcohol on his pants, “You’re supposed to keep him still.”

 

“That’s what I’m trying to do.”

 

“Do a better job then.”

 

Yugyeom looked between the two of them, at their squinted eyes and drawn down brows. “Are you mad at each other?”

 

“No.” they both said at the same time sharing a strange sort of eye contact.

 

Yugyeom looked to Youngjae.

 

“Sound mad.” Youngjae confirmed with a shrug.

 

“Well we’re not.” Jackson cut in.

 

Mark nodded, handling one of Bambam’s fingers a little more roughly than necessary causing the seven year old to let out another cry of pain.

 

Yugyeom let out his own shout.

 

Youngjae grumbled.

 

Yugyeom was trying not to worry about his parents in the hospital, occupying himself with whatever he could until they got back but looking at Bambam in so much pain over the tiny nicks in his skin made his mind wander.

 

Back to things Yugyeom couldn’t really remember clearly.

 

Things that made him want to cover his ears like Youngjae.

 

Made his hands shake and an indescribable feeling would settle over him.

 

Yugyeom shook his head so fast he laughed when a dizzy sensation momentarily settled over him, it was a trick Jaebum had taught him. It was supposed to make the bad thoughts tumble out his ears, and the weird feelings would be flicked off the ends of his hair, “When does Jin get here?”

 

“Twenty-six minutes.” Mark said quickly.

 

“When does dad come back.”

 

A frown flashed over his face, “…I don’t know.”

 

“I want dad come back…and Mr.Park.” Youngjae came over with a coloring book in one hand and a few markers in the other. He sat beside Yugyeom pushing the mess his brother had created out of the way so it scattered all over the kitchen floor.

 

“Me too.” Bambam said through tears.

 

Jackson looked like he was about to give Bambam another bounce but decided against it and gave his back a pat instead. He dropped his head onto Bambam’s shoulder, watching Mark apply the last of the band aids to the bottom of Bambam’s thumb, it was a little circular one with superhero’s on it, so cool Yugyeom wished he’d stuck his own hand down the garbage disposal.

 

Though Bambam only had his hand down the drain for a less a second Mark having yanked it out before any real damage could be done, Bambam hadn’t stop screaming since and Yugyeom thought there had to be easier ways to get cool band aids.

 

When Mark deemed Bambam healed and the fun part was over Yugyeom took to stacking the markers by their caps. He ended up with a line almost as tall as himself if it wasn’t for Youngjae needing the red one to color in a snake.

 

(“Snakes aren’t red.”)

 

(“But I like red.”)

 

“Look I made a sword.” He twirled a piece of Bambam’s hair around the end causing his frown to break for the smallest of seconds. “I am Marker Man.”

 

Mark reached out to snap off the top section, he let it roll around in his palm briefly before he held it out to Bambam, “It’s a light saber.”

 

“Like…like Dark Vader.” Bambam stuttered out, his tears had gone by then replaced by hiccups and sniffles.

 

Mark nodded, it almost looked like he was…smiling?

 

Yugyem jumped to his feet, “I want to be Luke.”

 

“That m-makes me your dad.” Bambam giggled, he dropped his voice as low it would go (which wasn’t that low considering he was seven) then said, “Luke I am your father.”

 

“No!” Yugyeom held his ‘light saber’ to his chest, utterly scandalized.

 

Bambam hopped out of Jackson’s lap brandishing his light saber, “Join the dark side.”

 

“No,” Yugyeom repeated before he ran off to the living room, “You’ll never take me alive.” He hid behind the couch so only his eyes peaked out over top.

 

“That leaves me no choice.” He swung the light saber in an ‘x’ pattern, “I’ll have to kill you.” Bambam charged in, screaming with what little voice he had left.

 

“Do your worst.”

 

>>> 

“I don’t appreciate being treated like a criminal.” Jackson said defiantly.

 

He, along with Mark, Youngjae, Bambam and Yugyeom were sat on the couch while Jin stood at the stove in the kitchen trying to remake the spaghetti Jinyoung had destroyed the night before with Jungkook at his side following his every step.

 

“You think this is criminal treatment wait until Jaebum gets to you.”

 

“At least he doesn’t make us watch reading rainbow.” Jackson mumbled looking over at the pieces of lamp swept up in the dust pan.

 

“Reading rainbow?” Jungkook cheered.

 

“That’s right Kookie, you want to watch reading rainbow with Gyeomie?”

 

“Please no.” Yugyeom said as he sank lower into the couch.

 

A collective chuckle came from the group, even Youngjae who thought Yugyeom was a little ridiculous in his blatant aversion to the kid.

 

“No.” Jungkook answered and Jackson could hear the little ‘thank you’ Yugyeom said before Jin gave him a sideways look and he pretended to be talking to Bambam about something he’d seen on tv.

 

Jackson thought the couch was already uncomfortable enough without Bambam’s bony butt digging into his lap, add Youngjae and his feet tunneling into his side and reading freaking rainbow Jackson had the perfect storm of the most uncomfortable day off imaginable.

 

Jackson guessed he finally understood why Hoseok was so studious, if it meant getting away from LeVar Burton, Jackson would do just about anything.

 

Looking over at Mark, he didn’t seem to be doing much better squirming to get comfortable underneath Yugyeom. When they caught each other’s eye instead of immediately looking away Jackson nodded towards the marker on the coffee table, just out of his reach.

 

Mark glared at him, picking up the utensil slowly as not to draw Jin’s attention. Once he had it safely at his side he looked to Jackson with a face that read, _What now?_  

 

Jackson wiggled his eyebrows.

 

Mark rolled his eyes.

 

If they were stuck on the couch until their parents came home they might as well have some fun.

 

Jackson took the marker from his hand checking to make sure Jin was still focused on the meatballs he was preparing, fresh ground beef and all before he aimed and-

 

“Put it down.” Jin said without looking up from the cutting board.

 

So plan A was a bust.

 

Bambam was usually less compliant himself but with a raw throat from screaming, a cut up hand and now a broken lamp under his belt Jackson was pretty much alone in his plight. Mark was a goody two shoes at heart after all, not to mention he still kinda hated Jackson’s guts for no reason at all.

 

So when Mark raised his eyebrows for plan b Jackson had to blink away the confusion before he nodded in understanding.

 

“Jinnie I have to go to the bathroom.” Jackson whined.

 

Jin sent him off with a wave off his hand, a gesture that Jungkook copied and Jin cooed.

 

Jackson held four fingers at his side that Mark acknowledged by shifting Yugyeom on his lap so he could peer out at the clock over his shoulder. He blinked twice.

 

Jackson sighed getting ready to argue but with Jin’s sixth sense for mischief he really didn’t have time to get into it.

 

“Alright I’m going to the bathroom.”

 

He took the stairs two at a time starting the count as soon as he entered Jinyoung’s room.

 

He had two minutes.

 

Jackson knew Mark kind of sucked at stalling but he thought two minutes was a little short, especially for what he was tasked with.

 

Though even if he didn’t find what he was looking for Jackson couldn’t help but feel a little better already, not only had Mark remembered their escape plans but he wasn’t _totally_ icing Jackson out anymore. Their argument earlier was a sign of just that, they were making progress.

 

Jinyoung had promised the day Jackson turned thirteen he’d get a real cellphone, since kids (which Jackson was eleven and everyone knows you stop being a kid at ten-no Jackson wasn’t arguing) had no use for phones other than to call home and call the police. He’d made the same promise to Mark when Jaebum started staying over more frequently and ever since he’d gotten a new phone (as a birthday present that Jackson may or may not have accidentally spilled the beans on) the old one had been hidden away in the bedroom.

 

Just like Jin had his sixth sense, Jinyoung had one too and practically every time he went out he’d hide the phone in a new place. Jackson thought it was stupid if he was being honest, it was Mark’s phone anyway in like three months.

 

“How long does it take to use the bathroom Jackson?” he heard Jin call up the stairs.

 

Jackson drummed his fingers against the dresser wondering how a full minute had gone by.

 

The last place Jinyoung had hidden it was underneath Jaebum’s side of the mattress and Jackson doubted it’d be underneath Jinyoung’s side since that was way too predictable. The only logical place he could think of was the closet in the pocket of one of his coats.

 

Jackson always hated the dresser, especially at night when the coats turned into monsters reaching out to get him.

 

He shivered at the thought.

 

Thirty seconds.

 

Jackson closed his eyes and plunged his hand into each pocket quickly, moving down the row at lightning speed. It was when he got to the one in the back that he felt the cool rectangular piece of plastic he’d been searching for.

 

He switched it into his own pocket then started down the steps with five seconds to spare.

 

“I had to wash my hands.” He said exasperatedly. “And dry them.” He added when Mark cleared his throat.

 

Jackson returned to his seat on the couch looking at Mark with a devious smile.

 

“You want to know something Jackson?” Jin walked in with Jungkook on his hip and spaghetti sauce on the apron Jinyoung bought and never used. “I didn’t hear a toilet flush.”

 

Almost.

 >>>

 

 Youngjae was almost asleep when he heard the door open late that night.

 

He had clean pajamas on and new set of sheets fresh out the dryer on his bed. Jin had offered to let Jungkook share the bed with him if Youngjae couldn’t fall asleep but Youngjae just shook his head, too shy to remind Jin he hadn’t checked for the monster under his bed.

 

He laid in underneath his blankets unblinking and looking to the ceiling, listening to Yugyeom and Bambam snore down the hall and Jin downstairs playing Mario Kart with Mark and Jackson.

 

It was too dark to get any toys out and if Youngjae was being honest he really wasn’t in the mood for them. He just wanted to know where his parents had gone and why they didn’t wake anyone to say goodbye. Mark mentioned they went to the hospital and Youngjae thought they would have to come back eventually, yet there it was bed time and he hadn’t seen a sign of them all night.

 

So when he heard Jaebum ask why Mark was still up, Youngjae hopped out of bed and immediately ran for the stairs taking them two at a time. Of course he tripped on the last step but that didn’t matter because,

 

“Daddy.” He ran over to Jaebum who scooped him up with a soft smile. Youngjae threw his arms around Jaebums neck, “I missed you.”

 

Jaebum rubbed a few circles into his lower back, placing a kiss at the base of his neck, “Missed you too Sunshine.”

 

“Where’s Mr.Park?”

 

“Sulking.” Jin said cut off by a cheer when once again he’d been beaten by Mark on rainbow road. “It’s just spaghetti Prince Jinyoung.”

 

“Some of us aren’t part time chefs Seokjin, now my kids have an unrealistic expectation for my cooking.”

 

“Any expectation is unrealistic for you.” Jackson mumbled when he disappeared into the basement, gone before Jinyoung could chastise him for being up so late.

 

Youngjae giggled.

 

Jaebum let Youngjae down to go off into the kitchen, he looked up at Jinyoung curiously.

 

He couldn’t tell what is was but something was off, maybe it was the awkward way Jinyoung held his stomach or the off color of his skin but Youngjae didn’t ask to be picked up just sat at the table while Jinyoung made coffee.

 

“Are you dying too?” he asked.

 

Jinyoung dumped out a small amount of grounds in the filter throwing a look over his shoulder, “No, who’s dying?”

 

“Bambam died a little bit. We were really scared.”

 

“What?” he turned fully though before Youngjae could continue Jaebum materialized with a tight lipped smile plastered on his face.

 

“Hey why don’t you just go rest for a bit? I can make my own coffee.” Jaebum didn’t leave much room for response just pushed Jinyoung toward the stairs. After he made sure Jinyoung was out of sight he returned to the kitchen. “Let’s not tell Mr.Park about Bambam just yet.”

 

“But…” Youngjae slumped in his seat, utterly confused.

 

Why did he have to keep secrets from Mr.Park?

 

Jaebum took a knee before him, “He’s really tired today so we have to be on our best behavior.”

 

“Bambam wasn’t on his best behavior,” Youngjae stumbled over the word so it ended up sounding more like ‘behave-or’.

 

“I know, we’ll deal with that tomorrow. Right now, you and you,” he said to Mark in the other room, “Need to be in bed.”

 

Jin set his controller down finally, picking up a sleeping Jungkook, “Sorry I kept him up. This one’s always a tough opponent.” He ruffled Mark’s hair with one hand.

 

Mark smiled under the praise.

 

“Until next time Baby Peach.” Jin held his hand out for a shake that Mark took gladly. He left with a wave and, “Tell the Prince to call me when he feels better.”

 

“I heard that.” Jinyoung called.

 

“You were meant to.”

 

Jaebum shook his head, “Hurry up and get home before Namjoon loses it, you know he can only handle Taehyung and Jimin for so long.”

 

“Oh trust me I know.”

 

When Jin was finally out the door Youngjae turned back to Jaebum, “I can’t sleep.”

 

“I noticed.” He picked the nine year old up once again, holding him close. Jaebum leaned down to give Mark a kiss on the forehead while he unhooked all the cords for the game then continued on upstairs.

 

“J-Jin didn’t…he didn’t,” Youngjae stuttered as Jaebum got him settled in bed.

 

Youngjae had never needed plushies or a nightlight like his brothers, never having been afraid of the things he saw on tv like ghosts and people that hid in corners. He was much more of afraid of real things like burglars and door to door salesmen.

 

“He forgot…” Youngjae continued to stammer.

 

Jaebum hummed to himself ducking underneath the bed, “Hm, looks like there’s no monsters under here.” He crawled even further under until all Youngjae could see where his legs peaking out.

 

He giggled, “My bed gonna eat you.”

 

“Eat me? Oh no, who’s gonna save me? Help, I’m being eaten alive!”

 

“I got you daddy.” Youngjae put all his strength into tugging on the back of the jacket Jaebum wore until slowly he began to reappear breathing heavily.

 

“Thank goodness you saved me Youngjae.”

 

“I won’t let bed eat you.” He said earnestly.

 

“And I won’t let the bed eat you either.” He pulled the blanket up so it was tucked underneath Yougjae’s chin.

 

Youngjae turned to lay on his side staring up at his dad with sleep clouded eyes, “Missed you,” he yawned, “…missed…missed my other dad.”

 

Jaebum smoothed his hair down, “You do have two dads huh?”

 

Now that Youngjae was sure he was monster free, the sleep he had been waiting for washed over him, “Mhm…daddy a-and…d…”

 

It was way past his bedtime.

 >>>

  

“Dad?” Bambam stood at the doorway for the second night in a row with Yugyeom at his side and a chapter book clutched to his chest.

 

It was late and most of the house was sleeping but once Bambam saw the light spilling into the hallway from his dad’s room he knew he wouldn’t be able to go back to sleep if he didn’t get a chance to see him, bringing along one of Yugyeom’s favorite bedtime books as cover.

 

Jaebum was on one side of the bed typing with something playing low on the tv,  Jinyoung on the other breathing in a strange way like his chest was filling up slowly then letting it all out far too fast. Bambam could even see the sweat on his forehead, though the fan was blowing and Jaebum was wearing one of those big sweaters that said, “G.O.T University” on the front.

 

“Sleeping, can I take a message?” he looked over at the two of them with a little smile.

 

Yugyeom stumbled over climbing blindly up on to the bed, all Jaebum had to do was put a pillow under his head and he was fast asleep.

 

“Is he okay?” Bambam went to Jinyoung’s side touching his forehead like he’d seen Jinyoung himself do countless times when Bambam claimed he was sick, “It’s hot.”

 

“He’s got a tummy ache.”

 

“Oh…” Bambam looked between Jaebum and Yugyeom, “Somebody has to kiss it better.”

 

Jaebum closed his laptop leaning over to place it on the bedside table, along with his glasses when he took them off. “Kiss it better huh?”

 

Bambam nodded.

 

Jaebum went over to take a knee beside him so they were almost eye level, Jaebum still had a few inches on him so Bambam had to tilt his head back to look him in the eye, Jaebum held his hand out, palm upward so Bambam could see the silver band on his ring finger. “Why don’t we do it together?”

 

Bambam nodded vigorously, two kisses was always better than one. He took Jaebum’s hand, Jaebum’s palm closed completely around his so only the very tips of his fingers were visible.

 

While Jaebum simply leaned over to press his lips into the fabric of Jinyoung’s night shirt, Bambam had to stand on his toes to reach the same spot. When he deemed his work thoroughly completed he turned a beaming smile on Jaebum.

 

“Now he’ll get better…” Bambam counted quickly in his head, “three times faster right?”

 

Jaebum nodded with a smile of his own, “He sure will kid.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wonder what Jaebum did with those thirty minutes? (Winks with both eyes)
> 
> And I don’t know about anyone else but I always confused Darth for Dark Vader when I was a kid.
> 
> This was supposed to Markson vs. the maknaes but I got a little off track and by a little I mean a lot. I’m trying to switch up my chapter formula so this one ended up being on the shorter side so the next one will most likely be about twice this size because I have so many things to add I can’t giving you guys bread crumbs. 
> 
> I also left a tiny nod to a 90’s boyband with this one because I was just in that sort of mood while writing this.
> 
> I’m really high on motivation these days and low on ideas. I have the scenes written and things that happen but no order or an exact outline. So it’s been really frustrating to write recently but I’ll do my best for you guys. Thank you for your well wishes and generally being awesome people.
> 
> Let me know what you think of this chapter, I’m very open to your opinions or things you guys want to see so don’t be afraid to tell me a certain section doesn’t make sense or details that I missed because I write this story all by myself and I get lost sometimes so I really do appreciate the help! 
> 
> P.s I also posted this on aff so that and ao3 should be the only places you see this story.


	7. Fall

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Seungcheol? Seongcheol? Sungcheol? I don't know at this point they're all the same person. Happy reading

“Go for it.” Jinyoung said with a sigh and Jackson didn’t need another word before he tore into his dinner.

Jinyoung sat with his chin in his palm watching his boys hungrily inhale bowls of macaroni and cheese with chicken and broccoli mixed in since Jin assured him it would get Yugyeom to eat his vegetables for once and by the way the six year old scooped up spoonful after spoonful, Jinyoung hated to admit he was right.

“Why daddy work late?” Youngjae asked, he was the only one taking his bites slowly though his spoon still wobbled and cheese dropped on to his pants.

“Because he hates me.” Jinyoung mumbled.

Bambam stopped chewing long enough to say, “I thought he _loved_  you.”

“Ew.” Yugyeom added.

They shared a look of scrunched up noses before Jinyoung gave them both a little ‘bop’ and they turned to scowls.

He sighed once again after they’d returned to drawing patterns in the cheese at the bottom of their bowls, stirring his own untouched portion. His appetite diminished with Jaebum’s text that he might be a little late (for the second night in a row) and thoroughly destroyed with the phone call that ‘a little’ might end up being a lot.

“Sabum Nim said I was improving. He told me to tell you, that you,” Jackson held up his fingers to mimic quotes, “Ought to be proud of my progress’ when you come in for the tournament.” Jackson swallowed a mouth full of pasta with a broad smile. “He still really wants to train Youngjae though, I don’t get it.”

“He said all he needed was seven months.” Mark muttered into his spoon.

“It took me seven months to learn my form, no way he could train Youngjae to tournament level in seven freaking months…no offense Youngjae.”

Youngjae looked to the ceiling holding up a finger as he said, “None…taken…?” The small inflection in his voice making it sound like a question.

Jackson reached over to give his hair a muss.

“I’ll always be proud of you. Only way I wouldn’t is if you didn’t take your elbows off the table,”

Jackson grumbled but dropped his elbows to his sides so only his forearms were pressed against the edge of the table.

“I’m looking forward to seeing you… _both_ of you.” Jinyoung said with a smile of his own though it was much smaller given his subdued state.

Mark whispered a thank you, quickly filling his mouth with enough chicken to make his cheeks puff out.

“You say that all the time but I want to be better.” Jackson huffed.

Jinyoung hid his chuckle behind his palm, Jackson was always in some competition with Mark whether he said it or not he’d been trying his best to keep up with the older. Mark had just gotten his first black belt and Jackson was doing everything in his power to prove he deserved a level up too.

“You are better, you’re both trying your best and you’re both improving. Don’t go thinking I’m not proud of either one of you just because you don’t get a new color.”

Mark bowed his head even lower.

Jackson crossed his arm over his chest, “That’s so sappy.”

“I don’t want you overworking yourself trying to do something you’re not ready for, you did that with fencing and look where it got you.”

Jackson dopped his gaze to the floor, “I could still fence if you weren’t so-“

Jinyoung pressed his lips together, quirking an eyebrow, “Finish that and I will send you to bed early.”

“You can’t send me to bed early, you promised we would watch the lion king today.”

Jinyoung thinking quick on his feet went to his next mode of punishment, knowing the one weakness of motormouth number one, “What about you Bam, did you want to watch the lion king with Jackson and I?” Was motor mouth number two.

Bambam looked between Jinyoung and Jackson pausing with his mouth full like he wasn’t sure who to trust. He swallowed thickly then shook his head. “Denimals (Decimals).” He said in defense.

Jackson sat back in his seat, satisfied.

Jinyoung threw his hands up letting the conversation continue without him. Absently, he kicked at the empty chair across from him, at the same time he half listened to Bambam recount all the gossip he’d picked up from yesterday’s party.

Months ago when they began wedding planning the first thing Jinyoung had done was take the whole week before they set the date, off. The last thing he wanted in his wedding pictures was wrinkles and stress lines.  Jaebum had done the exact opposite and upped his hours surprising all but no one.

Jaebum worked when he was stressed, he’d burrow himself in his office on his worst of days only coming out for rehearsals and the food Jinyoung force fed him. He wasn’t the least surprised when he woke up that morning to Jaebum fully dressed giving him a kiss and a whispered ‘see you later’ which left him exactly zero time to mention the news he’d been sitting on for nearly a week.

“That didn’t happen.” Mark said in response to something Bambam had bought up.

“I have proof. Taehyung said he saw Uncle Hakyeon with Mr. Lee.”

Mark shook his head, “It’s the wrong Mr.Lee then.”

“Taehyung isn’t a relieable source, I should have known.” Bambam grumbled scooping up the last of the broccoli he’d picked out.

Yugyeom paused mid-bite “So then Uncle doesn’t like Mr. Lee?”

“He has to, I heard from Uncle Jinnie who heard from the guy on dad’s play that Uncle Hakyeon liked Mr.Lee and Uncle Jinnie’s always right. But it’s not the Mr.Lee at the party, because Mark is a reliable source and Taehyung isn’t because he’s got like brain problems or something.”

Youngjae noticeably deflated in his seat.

Jinyoung gave his knee a squeeze under the table. He really needed to talk to Bambam about his sensitivity.

“Did he say anything about Uncle Joon?” Jackson asked, ears bright red at the tips.

Bambam tapped his spoon against his bowl, “He got a new client at work.”

Yugyeom drew them back to the previous issue, “Which Mr.Lee does Uncle like, we should set them up.”

“I don’t know they just said his name was Lee.”

“That’s a great idea Yugs! We could have a double date, Mr.Lee and Uncle then me and Joon.” Jackson smiled dreamily as he gazed off through the back window.

“You and who?” Mark coughed giving himself a few rough pats on the chest.

Youngjae chimed in saying, “Joon married Jinnie.”

“Yeah but he said I could marry him too when I’m older, we should start dating now so when we get married we’ll be comfortable burping infront of eachother.”

“Hm, I didn’t know Joon said you guys could get married.” Bambam said with a little frown.

“Does that make you Hobi’s dad?” Yugyeom asked next.

Jackson quieted a moment then nodded so quickly he looked more like a bobblehead than a person. “Yeah it does.”

“Cool.”

They shared a high five over the table, Mark looking between the two of them as if he was watching a horror movie, Bambam soaking up every word to add to the long list of gossip stored in his brain and Youngjae still trying to figure out how anything he was hearing made sense.

Jinyoung shook his head, he might have accidentally released a monster on poor Namjoon. He zoned out once again when they started talking about how they’d figure out which Mr.Lee, Hakyeon had a thing for.

Leave it to Bambam to pick up on the most trivial gossip.

Jinyoung considered himself lucky, if Bambam had clued in to what was said afterward he might have blurted out how Jin scolded Jinyoung for not telling Jaebum what he needed to, right after Hakyeon walked off to help Namjoon on the grill (a strange choice on Jin’s part but Jinyoung guessed Jin would rather have his husband lose the food he burnt than someone’s kid)

…and there Jinyoung was thinking about that again.

He stressfully took a sip of apple juice.

“That’s mine.” Youngjae whined taking his cup back.

Jinyoung hummed getting up to get a fresh cup off of the drying rack, he set it on the counter so he could get out the what he thought was more apple juice but as he was unscrewing the cap it turned out it was actually-

“How come Youngjae gets grape juice? That’s not fair.” Yugyeom said.

Jinyoung looked down and sure enough there was the jug of grape juice in his hand. “I see you haven’t finished your juice yet.”

Yugyeom narrowed his eyes chewing a cheesy stick of broccoli, “Dad would let me have grape juice.”

Mark gave him a tap on the wrist causing Yugyeom to groan and mumble out a quick apology that Jinyoung barely heard, too preoccupied with turning the stove he somehow left on, off.

Yesterday they’d gone to the graduation party Jin forced on Yoongi, coming home with more leftovers than they had hands to carry, reminding Jinyoung of the pound cake in his trunk that would definitely need to be thrown away now.

Jinyoung was still feeling a considerable amount less than one hundred percent but he couldn’t miss the look on Yoongi’s face when Jin bought out the custom made basketball he had hidden in his closet for the last few weeks. Yoongi had gone scarlet when Jin bought it out. It had his name written on it in Hangul and English, little kumamon bears printed all over doing various activities, one was playing piano while another was dressed in oversized clothing with a microphone in hand, Jin called later that night in tears when he said Yoongi hugged him for the first time in three years without any prodding.

Nope, Jinyoung wouldn’t have missed it for the world.

It reminded him of when Jackson graduated elementary school and he had to sit in the car for an hour while the ceremony went on inside as not to let his emotions get the best of him. He missed most of the formalities like when all the fifth graders marched out and took their seats or when the announcer gave out all the awards. Jaebum ended up being the one to video Jackson walking across the stage with a cap too big for his head held in place by hair pins curteosy of his sister, Sooyoung. He cracked a small smile at the memory, reminding him that in a matter of weeks sixth grade would be behind them as well and he was at a table full of people that used to be able to fit in the palm of his hand.

The only thing really weighing him down was that he knew something his fiance didn’t and at the rate things were going it looked like he wouldn’t be able to tell him until the day they were supposed to be standing at the altar. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to tell Jaebum, it just never seemed like the right time. How coud he bring it up without answering all the why’s that came along with it?

Nope, it was better he keep it to himself until hecould sort out a proper argument.

Jinyoung was disrupted from his thoughts by a wet kiss on his cheek, he sputtered looking to his left to see Youngjae gazing down at his cheese covered hands.

“Bambam say kisses make you better when you sick.” He twisted his fingers together, rocking back on his heels like he was nervous Jinyoung might snap at him.

“Are you still sick?” Yugyeom asked, suddenly imbued with energy (not that he needed it) .

“We’ll take really good care of you.” Bambam added.

Jackson was the first to hop up from his seat, “Come on dad, Jb said we have to make sure you get loads of rest.”

“When did he say that?”

“When you were sleeping, we all came to check up on you…even Mark.”

Jinyoung spared a glance out the corner of his eye at Mark who had suddenly gone a bright shade of red.

“Are you guys gonna help or what?” Jackson asked as he attempted to pull Jinyoung from the counter by his wrist.

Bambam, Yugyeom and Youngjae immediately ran over.

Bambam pushed while Yugyeom and Youngjae took up position on either side of Jackson and began pulling, Mark got busy clearing the table.

Jinyoung looked at the five of them surpressing the urge to gather them all up in his arms and hold on to them forever.

“Come on Bambam you’re not pushing hard enough.”

“I’m trying, I’m trying.” Though Jinyoung didn’t budge.

He had to be the luckiest man in the world.

 

>>> 

 

It was a day for the history books.

Youngjae Choi Im, shortest and clumsiest in the class was line leader.

Taehyung was right behind him, holding his arm when he looked ready to trip, their chaperone walking up ahead of them looking back every few seconds when Youngjae fell too far behind. It was only a class of six but Youngjae felt his chest swell with happiness that for the first time since kindergarden he was being entrusted with the safety of the class.

“Watch out for the lockers.” Taehyung whispered holding his hand millimeters away from Youngjae’s side just in case.

Youngjae nodded splitting his attention between the hallway infront of him and his feet in the light up shoes Jinyoung had gotten him, with how well the day was going he was beginning to think they were a good luck charm. Maybe it was the nerves from not wanting to mess up, the happiness that his teacher was at long last putting a little faith in him or Taehyung’s expert guidance but Youngjae was walking like a semi-normal person and boy was he happy about it.

There were small misteps when his body didn’t do what he told it to but that was to be expected, it wasn’t the type of thing to change just because he wanted it to and for the most part he was doing well.

The group made their way to the cafeteria (just a tad slower than usual so there were a few more people in the lunch line than they were used to) once they were all through the line, Taehyung running up ahead with the rest of the class. Youngjae did his best to keep up with them which he’d like to count as another win for the day when he only tripped once. (thanks to the shoelaces he couldn’t tie properly)

They returned to their table marked with a laminated sheet of red paper, their chaperone was off to the teachers lounge telling them to be good until she got back. Youngjae noticed Hana giving him looks the whole time but he chose to ignore it in favor of Taehyung beside him telling him how great he did as line leader.

“I can’t wait until I get a turn, I promised Ms.Fisher I’d be good tomorrow.”

Youngjae shook his head, “I not good, Sehun was bad reading time.” While the rest of the class remained relatively quiet, absorbed in their own books Sehun couldn’t seem to stop running around the classroom being sent to the thinking corner so many times at one point Ms.Fisher stopped having to tell him and he’d get the message with one look.

“Ms.Fisher does pick him a lot.” Taehyung conceded.

Sehun looked up from where he was sticking a piece of gum to the table, he shrugged not appearing at all offended.

“I bet I’ll be next, Mr. Lee likes me best and he’s choosing next time.” Dahyun said, it was usually between the two of them, every teacher had a soft spoft for one or the other for some reason no one could ever quite figure out.

Not long after, Bambam came running over when a teacher had their back turned long enough while his class got ready to head over to the gym. He sat next to Youngjae trying to catch his breath while his eyes roamed over the chicken nuggets Youngjae hadn’t planned on eating, “Is Yugyeom coming?”

“Don’t know.” Youngjae shrugged handing him the little spork that came with his straw he poked into a milk box.

“He bought the hot wheels. I got tech decks,” Bambam dug round in his pocket producing two of the little skateboards.

“Mr.Park hide them?”

Bambam tilted his head, “You really do talk funny,” he mumbled something else Youngjae couldn’t hear before going on, ”but anyway Jackson told me where, I just have to not tell dad he has candy under his bed.”

Youngjae took a long sip from his milk trying to think of the right things to say. Bambam had always been curious and Youngjae for the most part accepted that he would just have to deal with it, no matter how hard it was.  

“Finally someone else says it. Does he talk like that at home?” Hana leaned around Dahyun planting her elbows firmly on the table.

“Yeah I guess.” Bambam said nibbling on a chicken nugget.

“Wow so even your brother thinks you’re stupid.”

Youngjae could feel his hands balling in to fists, he was having a good day.

Hana was not going to ruin that.

He turned to face Bambam fully doing his best to block her out from his peripheral too with his hair, “I be red, you green.” He took the colored skateboard in his hand, unlike a real skateboard Youngjae could actually get a grip on it, a fact that made his lips curve upward just a bit.

Bambam tried to return his smile, “Race to the end of the table?”

Youngjae nodded.

They cleared the lunch trays out of the way, cracking their knuckles in preparation-

“Don’t ignore me,” Hana reached out to yank on a piece of Youngjae’s hair causing him to let out a yelp.

“That’s enough Hana leave him alone.” Dahyun said, she pulled Hana back down on to the bench beside her.

Taehyung moved so he could sit on the other side of Youngjae creating even more of a barrier and fixing Hana with a glare.

Youngjae rubbed the spot on the back of his head, he could feel a few strands missing but it wasn’t anything he hadn’t dealt with before. In fact it was relatively tame to the other time she’d done exactly that. He kept his eyes trained on the toy infornt of him.

“Are you gonna do something?” Bambam asked.

“I am. We race.”

“Not the toys, that girl.”

“I can’t be mean.” Was all Youngjae offered not fully understanding the point he was trying to get across.

Bambam looked about ready to question further but shook his head. “I’ll count down, 3…2…”

Youngjae wasn’t strong like everyone else. He wasn’t the smartest in his class or good at making friends. He didn’t know how to take care of people or make jokes but he was a big brother and no matter how much he wanted to hide in the bathroom until lunch was over or the janitor found him and walked him back to class, he had a job to do.

“Go!”

They both pulled back and released the boards so they flew down the table in a blur of color. It was even for most of the race but Bambam’s car was caught in the lose thread from someone’s backpack while Youngjae’s sailed to the end of the table, stopped just before the edge by Sehun’s forearm.

“Best two out of three.” Bambam immediately countered snatching the boards back up, “I’m still counting.”

“He probably infected you with his retard disease.”

Bambam looked to Youngjae but the older just kept his smile up waiting for him to say go.

“Watch out Sehun, Youngjae’s brother has the retard touch.”

And that did it.

Sure Hana could get away with messing up Youngjae’s good day but no matter how quickly Bambam tried to hide it, Youngjae caught the flash of hurt on his face. The pull of his lips downward and the droop of his eyes. She could hurt Youngjae but there was no way he would sit back and let her do the same to Bambam.

So, Youngjae got up from his seat, walking around Dahyun and Taehyung both of which looking at him like he’d grown two heads then without thinking about the lunch attendant suddenly interested in the scene playing out at their table,

He punched Hana in the face.

 >>>

 

 

Jackson thought there must be no better thing in the world than fudge covered, vanilla custard from Rita’s.

Add sprinkles and a maraschino cherry (for the look of course) he had the recipe for the best day money could buy all in the palm of his hand.

He smiled holding Youngjae’s sticky hand in his as they made their way to the playground. For most people school had yet to let out so the usually occupied swings were left rocking in the summer breeze and the jungle gym was empty save for what Jackson assumed was a mom holding up her daughter to reach the monkey bars, their laughter infectious causing Jackson’s already face spilliting smile to widen.

It really was a great day.

Looking down however Jackson thought he might be the only one that felt that way.

Most of Youngjae’s Italian ice had melted in the short walk from Rita’s to the playground and was nothing but a neon green soup with a long white spoon sticking out. The typically mirthfull expression he wore was replaced by one of dejection, like he just wasn’t in the mood for much of anything.

When Jackson got back from school, Youngjae was sat on the couch ‘watching’ cartoons. He heard Jinyoung upstairs vacuuming, Mark going straight to the kitchen to throw pizza rolls in the microwave before getting out his homework and spreading it across the table with surgeon like prescion.

Jackson took up residence next to Youngjae, tossing his feet over Youngjae’s lap and getting comfortable among the couch cushions, “What’s got you home so early?”

Youngjae shook his head.

“Is it a secret? You know you can tell me anything, mums the word.” He pantomimed locking his lips and throwing away the key causing Youngjae to crack a smile.

“Can’t tell.”

“Is it because you got in trouble?”

He nodded.

“Ooooh.” Jackson said lowly.

He got up once he heard Mark pronounce the pizza rolls cool enough to eat, taking one off the tray for quality assurance before he returned to his position. He listened to Power Rangers, humming along as they got suited up to face the bad guy of the week. Some two headed samurai with bad make up.

Jinyoung came down then, dressed in his usual attire of stripped shirt and plain (boring) black pants. He sat on the other end of the couch and Jackson felt Youngjae stiffen beneath his feet.

“I thought I told you two no pizza rolls unless you ask.”

“Mark made them.” Jackson defended.

“Traitor.” Mark said just loud enough to be heard.

Jinyoung shook his head at the same time he looped one of his arms around Youngjae’s shoulders bringing him closer, “Are you ready to talk now?”

Youngjae buried his face in Jinyoung’s side causing his hair to be mussed against his shirt.

“I’m not mad at you Youngjae, I just want to understand why you did what you did.”

Youngjae rubbed the back of his head, his fingers toying with the edges of his shorts like he was about ready to say something but squeaked out a no at the last second clinging to Jinyoung like he was afraid he’d disappear if he let go.

Jackson watched the whole exchange, fighting the part of him that wanted to know everything and the part of him that knew it was probably better if he didn’t.

Instead he came up with a fool proof cheer up method, “I could take him to the park.”

Jackson sensed the mood the moment he walked him, thinking Youngjae just tired from something or another but he could tell by the redness around his eyes that Youngjae needed something fun…and fast.

“Do you think going outside would help?” Jinyoung asked.

Youngjae shrugged.

Jinyoung and Jackson shared a look over his head, Jackson’s one of confusion, Jinyoung’s one of empathy. “Did you want to go with them Mark? You guys could run around a little bit before dinner, maybe get some ice cream-maybe,” he clarified when Jackson got a little bit too excited.

“Can we get Rita’s instead? They’re way closer…for Youngjae.”

“Do you have Rita’s money?”

“It was just a question.” Jackson said under his breath.

“I can pay for it.” Mark said drawing everyone’s attention, he shrunk under their eyes, “I’ve been saving my money from shoveling Mr. Cho’s driveway.”

“You don’t have to do that, I was just teasing.” Jinyoung dug into his pocket producing a few bills, “Thank you for offering, that was very nice of you.”

Mark nodded taking the money from Jinyoung’s outstretched hand and immediately shoving it in his pocket. “Th-thank you…Mr.Park.”

Jackson didn’t know why hearing his dad referred to by such a distant name made him feel strange. He’d heard him being called just that more times than he cared to count but for some reason the name had been feeling more and more…wrong? Especially coming from Mark.

He got to his feet, pulling Youngjae up with him.

“Mark’s in charge, keep an eye on eachother.” Jinyoung cautioned when the three of them got to the door, he gave them each kisses on top of their heads, even Mark watching them all from the door until they were out of his line of sight.

Thinking about it, Jackson all of a sudden felt selfish. How could he be having such a good day when Youngjae was having such an awful one?

Mark waved them over to the pavilion so they could sit, Youngjae took the spot beside his brother and Jackson winced wondering how he forgot Youngjae would always be Mark’s little brother first.

Youngjae held his cup out to Mark, “Try some?”

Mark took the spoon slurping up just enough to turn his lips a light shade of green, “It’s good, you try it.”

“I don’t want it.”

“Want some of mine?” Yeah it was vanilla custard with fudge (and sprinkles) but Jackson would sacrifice it any day if only to see Youngjae smile. He held out a spoon with a little bit of everything on it.

Youngjae held it in his hand like he was unsure what to do with it. It took some coercing on Mark’s part but the spoon eventually found it’s way into his mouth, “Yummy.” he said with a lift in his voice before returning the utensil to Jackson.

“Then we trade.” He passed over his vanilla custard with fudge (and sprinkles) taking Youngjae’s cup of slush.

Youngjae set the cup between himself and Mark, “Really yummy…share?”

Mark nodded taking a fresh spoon from the little packet Jackson had grabbed on his way out of the store, “Let’s play Rockband when we go home, you can be lead singer.”

Youngjae bounced in his seat, “And you be guitar and Gyeomie be drummer.”

Mark smiled, “Just like we do at our house.”

Jackson tried not to let it bother him. He and Bambam had their own ways of cheering each other up. Like going to the dojang to fool around until Sabum-nim kicked them out or worked up enough of an appetite for Jinyoung to get them popsicles in the summer or hot chocolate in the winter. In Bambam’s case if it wasn’t shopping it was watching Black Panther…again, now with the addition of a panther mask he would use to hide behind whenever he didn’t want anyone to see him cry.

That didn’t stop the off feeling from settling over him again when he thought about how none of those things included Yugyeom, Mark or Youngjae in his mind’s recreation. It would have to be something Jackson would deal with for the day.

“Mr.Park and Dad sing too? And Bambam play the piano and Jackson play guitar with you.” His voice gradually increased in volume and his face lit up once again.

If the woman from before had an infectious smile, Youngjae’s was like a shot of pure adrenaline and Jackson found that he couldn’t help but beam right along with him. “I humbly accept your request to annihilate Mark Tuan Im as lead guitarist.”

“Yeah right.” Mark scoffed.

Jackson held out his hand, “Wanna bet? Best two out of three and we’ve got ourselves a deal Im.”

Mark looked down to Youngjae happily eating away at his vanilla custard with fudge (and sprinkles) nodding to himself then connected his hand with Jackson’s giving it a firm shake, “You’re on Park.”

 >>>

 

Jaebum cleared his throat attempting for maybe the gazillionth (which is definitely a real number if you asked him) time to read the words he’d been carefully typing up on his computer. He swallowed around the lump that had formed in his throat then began reciting the first line,

“Park Jinyoung you are…my first love and in some ways my only love.” He breathed in, holding it for a moment too long to be natural then let it out. “Everyday I’m with you I think I understand a little bit more what love really means,”

“For me it means having someone that still wants to kiss you when you have morning breath and slobber on your cheeks, someone that pretends to put on your shirts by accident to be closer when you’re far away-okay I’m sorry I can’t.”

“At least you got to through a whole sentence this time,” Seungcheol said. He’d been quietly nodding along from the otherside of the desk, with his chin in his palm and a lovesick expression that made Jaebum want to delete the file on his computer and toss the whole contraption in the garbage for good measure.

Jaebum dropped his head on the keyboard causing a few paragraphs of g’s to decorate the screen before a dialogue box popped up asking if he wanted to activate sticky keys, “I’m hopeless.”

“You’re not hopeless. At this rate you might be able to say a whole paragraph come your wedding day.”

Jaebum peaked out from underneath his forearm, “Is that supposed to be funny?”

Seungcheol mumbled something that sounded like a ‘no’ before dragging his chair around the desk. He elbowed Jaebum out the way so he could delete the frustration paragraphs then spell checked the most recent additions.

“The hard part doesn’t seem to be writing the vows, just reading them is what’s causing the cringe attacks.”

“Cringe attacks? Times like this I remember you’re younger than me.”

“Look, the more you practice the easier it’ll get. I know it feels weird talking about all this personal stuff in front of like everyone you know but…you proposed that’s kinda the same thing isn’t it?”

“Not by a long shot.”

Jaebum remebered being so nervous he forgot to breathe and ended up passing out before Jinyoung answered, waking up he didn’t even know Jinyoung had said yes until he was helping him into bed and Jaebum saw the ring on his finger.

Of course the logical part of his brain was telling him even if he wrote something cliché the worst he’d get is teased afterward but it felt so awkward trying to explain to Jinyoung and an audience of almost one hundred fifty people why they should be getting married especially when Jaebum was reminded of the fact that a small percentage of that audience would rather Jinyoung marry a random person off the street than Jaebum.

He had no problem dialing up the sap when he was suddenly struck by the fact that he was probably the luckiest man on earth or if it wanted to see how many shades of pink he could cause Jinyoung’s cheeks to turn. But sitting there ironing out every detail of what to say and how to say it, what was just enough or what was too much made his insides twist in an uncomfortable way. Like the wrong pause would have half the audience storming the stage.

Jaebum had no idea when he’d started caring so much what other people thought.

“If it means anything I think what you wrote is amazing.” Seungcheol offered.

“I’m a writer for a living if it wasn’t I’d be offended.” Jaebum said with a shrug, he tapped a few keys to save the file then switched over to what they had written for Seungcheol. “Your turn.”

Proposals and wedding vows were two completely different books in Jaebum’s opinion but at their core they were both proffessions of love. Jaebum couldn’t say his vows without wanting to dunk his head in the nearest toilet, Seungcheol couldn’t write a proposal that would make sense to a toddler let a lone his boyfriend of five years.

They thought if they worked together their respective soon-to-be spouses would have something decent to remember.

“I still think you don’t say I love you enough,” Jaebum commented reading over the few sentences Seungcheol had managed to string together.

“If you had it your way it’d be three words long.”

“Well yeah, short and to the point. I love you, let’s get married, the end.”

“Jeonghan isn’t like that,” Seungcheol sighed, “He wants the grand gestures and over dramatic proclamations of love. He’s a diva like that you know.”

Jaebum smiled sadly, suddenly being reminded of the seven year old diva that gave him kisses on the cheek in the morning if he asking nice enough. Bambam, along with Yugyeom and Youngjae had probably just gotten out of school. Jinyoung would let them work up an apettite in the backyard then come in for dinner. If Jaebum finished with the new set of scripts he’d been tasked with editing in time, he might just be able to catch them before they all had their baths.

“Is it really that big of a deal to him? Shouldn’t he just be happy you guys are finally making some progress in your relationship other than popping out a new kid every week.”

“First of all, I resent that and second I want to give him a proposal he can tell his parents without being embarrassed. He still tells his mother I asked him out in front of magic kingdom when really I got dared to do it and he somehow said yes.”

“That’s better than mine, Jinyoung asked me out for the first time after he burned my hand with a flat iron and I cried.”

“I thought _you_ asked him out when you were drunk and you had to find a way to make up for puking on his shoes.”

Jaebum felt his neck heat up in embarrassment, college was a blur of diapers and textbooks but that was one memory he wished would fade into the chunk of time between Youngjae and Yugyeom’s birthdays where he forgot just about everything.

“It’s complicated,” was all he said before the door swung open and Jin walked in.

“What’s complicated?” he took a seat on Jaebum’s desk, claiming the snow globe Mark had made years ago.

“Relationships. May I ask why you have disturbed my desk with your ass?”

“I was looking for Choi. Found him.” Jin set the globe back down narrowing his eyes, “Am I interrupting something?” he took in the position of Jaebum leaning over Seuncheol to see the computer screen and Seungcheol not looking at all uncomfortable with how their bare arms touched.

Jaebum straightened, rolling his eyes in the process, “You know you’re not.”

“I was just asking. Production wants us to do a quick dress rehearsal before the big boss comes in, you’re off the hook though director. Unless you want to do Sungjae’s part today.”

“I think I have enough work cut out for me.” He tapped the unopened folder of scripts Jin had narrowly avoided sitting on. “Have fun though.”

“Guess we’ll have to finish up tomorrow. See you then director,” Seungcheol gave a nod in Jaebum’s direction then headed out the door.

Jin waited a moment for his footsteps to fade before waving Jaebum closer, “If I find out something is going on between you two, I will cut off your penis, put it in a blender and feed it to you.” He whispered. “Is that clear?”

Jaebum nodded, swallowing thickly. If the scar on his shoulder was anything to go by, that wasn’t a threat as much as it was a promise.

Jin clapped once getting to his feet, “Don’t stay too late, I don’t need your fiance sending me a hundred messages asking if you’ve worked yourself to death.” He smiled once again then was gone.

Jaebum had to pinch his cheek to remind himself to breathe.

He settled back in to his work getting no more than a page in before the phone rang. Jaebum groaned, reaching out for the handset without taking his eyes off the paper infront of him, he cradled the phone between his shoulder and ear saying, “JYP Theatre this is Jaebum.”

It was looking more and more like he’d be giving sleeping kids kisses on the forehead as a goodnight.

“That’s no way to talk to your mother-in-law.” The voice on the other end scolded.

“Jangmonim? Sorry it’s been a little busy today. Why are you calling my office phone?” Jaebum asked, giving up on doing anything productive for the time being. If Mrs.Park was calling him that only meant trouble.

“Because you didn’t answer your cellphone, I’d be offended but I know you’re a busy man having my son up all hours of the night in worries.” She made it seem offhand but Jaebum could practically feel the accusation in her tone, “I wanted to tell you the florist you picked out can’t deliver for new date. Which means you get a new florist or…you get a new florist I don’t see a way around it.”

Jaebum paused wondering if he’d heard correctly, “New date?”

“I don’t believe I stuttered.”

“What are you talking about a new date, it’s next Friday.”

“I think you mean next month, how do you not remember when your own wedding is being held? Anway the point is you need to change florists as soon as you can unless you can figure out how to keep thirty table arrangements and a centerpiece fresh for a few extra weeks…”

She kept talking but Jaebum had long since stopped listening. They had picked the second Friday that month, almost a year ago. He distinctly remembered sitting at a table for an hour with Jinyoung, considering everyone’s schedules, when the kids would have enough days off school, coming up with what they had thought was the perfect day after looking at where all their cards fell. He had it plastered all over just about everything, every calendar he owned, in the front of every notebook, on a sticky note hanging from his computer.

He was getting married on the second Friday that month.

“Hello? First you don’t answer my calls, then you ask me redundant questions, now you won’t answer me when I speak to you, is there something going on I should know about?”

“No,” Jaebum said quickly, shaking his head as if she could see him, “I’m just confused.”

“Honey I know you’re busy these days but you’ve got to find a better way to keep it together. I have a few people in mind if you need help but the final decision is up to you.”

“For a new florist?”

“That’s right.”

“Because they can’t deliver on our wedding day…which is next month?”

“Have you been working yourself too hard? It sounds to me like you might need some rest if you’re forgetting such important things.”

Jaebum clicked through his email to the reminder he’d set. It had big orange text that said, ‘Wedding Day’ with little smilies surrounding it courtesy of Youngjae. “Did Jinyoung tell you someone changed the date?”

“Yes he did.” She said slowly, ”He’s the one that changed it, are you sure you’re alright Jaebum-ah?”

“I’m fine. I just…I just didn’t know he changed it is all.”

The line was quiet for a beat before she responded, “He said you’d both agreed it was too soon-“

“Too soon?”

“You know what, you must be tired. He told me you two had talked about this already, I’ll pick the florist don’t worry about that much. Just make sure you don’t forget your family in all that work you’re doing and get some rest Jaebum-ah.” She ended the call before Jaebum had a chance to respond.

He gazed at the animated confetti exploding out of the message, “Too soon...”

 >>>

 

 

In one of Bambam’s earliest memories he was shopping.

Jinyoung looked big enough to move a mountain from where Bambam was sat on his hip as they made their way around the music store. Bambam could never remember what they were there for, but one thing he was absolutely certain of was the piano sat in the corner. Bambam whined to be put down then ran over, he tapped his fingers gently against the keys marveling at the instrument sat before him.

When Jinyoung came over he sat him between his legs on the little bench stationed behind it taking Bambam’s hands in his own as he played ‘River Flows in You’. Jinyoung was an expert on the piano, his fingers hoping from key to key as if the entire keyboard was burned into his brain.

Bambam remembered loving every second of it.

Yet, looking over at Yugyeom beating the drums with reckless abandon, his keyboard was starting to look more than a little dull.

“…take…old record off…shelf.” Youngjae sang ignoring the mess of instruments behind him. He looked up to Jinyoung smiling along.

“I’ll sit and listen to them by myself,” Jinyoung sang for him, “Come on, Jb said you do this part the best. Today’s music ain’t,”

“Got same soul.” Youngjae bumped into his side trying to follow the rhythm with his hand against his pocket.

“I like that old time rock n’ roll.” Yugyeom finished, pounding away at his drums. His rhythm had long gone but he looked so happy to just beat away at the little set Bambam had to admit,

He was starting to get jealous.

His keyboard didn’t light up anymore and it didn’t have the same amount of keys as his piano a million miles away over his grandmother’s house. It made his fingers search out keys that weren’t there not to mention after the first few lines, Bambam was relegated to back up while Yugyeom just kept going unbothered by his god awful score.

“That kinda music just soothes the soul,” Jackson said though his voice didn’t really fit the song, well…none of theirs did if Bambam was really thinking about it.

He shrugged and yelled out the next line, “With that old time rock n’ roll.” Sure it was wrong but…why should he care?

Even Mark started singing along when they got towards the end of the song, the group too infectious for him to stay silent. They ended with a personal solo from everyone, Youngjae dragged out the ‘o’ in ‘rock n’ roll’, Yugyeom pat his drums frantically, Bambam started slamming down nonsense keys, Mark and Jackson were the only ones still attempting to follow along with the chords on screen.

Before the last note played Bambam was out of his seat claiming the drums Yugyeom surprisingly gave up without a fight.

“Uptown Funk, Uptown Funk!” Youngjae cheered clutching onto Jinyoung’s forearm as he practically vibrated with how fast he was jumping.

Jinyoung nodded with a smile, “The man of the hour requests uptown funk.” He clicked around the screen until the song appeared, tapping a few more buttons so they could start.

Bambam bounced in his seat, knowing the song featured a heavy drum section he could go wild on, if they had trumpets that would really be something but he’d have to settle for the few seconds he got in the beginning of the piece.

Instead of singing Youngjae grabbed on to Jinyoung’s hands swaying back and forth, content to do just that for the duration of the song while the words ran across the screen.

Bambam guessed he had no choice but to take their jobs as well, “Don’t believe me just watch.” He hit the drums at an off beat, but not really caring because no matter how loud he got Jinyoung seemed too preoccupied dancing with Youngjae to care.

Eventually Yugyeom joined in as well with the next chorus singing a few words here or there when he could remember them, and the song went much like the one before with everyone playing their own rhythms creating some Frankenstein version that Bambam was absolutely in love with (and not just because his drums were more than half of it)

When the last song ended Yugyeom was about ready to queue up another but Jinyoung stopped him in his tracks, “Hold on there, it’s almost dinner time and I don’t think anyone showed me their homework today did they?” he looked around not expecting much of answer.

“Finally, I’m starving.” Jackson unlooped the strap of the guitar from around his neck running straight for the kitchen. He immediately started pulling out Tupperware containers of leftovers, setting them all out on the table.

“Didn’t you just have ice cream, you kids act like I don’t feed you.”

“I’m a growing boy, dad.” Jackson proclaimed as he dodged a pinch to the cheek.

Bambam gave each of the drums one last pat before he hopped up to help Yugyeom with the plates before they tumbled out of the cabinet.

Once he had them set out over the table Bambam couldn’t help but catch Youngjae’s eye when they ended up next to each other. Youngjae gave him a little smile then continued setting plates in their respective spots.

In the chaos that ensued Youngjae’s punch Bambam managed to escape to the gym where he should’ve been all along. He thought the moment he got home from school he’d be questioned about what went on but Jinyoung hadn’t mentioned a word about it. If Bambam hadn’t been there to see it all himself he would’ve thought everything was fine just like Yugyeom, happily tugging on Mark’s arm for a pineapple chunk from the fruit salad defrosting on the counter.

He wouldn’t have paid any attention to the little scabs on Youngjae’s hands, the red spots on his knees or the way Youngjae scratched at the back of his head. If Hana felt so comfortable pulling his hair in front of everyone Bambam began to wonder what else she might have done. What other little nick in Youngjae’s skin was thanks to her?

Bambam finally had one secret he wished he didn’t know.

He was in the middle of getting cups out the cabinet when he heard the front door click shut, “Hi Jb.” He said as Youngjae and Yugyeom rushed past to attach themselves to his waist.

“Hey there Bam.” Jaebum acknowledged him with a pat on the back, “You mind taking the kids over to playground Mark?” he asked.

Bambam looked up to see his eyes trained on Jinyoung, jaw wound tight.

“But already went playground,” Youngjae commented.

Mark just nodded taking his brothers by the hand, Jackson shrugged and followed along behind them.

“I don’t want go. Stay with daddy.” Youngjae pouted while Mark got him into a jacket.

Mark whispered a chorus of “I know’s” at the same time Youngjae had just about worked himself up to tears. Jaebum didn’t seem to mind though, his eyes never left Jinyoung pinned to the counter with the gaze.

Bambam remained frozen, wondering how everyone else seemed to pick up on whatever was happening around him, “I thought it was dinner time?”

Jinyoung spoke up meeting Bambam’s eyes with a soft expression, “We can eat when you guys get back, it won’t be too long, just be good for Mark.”

“Okay…” Bambam climbed down off the step stool, joining everyone by the door.

The bug in the back of his mind told him to ask what was going on, to stomp and cry until he got what he wanted. Only, Bambam was beginning to learn, sometimes not knowing was the best policy.

So, he slipped back into his shoes and the sweater Mark held out to him then, when everyone was deemed appropriately dressed he followed them out the door, giving one last look into the kitchen before he was out in the late afternoon air.

 >>>

 

 

“Why didn’t you tell me,” Jaebum began, Jinyoung could tell it was more of an accusation than a question, leaving him feeling like a kid getting told off by their parent.

He took a seat at the table hoping it would give him a chance to think of a proper response even though he was certain the moment he saw Jaebum walk in the room with that look, his brain had essentially taken a vacation.

“One of the most important days in this whole relationship and you decide to not even tell me that you changed it.”

“It never felt like the right time.” Jinyoung whispered into his hands.

“The right time? Are you seriously trying that excuse with me.”

“I didn’t want to worry you, first it was me being sick then you had-“

“I don’t want to hear the bull crap Jinyoung, there’s never a right time to tell someone you just changed their wedding date without asking.”

“They’re not excuses. You wanted to know why, I’m trying to tell you why.” Jinyoung dared look up for the first time seeing the pure exasperation in Jaebum’s eyes, there was nothing he could say to make it right. Only shut up and let Jaebum vent.

“You could have told me the day it happened, before you changed the date, why do I feel like I’m the last to find out about this?”

Jinyoung remained silent, knowing any and all answers were the wrong ones.

“Does anyone else know?”

“I sent it out in another invitation.”

Jaebum ran his hands through his hair causing a few strands to tumble into his eyes when it fell, Jinyoung wanted more than anything to flick them away, “So I was the only one that didn’t know. I had to find out from your mother for christ’s sake, does that make any sense to you?”

“I didn’t want you to get angry.” He offered knowing it wouldn’t do much good.

“Good job with that.”

Jinyoung resisted the urge to mumble ‘thanks’

“I just can’t figure out why, in what world it would make any sense for you not to tell me.”

“Because…” he covered his face with his hands once again as if it would do anything, his thoughts were still a mess of all the scenarios he had in his head for how the conversation would go, still fighting with each other for which words he should say.

“Because what?”

“Because of this!” Jinyoung finally spat, causing Jaebum to take a step backward, “Because every time we argue you don’t listen to me. You don’t want to hear anything I have to say, you just want to talk at me and that’s not how conversations go.”

“We’re two of a kind you know that, don’t forget you collapsed in the bathroom not even two days ago. I try to tell you to slow down and all you can think about is what you can say so I don’t get mad.”

Jinyoung met his eyes then, he really hadn’t given much thought to that conversation. Yeah he over worked himself but he was outnumbered five to one with kids nowadays it’d be a miracle if he didn’t have bad days.

“I didn’t know you were so worried about that.” He said though it came out as more of a whisper.

“Of course I was worried about it. You didn’t see what I saw.” He took a deep breath trying to collect himself before he continued, Jinyoung guessed he had to count himself lucky, the old Jaebum would have kept yelling until his throat was sore.

“I’m trying to listen to you, I am. But none of this makes sense. You don’t want me to be mad you changed the date so you just don’t tell me at all? You say there was no good time but I doubt you were gonna tell me today, I honestly don’t understand any of the logic you’re trying to explain to me.”

“I know things haven’t been going as well as we want them to but now you decide you want things to change so close to when we’re supposed to be doing this and your mother tells me you said it was ‘too soon’ what am I supposed to think?”

“What…?” Jinyoung sputtered.

The fire in his words died down to nothing, everything coming out as whisps of air, if Jinyoung’s whole body wasn’t already on edge he was pretty sure he wouldn’t have heard any of it, “I know you’re stressing out about what’s going wrong, I know I haven’t been trying hard enough to fix it all and I know I’m not the best at any of this fiance stuff but I just don’t understand why you…why you don’t want to do this all of a sudden.” He looked up then, blinking rapidly with glassy eyes.

“No that’s not,” Jinyoung tried to reach out and touch him but Jaebum was quicker moving far out of his reach, “That’s not it, I swear.”

He didn’t know how to convey that emotion, how to show him how much he really wanted this. Jaebum walking in after work and all the kids running up to him, Jinyoung would have something edible on the table and they’d be like that cookie cutter family he always wished he could have for just a moment.

He wanted someone for Bambam to run to when he had gossip and no one else would listen.

Wanted to cheer Mark and Jackson on side by side during their tournaments or carry Youngjae around while he tried to bake something for Yugyeom’s fundraiser.

He really wanted a family.

He really wanted to get married.

He really wanted to get married to Im Jaebum.

“Then what is it? What do you mean by too soon, what makes you want to push the date back an entire month?”

Jinyoung knew he would ask, it had been eating away at him the entire time, how to answer that one question. Yet, in all that time he’d never come up with a response. Not even a half truth that could smooth things over until he thought Jaebum could handle what really happened without doing something stupid like he was prone to.

Jaebum shook his head, “Don’t tell me then, it’s not like I need to know right.” He kept moving away until he got to the stairs.

“Wait a second will you.”

Jinyoung could just tell him the truth. He could just tell him why he changed everything, they weren’t teenagers anymore and Jaebum didn’t think protecting people meant punching things.

He could tell him.

Jaebum was pulling off his work shirt so forcefully a few of the buttons popped off, dropping soundlessly to the floor, “What?” he wasn’t listening, too busy yanking open the dresser drawer with one hand and unlatching his belt with the other.

Jinyoung squeezed himself in the small space between Jaebum and the drawer, “Can you stop.”

They were so close Jinyoung could feel Jaebum’s hair on his forehead when the latter turned to scowl at a spot on the floor, the heat radiating off his skin making his shirt feel tight all of a sudden. “I do want this. I never would’ve said yes if I didn’t.”

“You’ve said yes before and changed your mind what makes this time any different.” his eyes narrowed into slits and Jinyoung tried not to shiver knowing it’d make Jaebum feel guilty and they’d end up putting the conversation on hold.

“I’m older, you’re older, the kids are older. A lot is different from then, we’re both finally stable and we’re both independent.”

“So what you want independence? Sorry to inform you but you’ve got two huge reasons why you’re not, that have nothing to do with me.”

“That’s,” he grabbed Jaebum’s wrist before he could storm off again, “that’s not what I mean and you know that.”

“I do.” Jaebum conceded. “What do you mean by too soon then? Your mother said you pushed everything back because it was too soon and I don’t want you to feel like you can’t talk to me about it.” he looked so much like a kitten then, like something fragile and the wrong breath would send him running back into the shadows.

“To when the kids get out of school. They’re already stressed out enough because of us I thought maybe they might want a break.”

“Wait what?”

“My mother didn’t tell you that part?”

Jaebum rubbed the back of his neck, his scowl morphing into a shy expression, “It is possible I might have cut her off before she could get to it.”

Jinyoung ducked his head so he could capture his eyes, “It’s possible? Or you being you, didn’t listen to someone and did something without thinking.”

“Did I tell you how great that shirts looks on you? I mean really the fabric is just wow, amazing. Did Bambam pick it out?”

Jinyoung pressed his pointer finger roughly into Jaebum’s forehead causing him to be knocked backward. “Pabo.”

Jaebum reacted quickly, catching Jinyoung around the waist so when he fell to the bed behind him, Jinyoung ended up right on top.

“Who’s the pabo now?” he teased.

“Put a shirt on, I don’t condone exhibitionism in this house.”

“Ah you’re no fun.”

Maybe just this once Jinyoung would keep something to himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So finals, anybody else out there struggling?
> 
> My whole end note got deleted r.i.p me. Basically I’m getting confused with all the different timelines and stories I’m working on so I’m trying to stick with this to the end then go back and finish the others.  
> I made a Twitter you guys can follow me @laylazwrites (still figuring out to add links) for updates on how the next chapter is going and bonus scenes that didn’t make the story.  
> The word count goal is now 80k, see you soon.

**Author's Note:**

> The result of a two a.m fever dream.  
> The summary took me way to long to write because I really suck at summaries I know the one I have now is terrible and maybe a bit misleading? I don't know.  
> But basically JJP is getting married and their kids say they're happy for their parents but when they see the reality of becoming a family it might be a little bit harder than they'd thought.  
> This is supposed to be a short 30k word story but I'll say that now and it'll end up being even longer so we'll see, but the story is finished it just needs to be edited.  
> If you've got this far thank you for reading, seriously. I ramble so much in my end notes these days, I really expect someone to comment saying just shut-up and write the story but there's just sooo much I want to say.


End file.
